Posts by NewLight2

Jssyooo,

My advice to you is: Run like He** away from this man.

Stick around this site and learn more about how damaging the JW Cult can be to a 'mixed marriage'. Be advised that the JW's do not tell the whole truth about what they really believe to 'outsiders'. Even those who are converts to this religion do not realize until AFTER their baptism just how restricting and controlling this cult is.

Did you know that JW's are encouraged to spy on their 'brothers and sisters' and report any infraction of the rules to the elders?

Do you realize that any future children you and he have could be 'required to die for Jehovah' by refusing a blood tranfusion? This is true even if YOU oppose your JW husband in this matter. The JW's consider HIM the 'head of household' and therefore he would be expected to follow the rules and refuse blood for his child. Your wishes would be disregarded.

Do you realize that if the elders think that you are hindering your husband's progress in the religion by discussing oppossing viewpoints with him, the elders will 'encourage' your husband to leave you on the grounds of 'spiritual endangerment'?

This is only the tip of the ugly iceburg that you will be facing if you marry a JW.

NewLight2

This may help you:
The Name "Jehovah" in the New World Translation

Here is the home page which may also be of some interest to you:
Jehovah's Witnesses: A Critical Analysis

Glad I could be of some help to you in this very difficult situation.

NL2

Shawn,

I'm so sorry for you. Keep your chin up. I know that this is painful right now, but in the long run, this may have been the best way for now. She is just following 'instructions' probably from an elder. No doubt they have 'encouraged' her to 'choose Jehovah' by breaking all ties with someone who she considers to be a 'spiritual danger' to herself. She is not turning her back on you as a person, but rather on what you represent ie 'THE WORLD'. In her mind she is choosing to 'follow Jehovah by turning her back on worldy friends'. This is painful for her too.

Even though SHE has choosen to abanden you, you do not need to abanden her or her child. I would wait about a couple of weeks and send her a nice card that says "To my friend". Choose one that is not too gushy but yet says "I care" or "Thinking of you". Hopefully she will send you one back. DO NOT mention anything about 'religion' when sending the card. You might want to send her son a small gift as well - ie a candy bar or something else he may like.

Please continue with your learning about the WT here on JWD and by reading books.

NewLight2

Jeff,

What you say makes sense in the long run, but I was thinking that this process of being 'interested' could be streached out to years. I've read on this forum how some have remained 'studies' for years on end without much difficulity. I was not suggesting that he attend ALL the meetings, just perhaps a Sunday meeting now and then. Just enough to give his friend the comfort she needs right now to remaid his friend.

I agree with you that this process has its risks, but so does 'remaining a worldy person' for Shawn.

What advise would you give to Shawn?

NewLight2

AuntieJane,

I would not advise most people to start attending the KH or accept a 'study', but I feel that Shawn has been 'cult-proofed' enough to handle this experience. His 'drive to rescue' runs very deep and this suggests to me, that he will not allow himself to be sucked in by their lies or mind-control.

NewLight2

Ok, Shawn, time for plan B:

First of all, even though you 'messed-up' due to lack of experience, not all is lost. So take heart, and do not be so hard on yourself.

Since she now sees you as a potential 'opposer', you need to re-gain her trust. At this point this is not a hard job to do, since it seems that she has accepted your apology for now. You need to retrace your steps backward and become an 'interested one' again. As long as she thinks of you as an 'interested one' she will not cut you off. However if she views you as 'a worldy person' or an 'opposer' she may cut the ties. Why not try attending the KH for a time?

JW's usually attend the KH that is closest to their home. Does your friend live near you? Is her KH in your 'territory'?

For a time, it may be a good idea to attend a different KH then that of your friend, as this will allow you more freedom to learn about the JW's without the fear of 'messing things up' with your friendship. (I'm not telling you to break off contact with her - I'll post more on how to continue your friendship in an another paragraph.)

Your goal in attending the KH is primarily to show your friend that you ARE interested in learning more about how JW's 'worship'. You can also use this time to make 'friends' with a few other JW's. DO NOT TRY TO CONVERT ANY OF THEM AT THIS TIME! Your conversations should center on light topics only - fishing, weather, hobbies etc. IF they offer to give you a 'free Bible study' accept the offer. This will show your friend that you really are an 'interested one'. Just keep us posted and we'll continue to help you in this learning process.

It may be a good idea to leave the topic of 'religion' mostly out of your conversations with your friend for a time. Try just doing fun things with her and her son. Go to movies. Go to the beach. Go on a picnic. As long as you are attending the KH or 'studying' she will be allowed to 'associate' with you.

Put all attempts at 'rescue' on hold for a while, but do continue on with YOUR own learning process. Are there any people who go to your church interested in counter-cult ministry? Maybe you can find someone there who shares your concern.

Keep us posted on the events as they happen and feel free to continue posting your questions here on JWD.

NewLight2

"Well, this was an excerise in futility. The end result is that JWs have no true offer of salvation and lie to people with false promises." - - Shawn


I would say that the thread was a success! You learned some of the ways that JW's think. You also learned (I hope) that this approach will not work with the active JW. The reason is that the posters on this thread DID answer your question, but you just did not accept the answers that they presented to you. This would make an active JW feel very frustrated, as they feel that they DO have all of the right answers.

Again you have to let the JW 'think' he is teaching you, not you insisting on wanting to hear what you want to hear from them. When you do manage to back them into a corner, you have to let them 'save face' to you by accepting any answer that they give to you. But you can be confident that you have struck a 'bell in their brain' that will just keep ringing louder and louder. When they have enough of these 'tiny bells' ringing all at once, that is when they will begin to doubt and search out their own answers on the internet.

NewLight2

"I am looking for some that are not directly in violation of the WTS." -- Shawn

Shawn,

It is a simple fact, that ANY web site that is critical of the WTS will be in violation of the conscience of the JW. They are taught NOT to look at anything dealing with religion that has not been published by the WTS. In the broad sense of the word all would be classed as "Apostate Sites". In the narrow sense of the term - If a website is published by an ex-JW, then it would be classed as "Apostate". If the person who published the website was never a JW, then it will be classed as a site of an "Opposer", but it still will not be acceptable.

NewLight2