Posts by venusinfauxfurs

28

Not on a WTS Cover - Famine Continues to Decline

by berrygerry in

that darn satan keeps confusing those horsies in apocalypse - they seem to be going in reverse.. http://www.cnsnews.com/news/article/global-hunger-calamitous-famine-eradicated-last-50-years.

venusinfauxfurs

Agree, Village idiot. It's incorrect to say these are not difficult times but while JWs sit around waiting for everyone to be destroyed, not lifting a finger to offer any practical help to heathens, human beings are trying to create better world conditions which is what people of God are called to do. its not Godly or Christian to sit around pointing out how bad the world is and doing nothing.

when I was still in, I gave a homeless woman a magazine while street witnessing and she said "can I eat this?" The self righteous pioneer sister with me, with twenty gold items of jewellery on says "we have done what we have to, if we help them, it shows people that Satans system works." In other words JW don't feel a moral obligation to help anybody.

i've been on the cart while a homeless man was there browsing and the sister told him he couldn't take as many tracts as he was taking in case he wasn't going to actually read them but use them for toilet paper or something. She then gloated about generously giving him $1 to buy a coffee.

I could write a book on the lack of compassion I saw within the JWs and the amount of charity and good works I've seen now that I am part of a small neighbourhood Christian church.

29

Is there any way around this? (Preaching when you don't believe)

by venusinfauxfurs in

i figure i can do more to wake friends and family up on the inside than the outside and i didn't come to that decision without a great deal of pain.

i know it's not "the truth" but it isn't a bad life for me,and i still very much believe in god.

the witnesses aren't right but neither are the mormons, the catholics, etc and i have other family devoted to both those faiths.

venusinfauxfurs

Thank you for all the advice, everyone. I'm all confused and afraid to leave friends and family and maybe even angry at God for allowing people to be misled by the WBTS so badly. It almost made me stop believing in God. The witnesses have been good to me. I know people have bad experiences but the org stopped me from making bad choices and was what made me believe in God again and pray, when I had stopped, and offers wholesome association that i really value. My family and friends that are in 110% believe in it and they're good people, and it breaks my heart to hear them talk about "hoping they've done enough come Armageddon." when I know thats not what the Bible teaches.

My current fears is that I've rejected Jesus by associating with JW's and that he wont forgive me. I don't believe in the Jw Jesus, i believe in the Jesus of the Bible. I believe he's God and salvation is through him and him alone. If Jesus can read my heart, and I can preach the right gospel, am I comdemned?

I know i haven't stopped believing in God because i wouldn't have this guilty conscience that I'm in a wrong religion.

I know of other people who have figured out the religion that they thought was truth turned out just to be a safe, hiding place from a world they fear for whatever reason. Does it really matter what church someone belongs to if they pray, have faith, speak of Jesus, and don't believe all the doctrines? Does it matter where someone finds God?

To the person that asked me, I believe other religions are false through my own research. This has really driven me insane. Panic attacks are no surprise at this point. I've gone through everything from which Bible is real, to which religion teaches truth and feel like none of them do.

My other question is, since I'm only an unbaptized publisher, can i walk away any time or will i be shunned? The process for breaking away when you're not dunked is easier, or not? I have to stay for the time being because its better the devil I know for now. And if i have to be going door to door, I want to direct people towards the bible and Jesus. I'm just so worried and even losing sleep over disappointing God and i feel like this is how Satan is attacking me. I keep thinking of the scripture only people who know something is wrong are accountable for sin and that just makes me want to be blind like the rest of the org who believe this stuff, still. THIS SUCKS! Sorry, but i had to say that. As i said, i don't hate the JW lifestyle. I even have a friend in who i suspect has read things because she said "Even if it's not the truth, it's been a good life for me."

Is there any harm in staying an unbaptized publisher until i'm in a better position to leave? and in the meantime, preach only what i believe? I know i'm screwed once i make a full commitment and i want to avoid that for as long as possible. How long can i stay unbaptized?

29

Is there any way around this? (Preaching when you don't believe)

by venusinfauxfurs in

i figure i can do more to wake friends and family up on the inside than the outside and i didn't come to that decision without a great deal of pain.

i know it's not "the truth" but it isn't a bad life for me,and i still very much believe in god.

the witnesses aren't right but neither are the mormons, the catholics, etc and i have other family devoted to both those faiths.

venusinfauxfurs

I'm in and have to be for now. I figure I can do more to wake friends and family up on the inside than the outside and i didn't come to that decision without a great deal of pain. I know it's not "the truth" but it isn't a bad life for me,and I still very much believe in God. The witnesses aren't right but neither are the Mormons, the catholics, etc and i have other family devoted to both those faiths. I wrote a thread about panic attacks but they've stopped since i made a decision to stay rather than go or constantly dwell on going. My question is: for anyone still in, and loves God and the Bible, do you try to have conversations about those things at the door, rather than WT doctrine? This is really a question for christians who are still jehovahs witnesses. Has anyone/ does anyone do this to get around it? I enjoy talking about God and the Bible.

31

Sitting Still at Meetings has Become an Impossibility

by venusinfauxfurs in

since i know the truth about jw, and still have to go to meetings for family reasons (and because i don't want to leave my friends, either) i get so sick in my chair in the hall.

i can't pay attention, i can't sit still knowing it's all such a waste of time and a big fat lie.

i get weird symptoms like: the feeling that i'm going to almost pass out, very sweaty or very cold, and weak legs though i'm sitting down, and the urge to get up and run away.

venusinfauxfurs

Hi everyone, knowing other people have gone through this nightmare helps a lot. I have a long road of psychotherapy ahead of me that i wish would be unnecessary as long as i just left the hall for good - and maybe it will be - i keep forgetting i haven't taken that leap of faith to find out. I'm still having panic attacks from hell because i'm looking for reasons to stay in this thing when my conscience just wants out. My body is carrying all the stress of my mind saying "if only everyone i loved would wake up" and as most of us here would know, that's completely beyond our control :( :( :( :( :(

I was out yesterday and JW's from my hall who are just new to the hall i attend were nearby and even that was making me anxious. I don't think its solely limited to the bullshit on the platform. I just have to think about them and get worked up. It's weird though... when i'm sitting in the hall, there are trigger words that make me sick! I now take mind control seriously. Those trigger words all have to do with the organization itself. The only time i didn't have a panic attack in the past few months was when the WT was somewhat about Jesus. Call it crazy, but i was oddly calm. BUT Not because i was focused on the WT article itself (i never am) but because i was thinking about Jesus my own way, not reading along. Then i started to cry discreetly, and it was the first time i was ever moved in a kingdom hall. It didn't come from the platform, it came from within me, where Jesus says the kingdom is. JW's dont believe that because they're spiritually dead. I know thats harsh but thats the conclusion i've come to.

This wont make sense to atheists, but the more i pray, the harder it is to stay in there. Jesus says you'll know the truth and it'll set you free, but not while i'm chained to the org, still. I'm no longer leaving with thoughts of "Where to now?" i know what it is to follow Jesus, when 6 months ago, when all this started happening mildly, i didn't know that yet. I hadn't studied the bible on it's own and i couldn't imagine not belonging to something that did all the thinking for me.

But the more i pray and read the Bible (and NOT the corrupt NWT) the more I find scriptures that confirm JWs are not the truth. Scriptures that I've never heard in a KH. The other night i listened and read along with LittleToe's final talk and got extremely emotional. THAT was a "spiritual banquet" not WT crap.

Please bear with me, because it might sound crazy, but my whole motivation to stay in the mess is a man and he is so deep into it, it's not funny. I have this stupid fantasy i suppose of marrying him because he's so nice, loves God, blah blah, but I'm trying to think of it this way: he would stand idly by while his family, friend, or his wife (if that was to be me) died from refusing blood. I'm trying to see how terrible marrying a JW could be, as opposed to what i've been brought up to believe: they're the best men in the world, basically. I've got rose coloured glasses on, but these panic attacks are showing me whats really going down. I have friends married to JW men and they're like stepford wives, really. Look alike, sound alike, think alike. And yet some part of me is apparently harboring a desire to join them!? And their husbands do shitkicker jobs for a living in order to pioneer. I think this back and forth thinking is fuelling an impending nervous breakdown.

I did the phone meeting the other night just to see if i could have a panic attack from the crap while in my house. No. I didn't get the symptoms, but my bullshit detector went off like crazy. had i BEEN THERE, i would have had a full blown attack. This time they were saying "If you look like the world in hairstyle and dress, will Jesus recognize you when he returns?" SERIOUSLY WTF!? What happened to reading hearts? When did it become all about appearances? Jesus even says something about "being outwardly beautiful and inwardly, whitewashed graves." I wanted to scream down the phone "Would you recognize him if he's not wearing a suit and carrying a briefcase, Pharisees!?"

It just gets MORE and MORE ridiculous.

I think i have to cut it completely. The more I go back, the more i find reasons to stay when my conscience doesn't want to and is fighting me right until I'm in the car park of the hall when it's over. I guess, at the end of the day there's no REAL purpose to be there, the bad exceeds the good, and thats all my mind can concentrate on.

31

Sitting Still at Meetings has Become an Impossibility

by venusinfauxfurs in

since i know the truth about jw, and still have to go to meetings for family reasons (and because i don't want to leave my friends, either) i get so sick in my chair in the hall.

i can't pay attention, i can't sit still knowing it's all such a waste of time and a big fat lie.

i get weird symptoms like: the feeling that i'm going to almost pass out, very sweaty or very cold, and weak legs though i'm sitting down, and the urge to get up and run away.

venusinfauxfurs

Since I know the truth about JW, and still have to go to meetings for family reasons (and because i don't want to leave my friends, either) I get so sick in my chair in the hall. I can't pay attention, I can't sit still knowing it's all such a waste of time and a big fat lie. I get weird symptoms like: the feeling that I'm going to almost pass out, very sweaty or very cold, and weak legs though I'm sitting down, and the urge to get up and run away. It's very bizarre. I went and had medical tests and nothing is physically wrong with me, and they said it's all in my mind. The doctor referred me to a psychologist and wrote on the letter that I'm associated with Jehovah's Witnesses so I guess they consider that a significant part of the issue.

I used to have a hard time going to meetings & would hyperventilate in the carpark because I've always struggled to fit in with the congregation, not being baptized and all, even though my family are there I definitely feel left out of things and people have told me "We haven't moved away from you. You're the one not making steps towards us" and all this other emotional blackmail. I don't blame them: I'd be wondering what I'm doing too. I mean, I well and truly know the doctrine, and I'm fence sitting. Thats because I read the Bible on my own and came to the conclusion that the witnesses are wrong, and the internet verified it. I want to leave but can't just yet.

Whats going on with me! Why can't I just sit there and listen to the crap, even though I know its crap? I figured I'd be more relaxed, but I'm not. It's getting too much. As I said, I can't leave just yet, but what can I do in the meantime to get through meetings? I'm even worried about leaving in this state because they'll say "Jehovah got rid of her, he could see she wasn't serious" because i wouldn't put it past them. This might be a strange theory but could it be a result of brainwashing coming undone? It's like my head is basically rejecting it and my body is on red alert. I had fantasies of marrying into this like most of my friends are and part of it appealed to me, but my conscience is giving me the hardest time of all. I know it's crap but i can't just sit there and stomach it and my suppressed beliefs have manifested themselves physically. Has anyone had a similar experience?

17

Would the holy spirit appoint an elder this stupid? Not likely!

by venusinfauxfurs in

you learn something new in the kingdom hall every week.... .

i told an elder that i'm not going out in field service yet but god knows why that is and it's between him and i (translation: jehovahs witnesses are not the truth and it's a colossal waste of time) and i assume the elder took it to mean i want to do it but can't for some reason because he said "jehovah doesn't know that though.

he has to see you out there in field service to know that you're serious.

venusinfauxfurs

You learn something new in the kingdom hall every week...

I told an elder that I'm not going out in field service yet but God knows why that is and it's between him and I (translation: jehovahs witnesses are not the truth and it's a colossal waste of time) and I assume the elder took it to mean I want to do it but can't for some reason because he said "Jehovah doesn't know that though. He has to see you out there in field service to know that you're serious. He can't read your mind."

GOD CAN'T READ MINDS.

28

Best answer to "What prevents you from getting baptized?"

by venusinfauxfurs in

the nosy elder at the congregation i attend until i can get out very soon (just quickly: born in, was headed towards unbaptized pub but changed my mind about that and baptism) pulled me aside and showed me the scripture about coming across the body of water and asking "what prevents me from getting baptized" and i really want a quick, preferably smart-ass reply the next time he puts me on the spot like that.. .

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fire away!

venusinfauxfurs

The nosy elder at the congregation i attend until i can get out very soon (just quickly: born in, was headed towards unbaptized pub but changed my mind about that and baptism) pulled me aside and showed me the scripture about coming across the body of water and asking "what prevents me from getting baptized" and I really want a quick, preferably smart-ass reply the next time he puts me on the spot like that.

Fire away!