Posts by drippee

8

An intro to my experience

by drippee in

good evening,.

i had an old account a few years back but since then have had a lot happen to me.

i grew up in the faith, pioneered, did everything i could to keep my parents and peers off of my back, but nothing seemed to be enough to satisfy them.

drippee

I REALLY needed this. It’s a relief hearing that it’s not just me, that I’m not alone or going absolutely insane. I’ve been so caught up in what “once was” and fearing my future.

To this day I still live with the confusion of what people want from me. If I went above and beyond as a witness it wasn’t enough and I still got lectured so I pull away from doing anything and drop off the face of the earth and it’s definitely frowned upon. I think it’s awful to put a child through that while they are trying to grow and develop.

Goodbye childhood confusion, hello ptsd

8

An intro to my experience

by drippee in

good evening,.

i had an old account a few years back but since then have had a lot happen to me.

i grew up in the faith, pioneered, did everything i could to keep my parents and peers off of my back, but nothing seemed to be enough to satisfy them.

drippee

I appreciate the replies and it is hard to navigate thoughts and feelings that I’m dealing with. I’ll be 22 in a month but i feel I don’t click well with people my age. I do agree that people would definitely be leery and cautious around me. I am just amazed at the fact that people can just flip a switch and cut someone off for the sake of a religion. Pretty sad.

Do you think if any of them saw me now with my tattoos that they would treat me like I was DF’d?

I do believe that living a happy and successful life is absolutely the best form of revenge. Maybe I have a lot more resentment against them than I thought. What a time to be alive

8

An intro to my experience

by drippee in

good evening,.

i had an old account a few years back but since then have had a lot happen to me.

i grew up in the faith, pioneered, did everything i could to keep my parents and peers off of my back, but nothing seemed to be enough to satisfy them.

drippee

Good evening,

I had an old account a few years back but since then have had a lot happen to me. I grew up in the faith, pioneered, did everything I could to keep my parents and peers off of my back, but nothing seemed to be enough to satisfy them. After all, it seemed as though all of this “worship” was merely for outside appearance and it didn’t feel like it was actually for spirituality or serving God.

Growing up in this environment has made me into a very confused and insecure adult. I don’t understand exactly where I stand with my family, former friends, and overall religion. I was desperate to get out and my parents wouldn’t let me leave home or the religion so I took matters into my own hands. I left home spur of the moment, (basically ran away but I was 18), and told the elders I was stepping away from the truth just so nobody would reach out to me. But I don’t think that was ever announced at a meeting because my family still reaches out to me and I have one friend that still worries about me and checks in on me.

I have an overwhelming amount of anxiety whenever they try to visit with me because I don’t want to get dragged back into that mess and I live a very different lifestyle than them. But really just a normal life in “the eyes of the world”. I have tattoos, I swear, I watch rated r movies, I smoke, anything else the witnesses can twist into being “worldly” and “unclean”.

I have no desire to be a witness again, but part of me can’t help but keep thinking about the good times I had with my friends and family. I miss my friends and family because I don’t have any now and i guess im just having mixed feelings. I keep wondering where I would stand if I reached out or if any of them saw me again. They all act as though I haven’t left the truth, granted they haven’t seen me in 3 years. Is it dumb to feel like this? Wish I could word this all better and maybe I’m just letting nostalgia get the better of me.