CoonDawg

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Posts by CoonDawg

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  3

  My JW gardener

  by CoonDawg in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  okay, so i've had these people cutting my grass for about the last 4 or 5 months.

  we hired them because they were cutting a nearby neighbor's grass and ours needed it.

  i told my mom about them and when i mentioned their name, she says "oh, they go to ....hall".

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  CoonDawg

  Yep, he was a total tool. Apparently, he's recently re-activated himself after several years of being inactive. Guess he's bucking for GB extra credit or something. I didn't care. Maybe word will get out to leave this gated comminity confined redneck the f*ck alone. I'll take all comers. I'm a crazy mo-fo like that.
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  3

  My JW gardener

  by CoonDawg in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  okay, so i've had these people cutting my grass for about the last 4 or 5 months.

  we hired them because they were cutting a nearby neighbor's grass and ours needed it.

  i told my mom about them and when i mentioned their name, she says "oh, they go to ....hall".

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  CoonDawg

  Okay, so I've had these people cutting my grass for about the last 4 or 5 months. We hired them because they were cutting a nearby neighbor's grass and ours needed it. I told my Mom about them and when I mentioned their name, she says "Oh, they go to ....hall". My immediate reaction was "Oh, shit!" I discussed it with my wife and decided, well as long as they do a reasonable job...who cares?
  
  So, after quite some time, last week I decided to fire them. I finally got my riding mower going again, thinking to sell it ...but decided f*ck it...I'll do my own yard and save some money. They do a crappy job anyhow. So, I cut the grass, trim, edge and finish blowing the clippings off the drive and sidewalk. As I'm finishing up, I see the crew a bit down the street doing another yard. I know that theoretically I'm next. I finish up, enjoy a glass of tea and bring my dog out to potty in the yard.
  
  About this time, the dude pulls up in his truck, looks studiously at my yard and says "So, someone cut your grass?"
  
  "Yep." I sez...
  
  "Who'd you have do it? and when?" he asked..
  
  "Me and about 15 minutes ago."
  
  So, anyhow...he asks me if I'm quitting their service and I say "yeah, I guess that's about right." He starts going "oh, man....I wish I'd have known. You're supposed to give me 30 days notice before stopping service." I said "sorry, but I didn't know."
  
  Then this asshole has the nerve to say "Yeah...it's a common courtesy from a customer to a business." So, I'm like "oh, no you di-int."
  
  I say "Oh, you mean like a company calling someone back when they request an estimate instead of no contact at all for 3 1/2 weeks?" That shut him the f*ck up. Then he says "Oh, by the way aren't you *****'s son?" I said yes. He starts asking about if I'm a witness or not and if I've been baptized. I said, "Yes I was baptized but haven't gone to meetings in many years now." So, he gets all preachy on me. He starts saying "Well, I hope you make some positive changes in your life before it's too late."
  
  So, being my facetious self I say "Oh, you bet I am. Why I'm in my first semester of college pursuing a degree. I don't think it's too late, but I wish I'd done it when I was fresh out of high school...but the governing body was really frowning on college back then."
  
  He scowls and says..."I wasn't meaning materialistic pursuits."
  
  I said..." I know what you meant, but what you see as positive change and what I see as positive change are very different."
  
  So, he changes tactics and starts asking me why I left. I told him..." I REALLY don't think you want to hear it."
  
  So at this point, let me make it perfectly clear....I gave the dude his chance to run. But NOOOOOOOOOOO he had to keep poking the bear with the stick. So, finally, I walked over to his truck and let him have it.
  I told him in a nutshell that the organization was a load of crap and he didn't even realize what he was into. I even told him about the sex-abuse settelments being paid out of their donations because of their policies. He didn't know abou this so I said..."Yeah, well there's alot you don't know. Look up the court documents. The plaintiffs were represented by Norris & Love of Dallas, TX."
  
  Anyhow, he went to the standard argument of "well, men are imperfect and god will correct things in his time."
  
  I told him "That's a bullshit argument. What kind of loving god lets the liars go along sometimes until they die, leaving a wake of human wreckage and destroyed lives behind them?" He says "Well, he does correct it eventually." I said "that's a cop out. So you're telling me that these hurting ones who rely on God and the elders for comfort are just supposed to suck it up and bide their time?" He actually said "Yeah, I guess that's about it."
  
  So I say "So, are you going to be the one to tell my 15 year old daughter who was sexually abused by a witness in good standing who lived the rest of his life in good standing that she should just put on her big girl panties and get over it? Are you going to do that? HMMM?"
  
  He stammered and hymmed and hawed.... About that time, his brother - also a JW who was fired by my dad for doing crappy work...comes up. He actually said something derogatory about my dad after noting our physical similarities. I feigned some crisis in the house and left. As I left I said "guess I'll see you around. Make sure you think about what I told you."
  
  Good thing I live in a gated community and they can't get in to preach or do elder calls. F*ck those bastards. I guess they now know where the new 'postate in the area lives. I know it galls them because my mom is a well known witness in the area and my wife is a (relatively) active witness in good standing in the area too...so they really can't do anything.
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  6

  If God does destroy the world iin 2012, can he start with Florida?

  by easyreader1970 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  http://www.floridatoday.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?aid=/20080909/breakingnews/80909021.

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  CoonDawg

  Well, I know this post was kind of meant in a joking "Hey, WahhHappened?" kind of way...but in all seriousness...I live in a gated community with an HOA. Our decision to do this was because, when we were looking for homes, we found several that we liked. There would be one or two really nice homes (one of wich we were considering the purchase of) and then half a block away, it looked like white trash heaven where the grass isn't cut...if there even is grass...the homes are unpainted, and you don't park on the street because that's what the front yard is for. I'm sorry, but from a home buyer prospective, I'd rather have some assurances that there will be at least SOME standards. That's not to say some communities don't go overboard...

  We looked at one community and when I asked for the HOA covenants, it was a three ring binder fully 2 1/2 inches thick full of rules and regulations up to and including the provision that "any window treatment that is visible from outside the home must fit with the exterior decore of the surrounding properties." Now this means that if my neighbor thinks my curtains are tacky, they can make a fuss and I'd be forced to change my freakin' curtains INSIDE MY HOUSE! I don't mind some restrictive rules, but I also don't want it to go overboard. Fortunately, I have a place with some standards, but they aren't little nazis about it.
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  8

  The Kingdumb Melody is not an American Idol audition

  by DoomVoyager in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  keeping a straight face during the song is hard enough given the wacky lyrical content; the last thing i need is the "new sister" standing right behind me and loudly delivering a breathy, lispy, over-dramatic rendition of "stay asleep stand firm grow culty".

  simon cowell is not listening in.

  or how about that one guy every hall has who bawls the songs out, painfully out of tune, way louder than anyone else.

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  CoonDawg

  Or how about that one guy every hall has who bawls the songs out, painfully out of tune, way louder than anyone else.

  That was always my dad. I was amazed, even as a young child, if you stood next to him during the song, he'd suck you into the vortex of way out of tune. He'd f*ck up at least 6 other people around him.
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  12

  My son is visiting this weekend and he wants to go back to college

  by troubled mind in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  when my son was in high school he received a scholarship for two yrs at our community college .

  we were all witnesses at that time , but we encouraged him to go for the education .

  he would have to attend night classes two nights during the week that interfered with meetings.

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  CoonDawg

  I've just gone back and am in my first semseter. I didn't qualify for any grants, but I did qualify for unsubsidized federally guaranteed Stafford loans. In english, that means I have a low interest loan that I don't have to start paying on until I'm done with school. I've elected to pay the interest fees while I'm in school so it doesn't "capitalize" or "hit all at once with accrued interest". I'm working part time and should be able to afford it. Next semester, I'll qualify for in state tuition, so I'll be paying about one third of what I am this semester. I'll also be applying for scholarships as often as possible and trying to talk my HR people in to paying for some of this too.
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  20

  Alan Feuerbacher, Bob Wallen and "Apostasy"

  by Dogpatch in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hmmm.... let's see... dogz has a few nice things to share today!.

  first on the agenda:.

  from a km school in nov 2001 in fremont, calif., in the far right corner, is robert "bob" wallen, high level mucky muck at bethel, rated #2 in power and authoritae by barb herself!.

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  CoonDawg

  Was this the Wallen that spent so long at the Farm? and whose dad was a CO?
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  33

  What is your comfort food?

  by compound complex in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  dear fellow gourmands,.

  i have completed the polishing off of a sizeable portion of fettuccine, smothered with an ordinary tomato sauce including ground beef, lottsa herbs, extra virgin olive oil and topped with grated romano and chopped italian parsely.. therefore, i am in a state complete and utter satisfaction.

  what foods - dishes - feed your soul as well as your belly?.

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  CoonDawg

  Homemade chicken and noodles with homemade noodles (some would contend that they are actually dumplings) It's one of the recipies I got from my mom before I left home and one dish I ALWAYS took seconds on. My mom recently had surgery and is home recovering from it for the next 12 weeks. Her one request: Yep, Chicken and Noodles. They were fabulous as usual.
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  6

  Joanie the jehovahs witness stripper

  by avishai in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  saw this guy live last thurs.

  laughed my head off, it was a great show.

  this song is great.

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  CoonDawg

  Here's my theme song on some days...as it is for many others.

  http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzU9FgNTYrU

  On a side note, Paul Thorne actually was at one time a boxer.
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  6

  Funny JW memories/stories

  by superman in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  since most of my memories of being a jw, are terrible(and i do mean most of them).

  i figured i share one funny one.

  one time back when they first started the new number 2 talk arrangement (switched to only doing bible readings, and not having to actually write a talk), i got a talk slip but lost it.a few weeks later i didn't realize i had a talk only until i got to the thursday night meeting, and the school overseer came up to ask me, "are you all set for your talk tonight"?

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  CoonDawg

  I remember being about 7 years old and the society had a new tract and a campaign to go with it called "Why are we here?". So, me and another little 7 year old go to a door..(who in the hell pairs up a couple of 7 year old boys for service?) my companion knocks on the door and starts his spiel. "We were talking to people about the question: Why are we here?" The man in his mid 30's looked right at him and said..."Yeah....Why are YOU here?" Watching my friend's brain lock up and watching him sputter for an answer was one of the funniest things ever.
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  37

  Have any of you heard about "The Cleavage Talk?" C'mon!!

  by Lady Zombie in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  supposedly about the same time as the bethel visitor's dress code brochure, talks were being given in kh concerning women showing cleavage.. i don't know.

  i haven't heard any of these talks myself, but my folks tell me they have.

  they also told me about the talks given in other congregations (reported to them by their friends).. i guess some cos, pos, etc.

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  CoonDawg

  Watch yourself, LockedChaos! You obviously haven't deadened your body members.

  By the way....my idea of spanking your body member didn't go over well as a way to "deaden" them. Seems that completely wasn't what they meant.