Ziddina, I don`t get it but nevermind. It is still morning here in eastern europe. :D
I am not having any visions nor feeling cold wind pushing my back. But still dont understand how that video is related to my response.
will-be-apostate
JoinedPosts by will-be-apostate
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22
Fear of discussing doubts
by KingAgag inwhen i was having doubts about being a jehovah's witness, i was terrified to talk about them to anyone.
i knew that having a different opinion than the watchtower was 'wrong'.. i wrote about my experience here - http://www.jehovahswitnessblog.com/real-life-experiences/fear-discussing-doubts/.
please share your experiences too!.
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Contest: Rename that religion!
by smmcroberts ina while back, whatistruth posted the question: how many bible events can we site that no human has ever witnessed.
i was surprised that no one cited isaiah 43:10: .
you are my witnesses, is the utterance of jehovah, even my servant whom i have chosen, in order that you may know and have faith in me, and that you may understand that i am the same one.
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will-be-apostate
I don`t even try to think of one. I am not given the holy spirit like our almighty, fellow brothers from Brooklyn.
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Fear of discussing doubts
by KingAgag inwhen i was having doubts about being a jehovah's witness, i was terrified to talk about them to anyone.
i knew that having a different opinion than the watchtower was 'wrong'.. i wrote about my experience here - http://www.jehovahswitnessblog.com/real-life-experiences/fear-discussing-doubts/.
please share your experiences too!.
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will-be-apostate
Blackship, my parents are the same especially dad. I had conversations with them about my doubts. I soon came to the conclusion that every trying and reasoning is just a dead end street.
A friend of mine - an ms- knows that I am hanging around on an apostate site, and that I have doubts. I often feel like yelling at meetings when I hear something ridiculous thing. I wonder how they cannot see the illogical teachings and explanations. I hate when there is a scripture that clearly contradicts to an other, yet they are forcing a completely foolish explanation.
I am also laughing in my mind because they worry about things that I dont have to. It is good to be free inside. It would be better to be free phisically.
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"Our Reader's Ask" November 2012 Public WT
by dontplaceliterature inhas anyone seen this?
it's rich.
it's too bad that this will blow right over the heads of jehovah's witnesses.
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will-be-apostate
Yet, they are wondering why the stagnate in baptism. The wts cannot image how deeply we obey to them in this thing.
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Hey. Anyone wanna skype with me?
by will-be-apostate inso finaly i bought me my first notebook.
i need to improve at my english speeking so i thought it would be a good idea to speak with somebody on skype.. in my area i have no chance to have skill building english conversations.
i also would like to share my experience as a witness.. in one word, i need an englishspeeker friend.
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will-be-apostate
So finaly I bought me my first notebook. I need to improve at my english speeking so I thought it would be a good idea to speak with somebody on skype.
In my area I have no chance to have skill building english conversations. I also would like to share my experience as a witness.
In one word, I need an englishspeeker friend.
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Confused in Career Choice 2 - The Real Thread
by will-be-apostate ini am the poster who wrote the "confused in career choice.
" thread.
actually i forgot to change the title and thus i made some misunderstandings there.
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will-be-apostate
Thank you for the comments. I am happy that I found a member here who is pursuing chemical engineering. Billy, your comment did help me. I think I will do it.
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Confused in Career Choice 2 - The Real Thread
by will-be-apostate ini am the poster who wrote the "confused in career choice.
" thread.
actually i forgot to change the title and thus i made some misunderstandings there.
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will-be-apostate
Oh, don`t worry still thinking. Maybe someone else. It was hard to get my ideas in one place.
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Confused in career choice :( Please help!!
by will-be-apostate ini am new here as a member who posts.
i am a 18 years old boy, born in, baptized.
i read regularly the posts here on jwn.
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will-be-apostate
Thank you for all your answers. I think I will survive this period. I forget to change the title of the topic. originally I wanted to write about career choice and but the introduction turned to be longer than I wanted. :D
Here is the link to the post about my career choice.
Thank you again :)
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Confused in Career Choice 2 - The Real Thread
by will-be-apostate ini am the poster who wrote the "confused in career choice.
" thread.
actually i forgot to change the title and thus i made some misunderstandings there.
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will-be-apostate
Hi again.
I am the poster who wrote the "confused in career choice. Please help!!" thread. Actually I forgot to change the title and thus I made some misunderstandings there.(Here is the link to it) Now I am going to write what I wanted to write when started the other thread. Excuse me for the grammar mistakes. I know that it can be really annoying and I am working on my English grammar skills. I also had some issues with the tetx editor, there are no more editorial options beside putting an icon. I used an html editor then pasted the source and I don`t know whether it will work or not. I am using Google Chrome (also tried opera but it`s the same).
As I mentioned in my last post I am a 18 years old boy. Dad is MS, step-mother is regular pioneer, my mother is disfellowshipped. I live with my dad`s family but have a normal relationship with my mother. I visit her very often. Believe me, it was like a war between me and the elders but finally I succeeded getting them understand me. They got off my back. I told dad about my plans. He said he won`t hinder me in getting a degree in something but obviously he is not going to support me financially. I can understand this because hi barely earns enough money to support the family. My mother is much more opened. She will support me as much as she can. Her financial situation is a bit better than of my father. My dream is to move in Canada or UK or even in the USA and to live there. But first I want to have a qualification.
There is no adequate university institution for me in my town. I will have to move in a city that is 175 miles away. Tuition fees are much less than in the USA. Medical, pharmacy and dentist students pay about $2750 per year, engineering is $1000-1500 per year. Any other major is between these two number. This amount of money only represents the tuition fee, beside this you have to pay rent and food which is about $150-200 if you don`t want to live with 5 people in the same room. You may say that it is really cheap, however the average salary is $250 monthly for a full time worker.
Considering that I want to move in an other country I have to choose a career that will be good in Canada, for example. I am interested in many things: pharmacy, chemical engineering, film making, music, plants, 3D animation. From these I see pharmacy and chemical engineering as a well paying, in demand job. If there are any pharmacist or ChemEng here, please tell me what should I do. What career would you choose if you were me? You can mention any other field not only what I listed. I am afraid that it is very hard to get a job. Every employer is searching for experienced chemical engineers. I would get my BSc here, then would move and afterward nobody would hire me because of lack of experiences.
I have got three choices in connection with tuition fee:
- Working on summer breaks
- Having a part-time job
- After high school I could go to Germany or England or anywhere else to work 1-2 years to earn the amount of money that I need to pay the 4 year tuition fee.(it`s 4 year to get a BSc in chem eng)
I am really confused because I don`t want to waste 4 year of my life and then not to be employed. The last thing that I want to hear from my father is that: You see, the WTS told you not to waste you time. You got a degree and still haven`t got a job. What would you do if you could start again from my age? Medicine seems to me too hard and long. Chem eng is still hard but it takes less years but it`s not that sure that i will get a job. The other fields are much worse in this part. Finance careers are not for me. I would like to do something interesting. I can see myself having a radio show or being an actor. I know, I have to wake up. That`s why I see science as a more accessible career than the media. Anyway, thank you that you read this post. I did not want to bore anybody. :)
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Confused in career choice :( Please help!!
by will-be-apostate ini am new here as a member who posts.
i am a 18 years old boy, born in, baptized.
i read regularly the posts here on jwn.
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will-be-apostate
Hello for all. I am new here as a member who posts. I am a 18 years old boy, born in, baptized. I read regularly the posts here on JWN. It helped me a lot to make sure that Jehovah didn`t choose Stephen Lett and his pals in order to lead me. It was the end of the last summer when I came to this conclusion. I still attend to the meetings and go in field service because don`t want to hurt my parents. So sometimes the meetings do their jobs very well and then I feel not that uncertain/unsure. I never thought that after reading so many so called "apostate material" sometimes I still doubt my doubts. Ok, this was the introduction part, it doesn`t matter that much.
In addition: since I found out that the New World will never ever come, I will get old and die like my grandparents, that I will have to attend my parents funeral, that I will never meet again with the persons I lost or will lose, these were shocking things. I really believed everything. I have been a regular pioneer for 1 year 5 months. I had a lot duty, interviews etc. I had the respect of other jw teens, youngs, even the respect of the old ones.. just like most of you had. So it meant my life, it was my life. But I woke up thanks to JWN, jw-facts, and other sites.
I don`t really know yet which is worse, to be blind or to know the truth about the truth but being unable to do anything. I told dad that I no longer believe. I tried to bring up arguments but it was useless. Anyway, I am happy that I found this forum. When I feel bad I read some posts that make me laugh. Most of them do. However I noticed that people here are cynical and arrogant especially when the topic is about the elders, or the money of the WTS. I understand the sarcasm and I would lie if I said that I am different. But I can say that I had never have bad experience with the elders or other jws, and my jw mind always finds some pseudo-logical way to explain why certain things happen in that way in the org. But in the doctrinal part I found too many holes and illogical fails that I no longer believe..
A question like "How did Noah took back the polar bears to the South pole." And what drives me crazy is that when I ask myself such questions here comes my explanation: there must have been a big piece of ice that was blew away to the Red sea, then the bears "got in" and happy end. I know that the chance is less than 0.01 but i am thinking about this anyway and keep having doubts on the subject, don`t feel sure. :(
The worst is that I feel depressed, I feel like I can die in any minute. Before finding out that I`ve been misled I felt that I was immortal. Now when my mother drives the car, when she drives hundreds of miles alone, I always have the feeling that those are the last moments I spend with her, I mean the moments when I wish her a nice trip. I always remind her to fasten the seat belts. All day I am thinking about how old my parents will be in 2030 if they will be alive. I cry very often. (yeah, I am a guy, and 18). I try to think rational. Is this not true that we probably have 16000 more days in our life, or maybe less..16000 day, 384 000 hour.. it makes me so sad and desperate.
Life seems a lot of hurtful facts to me without the jw beliefs. It`s terrible. I still believe in God, I guess I do. Oh, by the way I am from Eastern Europe, from an ex-communist country. In the beginning of April i made some fun with the elders. I told the coordinator that not to forget reading the letter in 8 april about the mags and jw sites change :D They had no clue how the hell I knew such "confidential" information. I didnt get in trouble with them. In my cong they are ok. I told that I had access to the letter through a file sharing site and that maybe an ex-elder uploaded the pdf file. :D
The truth is that i would like to stand up at a meeting and start to convince them, to tell them what i have found out, I know it would be like suicide and the straight way to get disfellowshipped. I feel so sorry for my grandparents who got old with the new world hopes. I feel more sorry for my parents who are in the same situation. I feel somehow lucky, but paralyzed. I try to approach wordly people with a clear mind, because I know that they are normal. It is silly because my classmates behavior (flirt, drink, smoking, casual sex ad so on) many times still make me angry. It is silly because i want to do those things too(exceptt for smoking) but cannot due to the communism inside of `Jehovah`s organisation`.
I would like to have a girlfriend but I cant until i dont move from the country. Jw girlfriend I dont want, it is clear. The beautiful ones either get disfellowshipped for sex or dont even get beptized.. I think you know what the pattern is. In conclusion I feel worse now than when I was blind and been misled.
But feel a kind of free.. maybe the truth set me free a little bit. Thanks to you who read it.