Definitely not. I didn't think I would survive, even as a kid. I thought I was a bad person and would be destroyed. It's very sad to think about how I felt then, and occasionally I feel that way for a minute or two, like when I go to church and stuff, but I know it's not true.
lilbluekitty
JoinedPosts by lilbluekitty
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50
When you were active, did you feel you would survive Armageddon?
by Band on the Run ini am curious about this issue.
personally, i never felt i would be good enough for a split second.
one would think that knowing you can not be good enough to survive would it make it easier to leave the witnesses and live for the present.
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7
Hypocrite much?
by lilbluekitty inso my mom and i have an odd relationship.
we live 2,000 or so miles apart and seem to have a better relationship now that we're so far apart.
we call each other fairly often on the phone.. last month, i got a pretty sweet christmas-y pottery barn catalog with gorgeous ornaments in it.
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lilbluekitty
So my mom and I have an odd relationship. We live 2,000 or so miles apart and seem to have a better relationship now that we're so far apart. We call each other fairly often on the phone.
Last month, I got a pretty sweet Christmas-y Pottery Barn catalog with gorgeous ornaments in it. I called my mom and asked her if she got her catalog yet and we gushed for quite awhile about how gorgeous the ornaments were. But get this, my mom is a 2nd generation JW! Not only that, even though she's a woman, she has a pretty high administrative position in the RBC (quick builds, she attends special meetings and works on a laptop in one of the trailers at builds, and also loves to brag about it.) At the end of the conversation, she sobered up and said to me, "You're not going to decorate a tree are you?" I was taken aback since I WAS in fact going to decorate my first tree ever and was going to go shopping for it that week! I couldn't bring myself to tell her so I simply asked her, "Why would you ask me something like that?" because she had been appalled at the fact my father called me an apostate when I told him I was "spiritually digging" and later, when I told him I believe the Holy Spirit is a person, not a magical force. She dropped it after that.
Today we were talking about music, Josh Groban in particular, because she likes his music. I asked if she had heard "O Holy Night" by him, since that's her secret guilty pleasure, she's always loved that song and even sang it when it came on the radio. (She was born-in, like me.) She got all quiet. I said, isn't it a beautiful song, and there's nothing scripturally wrong with it. She said, I know it's beautiful, that's why I can't listen to it anymore. I was like, what? She refused to talk about it and went on to "You Raise Me Up" which is rather religious-sounding to me. The other day I had emailed her the Chipmunks song where one of them says "Me, I want a hula hoop" as part of some Christmas song they do that always made my mom and I giggle as JWs and even sing it in the car. She emailed me back and said, Oh how cute or something. But today she won't even discuss O Holy Night, which she used to say was such a lovely song!
Do any of you have parents or relatives or whatever who are hypocritical like this? We always had a turkey on Thanksgiving, we just didn't call it that. We always had all the trimmings. We had costume parties instead of Halloween. On our birthdays my mom would tell my sister and I about the day we were born. But if I discuss something, after awhile she gets all bent out of shape and tries to deny that she likes this or that which JWs can't do. It's sickening.
Oh, and I'm not worried about being DF'd (I refuse to meet with any elders if they try to contact me) or about being labelled an apostate, since I already have been by my dad and sister, in case anyone thinks I'm treading on thin ice. =P
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12
I went home to visit my sister today...
by fallen_princess ini haven't posted on here much recently but i thought out of everything that has happened since my husband and i together left the jw's, this was tame enough and not as drama-laden enough to share.... i have been married and out of the house for only about a year and a half, and since then, i have not been attending meetings after learning the truth about the "truth".
of course, i have caught flack for it but my family is on this new passive-aggressive kick; trying to guilt me about leaving without actually outwardly saying anything.. today, my sister (the new young regular pioneer) invited me (the apostate) over to my mother's house to hang out and maybe watch a movie.
i was responsible for picking the movie.
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lilbluekitty
Oh, and as for me, I've been givng more and more hints and clues to the fact that I don't want to be a dub anymore to my family and so some of them have been giving me the cold shoulder, the others are totally in my face about going to meetings and crap, telling me what the Bible reading is for the week or emailing me the day's text. It's pretty darn annoying.
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I went home to visit my sister today...
by fallen_princess ini haven't posted on here much recently but i thought out of everything that has happened since my husband and i together left the jw's, this was tame enough and not as drama-laden enough to share.... i have been married and out of the house for only about a year and a half, and since then, i have not been attending meetings after learning the truth about the "truth".
of course, i have caught flack for it but my family is on this new passive-aggressive kick; trying to guilt me about leaving without actually outwardly saying anything.. today, my sister (the new young regular pioneer) invited me (the apostate) over to my mother's house to hang out and maybe watch a movie.
i was responsible for picking the movie.
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lilbluekitty
My uncle left the JWs for about 8 months or so, so my aunt and grandmother overcompensated and probably drew him away more from the JWs. Unfortunately, they got him back (he had converted to being a dub in his late 20s or early 30s, apparently opened the door with a "doobie" (his words) in his mouth and was so high he took whatever book or mags he recieved and then later read them and decided to become a dub, then married my aunt probably after only being baptized for a year. Anyway, they got totally in his face spiritual on him (and if I had been more out then, I would have tried to talk to him, hopefully to keep him out, but unfortunately I didn't start surfing this site til he come back into the lie. Supposedly he went to his first meeting back and cried during the Washtowel study. I sooo wish I could turn him but the thing is, I don't want to be the one responsible for doing that, and possibly ruining my aunt and uncle's marriage. =/
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Marginal Notes in the 'Shepherd the Flock of God'
by Londo111 inelders of the jeroboam/conscious class, .
it is my understanding, correct me if i am wrong, that during the km school, the instructors have elders write notes in the margins of the shepherd book, notes that legal does not want in print, and perhaps by extension, extra tidbits they don't want leaked to the public and/or average witness.. .
can you share some of these from the latest km school?.
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lilbluekitty
I'd be very interested, if anyone has it and wants to PM me. Thanks.
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What do you NOT want for Christmas?
by FlyingHighNow inwhat do you not want this year?
what is on your do not buy me this for christmas list?
i do not want anything from the jane seymour open hearts collection..
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lilbluekitty
I'm really hoping I don't get more lotions this year. My SILs always give me lotion and I'm tired of that stuff! I have probably a gallon of lotion if you put all the bottles together LOL. I'd pretty much take any other gifts I get this year though.
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When You See A Witness What's Your First Reaction?
by minimus ini saw a few mindlessly working a neighborhood as i was driving the other day.
they looked so unhappy, just walking in baby steps, looking like zombies..
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lilbluekitty
The Homer Simpson scream is my first reaction, then, "oh crap do they know me and am I wearing something holiday-related? Am I wearing my cross necklace? Do they see it? Oh crap." LOL.
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Weird JW Dreams
by MrFreeze ini think it's a given that most of us who have left, have had dreams about still being jw's or doing jw related things, even years after we left.
i had one of those last night.
it involved getting a hotel for the next district convention and then it skipped ahead to when i was attending.
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lilbluekitty
Even as a JW I've had weird or upsetting JW dreams. This recurring one I have sometimes is that I'm missing my clothing sitting in the back of the KH not realizing i have no clothes on and suddenly this one particular elder is up on stage giving the public talk but he's dressed either as a rabbi (he's Jewish by nationality) or as a Muslim and pointing at me and tellling the congregation to do away with me (his words) and KILL THE EVILDOER FOR SHE IS SUCH A HARLOT THAT SHE WEARS NO CLOTHING!!! and so on.
Or it's dreams of various JCs or elders meetings that I'm forced to be at for comitting some terrible crime but they won't tell me what it is and then Armageddon comes and then I get struck by fire and then wake up.
Other than that I just get panic attacks at night thinking the devil's going to come after me or something, something crazy like that. I've only been out a few months now, I hope it gets better soon.
Funny thing though? I never have nightmares about church now that I've been going for a month now =P
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The Angry Stage
by EmptyInside inwhen i started posting here,i wasn't angry or bitter.
i had not been through a jc.
and i wondered why some here couldn't let go of the anger.. but,after reading what many have gone through,because of the relgion,i understand.
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lilbluekitty
I'm going through that phase off and on, not as much about how some of you (and I) were treated, though that is enough to piss me off royally, but my issue is the lies we were told that we were lead to believe and how corrupt the organization really is and that I couldn't fully see it until I was finally out for good and even then it took me a few months. I'm angry that I didn't see it clearly right away and that even if I could have, I wouldn't have been able to get out of the cult because I would have been a child then and therefore forced into it. I also wish I could have seen the truth about the lies when I was 18 instead of almost 27 because yes, I'm angry about the years that were wasted, and the years of deep depression I could have avoided by getting the heck outta dodge.
But, as I said, this phase is more off and on, it doesn't affect me all day every day, just once in awhile I get pretty upset, then it fades again and I realize it's not worth being upset about.
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Please Post Reasons For Not Believing The Witnesses Have The "Truth" Anymore
by minimus ini see a few want to believe in the watchtower's view of bible prophecy, scriptural understandings and the view that the "anointed remnant" dispense the "spiritual food at the proper time".. how would you refute those views?.
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lilbluekitty
If they are supposedly a spirt-directed organization, that is, an organization directed by God's Holy Spirit, then why so many doctrinal changes? They will tell you the light gets brighter. But why would the Holy Spirit lead them to something incorrect when God "cannot tell a lie"? "I am Jehovah, I have not changed"? Why the changes? Why the flip-flops? Why the outright lies? The Holy Spirit would not lead people to a lie, therefore the organization can not have the Holy Spirit directing them, simple as that. The apostles had the Holy Spirit and they believed Jesus to be the only way to salvation but JWs believe you must "obey the faithful and discreet slave class" to be saved. Why would the Holy Spirit lie to the apostles? Again, simple, it/he (whichever you believe) wouldn't.