Dear Darkknight and wife, I am truly sorry to hear of your situation. I can empathize with your overwhelming desire to be parents. I suffered almost 13 years of infertility. The testing, charting, major surgery, fertility drugs, failed adoption, took a terrible toll physically, emotionally, and financially. Month after endless month of disappointment, frustration, depression until........ I gave up ...... and got a job I really enjoyed and my husband decided he no longer wanted children.
Of course, THEN I became pregnant. I was beyond overjoyed and my husband ruined the news by being furious. Husband eventually softened his stance and I gave birth to a healthy beautiful boy.
A few months later we tried for a second child. This time BINGO success first month! The joy was short lived though, as I miscarried twins at 10 1/2 weeks. Of course, I was heartbroken, but at least I had my baby to ease the sting.
18 months later we had a beautiful healthy daughter. No more children were desired and no more came along. Fast forward 15 years ... a divorce straight from hell, two devastated teenagers, my dearest relative died, I remarried Baalamsass, the kids HATED him and moved 5 hours away with their criminal father and his roomate (who was charged with having sex with his handicapped stepdaughter) while we were on our honeymoon. Son and daughter got in serious trouble while I watched helplessly- the trainwreck. (authorities said the kids were old enough to consent!!!???)
Then at age 21 my son moved back with me and was doing great. Until that day(a couple of months later) that changed my life as much as the joyous news of my pregnancy. "++++++ died in an accident this afternoon".