paulmolark, I'm glad you went into more detail about your childhood, her letters her slander etc. It flushed out her character or should I say lack of it. It made me ponder my and hubby's parents who had many things in common with yours.
One of the conclusions I came to is that this phone call was a result of her wanting to APPEAR to the audience she had in her house that she was taking the high road to invite you back to the borg. The truth is she was using the occasion to intentionally publicly humiliate you. She knew full well you would have a negative reaction to her call. She wanted to use that to garner SYMPATHY from the crowd. Poor me. my child is such a bad JW, is neglectful, mean, yada yada.
How do I know this? Hubby and I had dealt with mothers with similar pathology. It's a form of Munchausen's syndrome for attention and sympathy. They frequently would save their cutting remarks, put downs, and embarrassing stories for the Kingdom hall, the family, even strangers. If they run out of insults they use out and out lies. They love the DRAMA.They get some sort of sick pleasure watching your public humiliation.
my 2 cents from a fellow survivor.