Chubby Hubby perfect, Aunt Connie. Your posts are a scream!
rubadubdub
JoinedPosts by rubadubdub
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20
Please Hear My Confession, I lied to all my friends in the Kingdom Hall! Forgiveness needed!
by AuntConnie ini ask for the forgiveness of all the brothers and sisters who heard me lie and lie and lie about how my husband lost all his weight!
please make room in your heart to forgive me, it's rare i will open up myself to the scrutiny of jehovah's witnesses net message board, i try not to reveal too many things about my life.
i come from a fleshly family that is screwed up, we learned from youth how to use theocratic warfare even with other jehovah's witnesses asking innocent questions.
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25
JW Wife complications
by manda63 inhi, my wife became a jw about 25 years ago and at the time while it all sounded crazy to me but i could see not wrong and have no problem with people having a religion , it started to become apparent that her choice of religion was almost cult like with all the controls in place.
we no longer have a social life together as she will only be with clan members not wordly people and i have stopped going round to her friends houses for get togethers becouse i am sick to death of being questioned and mocked about my beliefs,hearing other religion being called so harsh,wordly people being talked about as if scum and all the other haughty talk.
i am not allowed any material in the house that might be apostate,satanic?
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rubadubdub
Manda63, Welcome to the forum. I'm sorry to hear another marriage is under tremendous strain because of the WT. I was in your wive's shoes-- raised in from age 9. My husband was a raised in from age 5. He faded 30 years before I walked away. I am not saying this to discourage you, just to let you know that there is always hope. I was an all-in JW for 42 years of my life. My husband and I had a similar agreement. I kept my "publications" to myself, and he kept his "spiritistic", spooky stuff for a JW at his office.
As everyone has said, continue loving your wife. No matter how many times the elders gave me the "absolute spiritual endangerment" get out of jail free card, it always came down to loving my husband and sticking with him-- not always an easy thing for either of us, but we made it work.
I, too, had a very difficult time witnessing to wives at the door. I mentioned it to an elder, saying I didn't want to put anyone through the same pain I had living in a "divided household." His answer, "At least she would have Jehovah.", as he walked away. I didn't buy the "overlapping generation" crap of 2010, but I was still stuck in the cult. It took another year. It just hit me like a ton of bricks. I could't stant to hear them say my kids were going to die one more time. I walked out of that meeting in mid-May confused, somehow knowing I wasn't going to be a JW anymore. Two weeks later another glimmer of hope happened on a sailboat charter vacation, away from meetings, Bible study, service, etc., I had the thought, "I wonder what my life would be like if I could just live in a tee shirt and shorts, no shoes, no dresses, no meetings, no books, no nothing-- just the wind in my face?" It happened so fast, but I remember it 'til this day. I didn't go to another meeting until the District Convention July 1-3. I was an outsider looking in. It felt like the Stepford wifes. I was done.
Get your wife away from the meetings as much as possible. Do fun things together. Try new things. Tell her you love her, and show her. Don't give up. Use Steven Hasaan's methods. They can work over time. You have a great advantage in having this forum and others. My hubby didn't have the Internet. Maybe if he had, I would have gotten out sooner. It doesn't matter now, because our nuclear family is out and free. My 86 year old in-laws are still in, but have no idea I left. It's easy to fog them as they live 500 miles away They shun my husband and my kids. Our Kids are grown, so there is really little need to visit.
I wish you all the best in keeping your marriage happy and stron and getting your wife out of this very dangerous, mind control cult.
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who signed your blood card?
by losingit intwo elders in my congregation signed mine bc hubby couldn't bear the repercussions of either 1- saving my life by allowing the blood transfusion, which would probably lead to him being df'd, and 2- me dying bc he did not allow the blood transfusion and having my parents call him a murderer.. isn't that so nice?
when i most wanted him to represent me, he didn't have the guts, even hypothetically.... so, who signed your blood card?.
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rubadubdub
Two elders signed my “Non-Blood Medical Management” card. Neither would agree to call my long-faded hubby in case of an emergency. That didn’t sit right with me, so I added “Please call my husband @ phone number.)
I then wrote to the Legal Department in Brooklyn, explaining that I wanted to add a statement that my Health Care Agents were to ONLYmake decisions regarding the use of blood. My hubby would make any and all other health-care decisions. They didn’t answer the letter for a year, so I sent a copy of the original letter, saying I still needed an answer. A brother from the legal department at Bethel called me at home one afternoon. Guess they wanted to see if I was a nut job, an “apostate” or maybe they just didn’t want to put anything it writing. He said it was fine, by that time I had already added the clause.
When I walked away, I tore up every copy of my card I could get my hands on, and we went to a lawyer and re-drafted all our legal documents, stating that the new documents superseded any and all previously executed documents, just in case some rouge elder decided to pull out a copy of my previously signed death wish.
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JW's planning for retirement
by FirstLastName ini had an interesting discussion with a jw family member recently and he brought up his plans for retirement.
according to his age bracket, this will not be for another 20 years or so.
he plans to buy land, build a house, move the parents nearby.
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rubadubdub
I have heard of so many older ones, including a retiring C.O. and his wife, that have to move in with their children. Retiring dubs moving into their kid's basement or an in-law apartment. My FIL, now in his mid-eighties, was the congregation secretary, P.O., conducted the Book Study and led field service from his home for decades and was on the RBC. He is saddened by the loss of "privileges" as he has aged, but remains "loyal to Jehovah".
All the while though, he went about getting a college degree to teach, built a huge home for himself and my MIL and built over 30 rental properties. He has told my husband clearly that they are just fine. "Everything is taken care of." They don't want or need any help from us. They told my husband that he is written out of the will, as he has "left Jehovah". The WBT$ takes all. They have stated that they "don't believe in taking care of adult children." Case closed.
This man did everything he was required to do and still prepared for retirement. At least they won't be a burden on us. I have been my mom's primary caregiver for over 15 years, and it's a tough road.
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46
What gives you away as a (former) JW?
by perfect1 inthese days my jw past stay safely under wraps from nearly everyone.. i dont dig it up- and i see no need to talk about it with anyone.. sometimes i feel as if my past is a large and terrible secret, and i will be found out eventually.
people can sense i am different.
i never talk about my family.. i guess people chalk it up to being a private person or let me be a mystery.. however, there is one thing that i feel completely reveals me as having been raised a jehovahs witness:.
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rubadubdub
I don't know my 7 siblings' birthdays! Seriously, my mother's health care aide asked me, so mom can send cards (she has dementia and can't remember), and I just don't know. Some of them are on Face Book, so that helps, but I have no idea what to buy them.
I watched a few gift wrapping YouTube videos, so I don't waste a whole roll of wrapping paper for one gift (progress), but I still like sticking some tissue paper in a pretty gift bag.
I downloaded an app on my android phone, so I don't miss any majoy holidays.
I have two people other than my husband that I would count as my friends (working on that).
I do un-witness to perfect strangers. Warning, Danger, Danger Will Robinson!
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24
Just when I thought it was over I get a phone call
by label licker inone of the families in the hall called me last night and let another piece of the puzzle out.
apparently there was another family that we don't even know who had gotton a phone call from these jerk off elders down here questioning them about us and what they knew.
(anything negative).
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rubadubdub
It's clearly a witch hunt you will not win. So sorry that you have family still in, but as you know by now, their love is only conditional love. If you are inactive, the truly indoctrinated will shun you anyway. You are already "marked" as bad association.
I would not call Bethel. Why fight to stay when they want to boot you out? If I got an invitation to a JC, I, too, would DA myself threatening a lawsuit if they ever contact me again.
Just my .02
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Is my Judicial Commitee Guided by Holy Spirit?
by 70wksfyrs ini am a newbie to ttatt.
i have been reading your posts for a few months and joined in a few times.
thank you so much for taking the time to write you experiences it really helps us newly awakened ones.. so here is my story........ my name is 70wksfyrs and me and my kids are victims of domestic violence at the hands of a so called jw.
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rubadubdub
Welcome 70wksfyears! Sorry you have suffered abuse because of the WT. Glad you have learned TTATT and have found this site!
No, no holy spirit going on in any part of the KH or any part of this man-made organization for that matter.
Would you like to tell us more about yourself, so we can get to know you better?
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103
Quick Poll - How many are...
by mrhhome inhow many here are (a) ex-jw, (b) non-jw with jw relatives or spouses, (c) inactive jw, or (d) active jw who stay in for your own reasons?.
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rubadubdub
Walked away over two years ago-- technically "inactive", but definately an ex-JW
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13
The AGM is to be broadcast in Australia too.
by Julia Orwell insome 'apostate' jw friends of mine told me.. this must gonna be some big news.
anyone heard it?
i'd dearly love to know what they're going to come up with next.
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rubadubdub
Well we are 19 hours a head of New York so we have to get it the day before it's given...lol
Yes, Julia, we can do an GT check every morning. If it didn't start in Austrailia yet, we're good to go here!
Mindnumbed: "Governing buddies" and Phizzy: "Noo S/Light" Thanks for my morning chuckle.
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40
Now I'm not a JW, is it ok for me to...
by Julia Orwell in...drink a lot?
gosh i love wine.
i like a good bottle of wine each night, and i have a high tolerance to alcohol, though i never drank much (except for a couple of times with the vodka, but i don't keep that stuff in the house anymore, way too dangerous) as a jw because getting slightly happy is a 'sin'.
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rubadubdub
"Thanks for the info. I'm making an effort to cut back, without reference to JWs. I want to cut back for my own health. While it's nice to have a drink after dinner, it's also nice not to wake up feeling woozy."
Julia, I've been following this thread, and yes, it is very brave of you to ask, and it has nothing to to with being an ex-JW and everything to do with you. Have you factored in your family history? There are 4 generations of alcoholics/addicts (that I know of) in my family. Alcohol dependence and alcoholism are all very scary to me, as well as prescription drug abuse. Self-medication is dangerous. Mixing alcohol and Rx meds can be a lethal combination.
If you are having after effects from your drinking the next morning, you do have a problem. If you try to reduce your drinking and can't, you do have a problem. Please read this article. There is physical dependence as well as psycholocial dependence. Be honest with yourself and get professional help, if you need it.
http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/alcohol-abuse/alcohol-abuse-and-dependence-topic-overview
Also, whatever you do, don't go from one cult into another. There have been threads on JWN about AA. It helps some, I suppose, but sadly, it has never helped a single memeber of my family.
Hugs!