Gregg,
May you be at peace,
May your heart remain open,
May you know the beauty of your own true nature,
And may you be a source of healing for others.
--Buddhist prayer
Take good care of yourself and your children! Don't give up!
rubadubdub
JoinedPosts by rubadubdub
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54
Our family wishes to extend our sympathies to Gregg [Greybeard from JWStruggle]...
by Newly Enlightened ingregg, we are deeply sorry for your loss.
you will be with us in our thoughts & prayers.
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AAWA is here!! (The Association of Anti-Watchtower Activists)
by cedars inhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fcic4g5tulw.
http://www.jwactivists.org.
facebook the association of anti-watchtower activists.
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rubadubdub
I like Flipper's suggestion: "Safe Haven & Outreach for Exiting JW's". Keep the AAWA name, but add a subtitle? Just a thought.
Posted your YouTube video to my Facebook page (local dubs weeded out and blocked preemptively! Would like to know how I can help while still keeping a low profile while my dub-in-laws are still with us.
Great Mission Statement!
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LURKING JW: Thinking of leaving? Learn from my experience.
by SnakesInTheTower in"mental wondering in the wilderness"... uh oh.... it's a long post from snakes.... lol.
yep... i think that is the best way to describe where i am at in life right now.
if you have read my past posts (mostly in the private section) you know some of my history as a life-long (now former) witness.. i have been away from the jw religion, for all intents and purposes, since dec. 06, though it was not until sept 07 that i stopped attending meetings.
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rubadubdub
His Excellency, thanks for bumping this thread!
In 2009 Snakes in the Tower wrote:
If you are currently an active Witness but thinking of walking away from the Organization, understand that if you leave that you need to be prepared to go through a rough road . Have a support system in place BEFORE you walk away . Make some "worldly" friends at work or somewhere;, find a therapist if you can; get close to non-JW family...people that you may have looked down on before...people you can talk with....you will need all of them and more to get you through the mental anguish that follows you...especially if you were raised as a JW. It's harder to do after you leave. If you don't you end up being in a "no man's land" for a time. The more time you have invested as a JW, the harder it may be.
People who were as involved as I was in the Watchtower Organization do not just get to "walk away" from the Organization. "Something" must be wrong. The rank and file witnesses can smell it as surely as the smell of death (and that is a smell you never forget) and run the other way.
Snakes, you what you said years ago is still so true. Spot on. I wish I had read this before I walked away. I make a cold, clean break from the WTB$ with no preparaton whatsoever, and I suffered the consequence. No support system, not a single non-JW friend. Unable to reconnect with Non-JW totally dysfunctional family (The Trifecta: mental illness, alcoholism, drug addiction-- The Perfect Storm). Working part-time from home for our family business (my active dub life was a part-time job in and of itself, and I had been my mother's primary caregiver for nearly 12 years at that point (with no family support.) Severe, recurrent clinical depression reared its ugly head after a brief elation upon my exit. I also have PTSD, in part due to the fear-mongering of the early '70s leading up to 1975, but not all dub related.
I had 42 years of my life invested. I raised myself in The Lie from age nine; no other family members go sucked in. I married in The Lie. Raised two children in The Lie. I did end up in "no man's land" for a time, and it was exceedingly lonely and painful. Now 19 months later, I am so much better! Today I had a recheck with my cardiologist. I literally came to death's door due to my exit. I was so depressed that I went back on medicaton. I was having severe adverse side-effects and my M.D. kept increasing the dose, saying I needed to stick with it just a bit longer and my body would adjust. I ended up in the hospital due to being over-medicated. My cholesterol numbers had always been high, but the stress in my life had driven them through the roof. My EKG is still not back to normal even though it has nearly been a year, but my cholesterol numbers have settled; and my cardiologist is happy with the percentages. But the great part about today's visit-- my cardiologist said, "I nearly walked out of the room, I didn't recognize you! You look so different, so much more relaxed and well. What has changed?" I told him everything has changed. I explained that I had been a Jdub for 42 years and had left. I told him that I am now a volunteer literacy tutor and love it. That I am practicing yoga and meditation and I am currently in therapy and benefiting from it for the first time in my life, because I can freely talk about what is really bothering me instead of trying to protect the image of an organization. He said that he sees the same hight levels of stress in the Orthodox Jewish community. (He is Jewish.) He said that the unattainable expectations and standards drive people to the brink. He expressed how very happy he was for me. He asked about exercise, and I told him I just fell in love with kayaking, and my husband has ordered one and it is on the way. He said, "Kayaking is great exercise; I wouln't change a thing. See you in a year!" I love being on the water and in the sun! There will be room for my dog in my kayak (she has a life jacket already for sailing). I have a waterproof camera, so I will enjoy my love of photography while we are puddle jumping. Also, I walk my dog every day, something I never had the time to do as a dub. I would just tie her out. My father and grandmother both died of heart disease at aged 54. I am going to be 55 in July. I'm not certain I would still be here, if I had not let The Lie. I was clearly dying inside. I'm glad I walked away. I just wish I was more prepared for what I was up against. So if any lurkers are reading this, please listen to Snakes. He was right years ago, and he is still right today! -
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Getting serious for Julia!!
by Julia Orwell inno, there's no jc scheduled for me, though i've heard from a friend on the boe that the inquisitor is about to get inquisited himself.
you will see who i mean in this thread: .
http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/246766/1/julias-inquisition-two-elders-the-full-version-i-want-you-all-to-see-this.
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rubadubdub
Londo111 Wrote:
Run! Claim you were stumbled if they do manage to contact you.
PistOff Wrote:
Hang in there, Julia; don’t admit anything, don’t show fear, keep everything light, happy and neutral.
Comatose Wrote:
Life if you have to.
Julia, I'm sorry things have come to this. Londo111's advice to Run! is spot on. I was contacted daily in one form or another for a full five months when I first walked away. After an initial brief phone conversation (fishing expedition) with one elder, I avoided all contact and did not engage them at all.
When, months later that same elder showed up on my doorstep unannounced. I invited him inside my front door only because he was alone, and it was raining. My intent was having a fluffy conversation and throwing down the mental health card. He started by asking how my "sabbatical" was going. I laughed. Told him I was still dealing with PSTD, clinical depression issues and family issues (Mom). He knew the deal. I changed the subject and asked about his family. I assured him I knew how to contact each of the elders, and would contact them if I needed to. They have not contacted me in a year (other than a text message from the CoBOE inquiring of my safety when I was under mandatory evacuation orders. My response: Polite and to the point.
This plan has worked for me: Run! Show no fear. Throw down whatever card works for you (you seem to have plenty to choose from!) Keep it light. Only speak to an elder if he is alone. Thank you and good-bye.
If you do choose to meet with them, I reiterate what another poster said, your hubby must be there! And what Comatose said, "Lie if you have to." They feel free to use "Theocratice Warfare, so game on.
It would take a lot of nerve to pull off PunkofNice's plan. It's gold, pure gold! Love the way you think Punk!
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Why I Stayed Married to my "Apostate" Husband for 30 Years. Help for those whose marriages are in trouble now that you have left The Lie.
by rubadubdub ini have to say i am surprised and am quite saddened to hear how many jdub marriages fall apart when one partner becomes an "unbelieving mate" or even an "apostate.
" i thought i might post my thoughts on my thinking process during the time my hubby, bethelyellowdollarbag, in my jdub thinking moved along the path from an "unbelieving mate" to an "apostate" over the course of 30 years before i finally woke up to ttatt.
"-1 corinthians 10:13.. *** it-1 p. 126 apostasy ***.
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rubadubdub
BluesBrother wrote:
I am appalled at the attitude of many board member's wives who want to leave them when they renounce the WTS. That goes totally against scripture and official teaching of the B'org....Whatever happened to Christian values? Your comments about marriage and commitment are spot-on correct.
I am glad that you were won over to the truth ....and not the other way around !
Thank you for your support! The trend I saw was appalling to me as well, and that is why I gave thought to how I might speak up about it. I mulled it over for a few days, and then started typing. The result is what flowed from my fingers with little editing or revision. I wish you all the best in keeping your marriage together and winning over your wife to TTATT!
Rubbity
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SONG: Could I Live With This?
by abilenetexas inone of my favorite songwriters is chip taylor, jon voight's younger brother who is best known for writing the songs wild thing and angel of the morning.
chip wrote a gorgeous song called could i live with this which, i feel, epitomizes the whole group-think dilemma faced by jws.
i have printed the lyrics below, and shared a youtube link to a performance of the song by chip and lucinda williams.
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rubadubdub
abilenetexas, Thanks for the gift! I listened to the song and loved it!
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Part 2 of the 2013 Conti and Simons interview now on YouTube (questions posed by JWN members)
by cedars inpart 2 of the interview series has now been uploaded to youtube.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmewxug3kck.
for those who are unfamiliar, this is the second part of a series of videos covering an interview with candace conti and rick simons where the questions were posed by members of this forum.. questions answered in this video are.... .
(to rick, asked by hoffnung) why was watch tower bible & tract society of pennsylvania, together with more watchtower corporations, not sued as well?.
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rubadubdub
I have been trying to follow the Candace Conti case as well as Steven Unthank's work in Australia. If memory serves me (and please forgive me if this question has been asked and answered or if I have my facts wrong), the original judgement was for 28 million dollars. That judgement was reduced to $17 million dollars by agreement between the parties. How is it that the WTB$ can get a settlement and reduction of the damages awarded and still have the legal recourse of an appeal. It just doesn't make sense to me. How can they have it both ways? Can someone explain the judicial process here?
Thanks, Rubbity
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Why I Stayed Married to my "Apostate" Husband for 30 Years. Help for those whose marriages are in trouble now that you have left The Lie.
by rubadubdub ini have to say i am surprised and am quite saddened to hear how many jdub marriages fall apart when one partner becomes an "unbelieving mate" or even an "apostate.
" i thought i might post my thoughts on my thinking process during the time my hubby, bethelyellowdollarbag, in my jdub thinking moved along the path from an "unbelieving mate" to an "apostate" over the course of 30 years before i finally woke up to ttatt.
"-1 corinthians 10:13.. *** it-1 p. 126 apostasy ***.
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rubadubdub
mamochan13 wrote:
your story and the various comments got me wondering if we may soon see the Borg suggesting that marriage to an apostate actually provides grounds for divorce. They could argue spiritual adultery, absolute spiritual endangerment, etc. It already breaks up many, many marriages, so I think the R&F would accept it.
mamochan13, Sadly, I think your idea has potential for becoming a reality. Staying married to an "Apostate" makes no sense in the dub theology.
mamochan13 also wrote:
Your post made me think about a lot of the hell I put him through because of my stupid, intolerant beliefs. He didn't oppose my religion, in fact, allowed me to raise his daughter in it during the years we were together. But the religion and the toll DFing took on our marriage finally wore things down irrevokably.
mamochan13, I honestly wonder how the hell we have stayed married for nearly 35 years given the circumstances, the bOrg interference, the trauma and the differences in our temperments and thinking. The only thing I can say is neither one of us ever compleatly gave up on the other. We had built a life and family together that neither one of us was willing to walk away from for any length of time. This is not to say that there were not times that we were temporarily separated. There were times that I just could not cope, and the only skill I learned from my alcoholic father was to run away; when things get tough, the tough get going. But when I had the time to process what was going on, and hubby didn't give up on me, I always came back home. He is my home. I would forgive the grievence (and some of them were huge), and he would forgive the running away, which hurt him tremendously.
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Why I Stayed Married to my "Apostate" Husband for 30 Years. Help for those whose marriages are in trouble now that you have left The Lie.
by rubadubdub ini have to say i am surprised and am quite saddened to hear how many jdub marriages fall apart when one partner becomes an "unbelieving mate" or even an "apostate.
" i thought i might post my thoughts on my thinking process during the time my hubby, bethelyellowdollarbag, in my jdub thinking moved along the path from an "unbelieving mate" to an "apostate" over the course of 30 years before i finally woke up to ttatt.
"-1 corinthians 10:13.. *** it-1 p. 126 apostasy ***.
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rubadubdub
jgnat wrote:
I might add that in the convoluted thinking of the Witnesses, hubby has justified our marriage as a compromise. He knows he might have given up his chance for eternal life in paradise, and has reconciled that his short time here on earth with me is enough.
Convoluted reasoning of the brainwashed, jgnat! I hope my thinking and reasoning while I was still in and since I have left can help you put a lilttle chink in your hubby's armor!
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Why I Stayed Married to my "Apostate" Husband for 30 Years. Help for those whose marriages are in trouble now that you have left The Lie.
by rubadubdub ini have to say i am surprised and am quite saddened to hear how many jdub marriages fall apart when one partner becomes an "unbelieving mate" or even an "apostate.
" i thought i might post my thoughts on my thinking process during the time my hubby, bethelyellowdollarbag, in my jdub thinking moved along the path from an "unbelieving mate" to an "apostate" over the course of 30 years before i finally woke up to ttatt.
"-1 corinthians 10:13.. *** it-1 p. 126 apostasy ***.
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rubadubdub
jgnat wrote:
I want my hubby to have a rich life and to reach the full potential of who he can be. The Watchtower in our bedroom puts a strain on intimacy. The constant invitations to join him in service is a pain.
And your here to get ammunition ?
I don't treat information like bullets. I support the "unbelieving mate" community and I collect ideas and thoughts that work.
jgnat, Nicely said. The flip flops on bedroom rules was on my list of grievances!