i apologize for not writing much of anything in several weeks.. did you miss me?
(don't answer that!).
i am doing pretty good now after going through the worst year of my 60 years of life... but in order to make some changes that will enable me to keep working, i really had to take time off to take care of medical issues (mostly my spine - destroyed after 30 years spending 10-12 hours a day on the computer).
Great to hear from you Randy! Your articles on Free Minds were some of the first I thrived on upon first getting out. It was so great to get the reinforcement of what I had been a part of of but never really understood. Hang tough and keep fighting the real "fine fight"!
No Regrets
im not talking about simply being reinstated.
i remember hearing a story about a brother that was disfellowshipped because of the testimony of two false witnesses.
years passed before they admitted to lying about the brother and was reinstated.. what is policy in this sort of situation?
I just want to comment that I knew Flipper went through a lot, but him willing to retell his story to others needs some real admiration. That had to be such a traumatic and drawn out process and I just want to say thanks for sharing your story! You are one of the kindest posters on the board and deserve a shout out! I really admire and second all that 00Dad said! NR
so where do you start?.
i've been reading peoples experiences for several months now trying to figure out what i want to say but how do you put your whole life into a few words?.
i was a born in but have been happy and free for 5 years and luckily for me my husband felt the same way and we have freed our children from being brainwashed.
Hello to you both! Like the two of you, my wife and I were married at 18 and seem to have beat the odds (married 13 years now and counting). First, your story about the briefcase made us both smile. That was awesome! Second, congratulations on having the awareness to listen to your heart and conscience and not allow your child to be sacrificed in the name of the Governing Body. You are both so lucky to have gotten out and it's so great you made the right choice in letting your precious child have the blood needed to live!
Congratulations on breaking through the brainwashing, and please post often!
NR
im not talking about simply being reinstated.
i remember hearing a story about a brother that was disfellowshipped because of the testimony of two false witnesses.
years passed before they admitted to lying about the brother and was reinstated.. what is policy in this sort of situation?
I have a friend who appealed her disfellowshipping related to her marrying or divorcing an unbeliever. I think it was a divorcing due to severe abuse. I don't remember the specifics but I know for a fact she appealed the DFing and won. I think her appeal even involved the DO at the time. In our own congregation growing up, I vaguely remember because I was young, but my sister who is 7 years older remembers vividly an appeal that was won. There was an older sister in the hall that was extremely studious and give outstanding comments at the meetings. She was very smart and it showed! We had a very bull-headed and arrogant PO who thought she was disrespecting the elders somehow and worked to get her DFed. She appealed and won and the DFing was overturned. Not that long after, the PO moved on to a different congregation. NR
i'm referring to abuse in all it's forms: emotional, physical, sexual, mental, spiritual, whatever.. i.
Well put Mamochan. To quote my bible, The Simpsons, "My English, is, how you say, inelegant". NR
i'm referring to abuse in all it's forms: emotional, physical, sexual, mental, spiritual, whatever.. i.
I think you are definitely right to seperate sexual abuse. I, do, know a couple of exJWs who were sexually abused within their marriage and it did help get them out. But at such a high price! As far as the adult/child sexual abuse, I don't even know where to begin. It damages you so much that one might venture the opinion that to be not abused in that way and a lifelong JW would be better. I can only empathize on that one. My MIL was abused horrificly by her own father and it drove her deeper into the org. Even after knowing that he was covered up for by JCs ran by family members, she always blamed the people not the group. I am very sorry to anyone I might have offended with this topic. I, myself, was physically and especially verbally abused all through growing up by my father. He may have contributed to my leaving by acting that way later in life and my realizing that I didn't have to put up with him being that way. But, I certainly don't feel any gratitude for the emotional wreck it has made me at times, and the burden I feel at least in some way every single day. However, I do recognize some of the coping skills it gave me that helped me learn how to handle people well among other things. I also recognize some of the skills I acquired as a JW (public speaking, communicating well with strangers, etc.). But I sure wouldn't have paid for the classes....... NR
i'm referring to abuse in all it's forms: emotional, physical, sexual, mental, spiritual, whatever.. i.
Good points everyone. And I am sorry for the title of this thread. Abuse is never good! But some of the side effects can be somewhat positive. Sorry to any I appeared insensitive to. NR
i'm referring to abuse in all it's forms: emotional, physical, sexual, mental, spiritual, whatever.. i.
That's exactly the point I was driving at. Not that abuse is a good thing by any means, but that sometimes a traumatic event can be an eye opener. My sister was a very active JW, but when she and her husband seperated rather suddenly, she immediately stopped going to meetings. It was like it took her life being turned upside down for her eyes to open. For me, it was seeing how quickly everyone turned on her to help push me out. Even though we had been inactive for many years, my mind never understood that you just can't leave! It also opened my eyes when my father started treating her terribly like he had when we were children! I couldn't fathom treating someone so awfully as a strategy to win them over! (He literally in one instance chased her out of the house screaming at and threatening her. She had to run out with no shoes!) I also couldn't allow him to treat her and I as he did when we were helpless children. Had he not treated her that way there might have been a different outcome. You just never know! NR
i'm referring to abuse in all it's forms: emotional, physical, sexual, mental, spiritual, whatever.. i.
Good point. But sometimes it may take something traumatic to overcome years of brainwashing. (?)
i'm referring to abuse in all it's forms: emotional, physical, sexual, mental, spiritual, whatever.. i.
Whoops, hit enter prematurely. I meant to go on and say that often times there are stories from members here who experienced some sort of maltreatment and it resulted in them getting out of the cult.
There seem to be a lot of former wives of abusive, domineering JW husbands on here that had enough and DAed themselves or got DFed intentionally to get out! Once out for what was supposed to be temporary, they realized being out was sublime! And they never went back!
For myself, I had been inactive for years but what pushed me out was witnessing the way my sister was being treated when she abruptly fell away. Especially what helped seal the deal was when my father starting being abusive to her in an effort to control her back into the org. It really backfired on him because it only scared her out further and ignited me to life in her defense!
Either way, to all of us here (we have all endured being victims in one way or another especially at the hands of an abusive cult!), here's to healing, moving on, and living a life free from abusers!
Have a happy weekend!
NR
