Posts by MarkofCane

in margaret atwood's "the handmaid's tale", a futuristic story of life inside a repressive, abusive big brother-style society tightly controlled by religious fundamentalists, there's a passage in which the protagonist is alone with another woman at a state-controlled centre where prayers are generated -- then printed out and read out -- by a machine.

the other woman asks, in barely more than a whisper, "do you think god listens to these machines?

MarkofCane

When it come's to doubts and questioning WT dogma I speak to no one, not even my wife...hardly just turn to an argument. I know the facts so there no reason to argue or debate. I come here and spout off to the forum members which i'm grateful for having. In my day to day activities I never mention GOD or religion, nor do I bring up politics. No point, always seams to leave a bad taste in my mouth when it over.

21

Why Me?

by Grey Goose in

jw
friends

it the question that i have found myself constantly asking myself the past few months.

out of all the jws i interact with, why did it have to be me that woke up from this mess?.

i am relieved that i have woken up to the bullshit, but a side of me misses that fuzzy feeling of being a 100% believer.

MarkofCane

I've wondered this myself. Why did I have to wake form my somber? I look at the folks still in and they seem to be on the same old routine going through this life with this mislead arrogance, this fantasy that there real life is yet to be lived. They appear to be in a sleep like state just walking through this life, like it is a rehearsal of some sort, like it has no meaning. Things that are important like family and relationships are pushed aside for a future utopia that is delusional. They wave off the now for a future. They are ok with writing off the one's that leave there delusion with this pretense they are living by some spirit directed mandate given to them by the Governing body. There whole existence is fantasy.

If I could take a pill that guaranteed, I would not remember a thing but would wake up tomorrow and would be where I once was, inside the organization. My family in unity, old friends in there respective places and firmly back within the congregation. Back out in service preaching a fantasy that I truly believed, living the dream of a future paradise. Would I take the pill? I would have to say no. I would not want to be living a lie. I would rather live the now with all its unknown then a fantasy with all there deluded answer. I would rather suffer with humanity and try to figure out the world we live in then close minded and mislead to appease some old men living in Brooklyn. I would rather be the real me.

12

Hello everybody!

by roberto avon in

jw
friends

hello everybody,i've been lurking for a while and since i really adore reading the biggest part of the posts, especially this italian ( american) guy about his experiences at bethel in the 70's, i feel a little bit guilty for not participating with my contribute.

i am really so sorry for the people that are suffering because of the wts.my story is a " happy ending " story, i married a jw almost 30 years ago and i am here to tell that we are still very happy.

she is very liberal and our 3 kids are " normal ".

MarkofCane

Welcome, Roberto you are among friends.

38

A faded JW about to see the Circuit overseer

by pleaseresearch in

so my mum who is in and really is finding it hard that i have left and faded.

shes asked me if i want to the the circuit overseer next week.. i have never met him and this is more my mum wanting me to get my problems i have with the organisation out.

but should i share everything i've learnt or what?.

MarkofCane

I agree don't meet. But if you have too, like I had to. I had a couple of elders hounding me, leaving messages on my phone. So i figured I would see them next time I showed up at the meeting,so I called back and accepted to meet with them and the CO, but instead of my home I said I would only meet at the Kingdom hall. They agreed and we met after the meeting. The CO asked me a number of times if there was anything he could do? If I believed the Organization was God vessel? I said yes to everything and said that we had some personal issues we are working out and needed some time and privacy to accomplish this. This kind of left him and the elders satisfied and have back off since then.

If you decide to meet be careful not to show disagreement with any doctrine or GB agenda. Don't bring up any issue about the organization that you are questioning once you open that door they will pursue the blood trail. Choose your words wisely and say as little as possible. Watch that you don't roll your eyes or show body language that shows contempt for there intrusion on you. If you can't control yourself, then don't agree to meet.

127

The people are mobilizing Mr Drumpf

by Simon in

protesters shut down a trump rally.

massive numbers of people are out in chicago and have shut his event down.

there were scuffles inside the event.. despite his lame attempt to pretend the violence he instigates is nothing to do with him it's clear that it is as the cnn quotes during the last event showed only too well.. this doesn't happen at anyone else's events - candidates have even given up the stage to protesters, not called for them to be beaten and punched.. trump is an ugly person and this is just a small taste of what a future under his rule would be like.. shame on the gop for not kicking his ass out.

MarkofCane

Trump is a joke, he is showing his true colors! He see's a lynch mob and run to the front of it and call's it a parade. He's delusional. So he claims he is going to destroy Isis, yet he can even handle protesters in Chicago and had to cancel the event.... Delusional.

I liked the sign someone was holding at one of his events, " Build a wall around Trump and I will pay for it"

18

Peer Pressure amongst witnesses

by stuckinarut2 in

have you noticed just how strong peer pressure is amongst witnesses?.

the desire to match or better one another's "spiritual accomplishments" or decisions in life?.

pioneering - because it is the "right" thing to do.. answering at meetings...perhaps multiple times - because it is the "right" thing to do.. choice of employment.

MarkofCane

The JW life is like 'running on a hamster wheel'. Until you wake up and just stop running, they see that your wheel is no longer spinning and they want to know why?

92

Only a few days ago I was entirely lost and without hope the rug was pulled out from under me

by elderess in

jw
friends

only a few days ago i was walking around the house in a mindless wander thinking if i needed to seek professional help.

then i got the courage to seek the comfort of complete strangers on the internet and found a world of support here on this website.

thank you simon and whoever else has made this website possible.

MarkofCane

John Aguila, is this YOU, but in female form? Sounds too good to be true. I hope it is true, but the long windedness and flat-out "whooper" writing style seem very similar. C'mon John, I know you're out there somewhere!

Wingcommander

That was some funny stuff, spit coffee all over my keyboard. Lol

27

I am losing

by NoMoreHustle in

i haven't posted anything for a bit, but wanted to express how i am losing this battle.

it has been over 3 years now since i woke up about watchtower.

the battle that i am talking about is the tug of war with my wife (i adore her immensely), watchtower is winning, she simply will not give in to my so-called negative thoughts about the religion that we are in.

MarkofCane

Ya same boat. My wife is like the musicians that went down with the Titanic, playing there instruments as the ship went down. She is there because she is loyal! I've asked her to explain stuff to me and all she does is parrot what she is taught to parrot. I have stopped trying to wake her up, I just live a normal life and show her by example, that i'm not possessed by some demon or left the troof for some selfish reason. 'I left because it's lies and nonsense'.

I am still me, the real me, no layers, no more pretentiousness..... Just me unmasked. It takes time to adjust to change and I'm giving her, her space to see and adjust as her conscience allows her. It's small increments but if you knew us 4 yrs ago you would diffidently see a difference, sometime I get frustrated because it's not fast enough and I lose sight that...... we no longer the same people. Remember it took a long time to indoctrinate us and it takes time to undo the psychological damage.