Please, I was an ex jw for 10 years. I just realized that choices have consequences, both good and bad, and you HAVE to live with them. That’s what you’re ignoring. That’s life. I accepted those consequences and I was fine while I was out.
You don’t want to accept those consequences. That’s why you say it’s not a “free” choice.
Once you recognize and accept that fact, you will make smart decisions.