I always felt sick to the stomach when trying to "preach" to someone while doing the field serve-us because it was like a practical exam, an exercise of what was taught at the kingdumb hall essentially as ways to hook people, let their guard down, and manipulate them by sweet words and love bombing.
Because my self-esteem had begun to diminish when I joined this cult, I tried to avoid talking when meeting householders and let my pioneer partner do it. And as I stood beside them I felt sorry for the householder because he/she was being promised the paradise, everlasting life, but at a great cost to his/her sanity and entire life in the future.
