You are very lucky to still be able to talk to your family. I'm not disfellowshipped yet my JW parents told me they could no longer babysit my children because my husband is disfellowshipped. I'm not invited even to family gatherings anymore. You're parents sound very reasonable. The congregation avoids me when they see me in public but have no problem talking to me and hugging me at the kingdom hall.
I agree that it is very annoying when ex-JWs see themselves as victims way longer than they should. It's absolutely normal to go through a victim phase but they must get out of that to move forward in life and be happy. I do admire the ones that move forward and decide to help others.
The longer and deeper you are in the religion the more difficult it is to leave and even tougher it is to deprogram, get out of the victim phase. These people need extra support and love because their whole life has been built on the organization. It's absolutely normal to go through this phase and shouldn't be criticized. Same thing happens when people go to college for 5 years or more and end up unemployed and not being able to find a job, or to a person who has had a reliable career based on a company/corporation for many many years and suddenly they get laid off. It changes their whole life drastically.
At 17 you are barely starting to build a life for yourself. Sometimes you don't even know where to start building. 17 is a very fun stage in life. The books you are reading are informative but you can't get to fully understand how it feels being in the actual situation most of us here experience. That's how life is though. You can't judge someone and their reaction, decisions unless you yourself have experienced it in the way they have.
Btw I do think it's great that you started this journey early. You're saving yourself a lot of pain. Plus you seem to have a great attitude and supportive parents. A lot here will not agree with your point of views and that's ok. Don't let that bother you.