You and I are in a similar boat. I was never DFed. I faded. Before my fade was complete I was shunned by friends I had for decades.
The only person in the congregation who would speak to me was my father. When he did speak to me, he talked to me like I was a Witness or a Bible study. That hurt.
You cannot reason with them. You are dealing with faith. Faith is belief. Belief is opinion. It is not based on facts.
It hurts, but in the end you got your life back. Over 30 years of my life was wasted in that cult. I still have plenty of time to enjoy life.