Well, i don't know how much advice I can offer but i can tell you what works for me and my still JW spouse.
When I finally made my stand after only two years of being indoctrinated and bailed it was tough for both of us. She was constantly badgering me about why I didn't believe it was the truth anymore and when I told her she would pretty much just ignore the reasons by making excuses and apologizing for the org. What I found was that it was more of a deep seated thought of hers that I would abandon her also. I also found that she was concerned about how she would have to explain it to the "brothers" about me not attending meetings anymore. It was these things that were bothering her more than her canned parroting of WT expressions about "being together in paradise" even though she'll never admit to this. Reality is secondary to how things are supposed to "appear" to those in the congregation so as not to "stumble" anyone.
One day after an evening of interrogating questions from her after throwing up I finally had to throw down the gauntlet. I explained to her that I wasn't leaving her or abandoning a belief in God, but what I was leaving is the all too controlling atmosphere of the man made organization known as the WTBS. As far aas I know, this is my only shot at life and that I intended to live it based upon my own thoughts, feelings, and decisions and not those filtered through a bunch of old geezers in Brooklyn or the congregation. I told her I have to be the person I want to be and not the person she or anyone else expects me to be and that my love for her is not contingent upon whether or not she was a JW and for this marriage to work that I hoped she felt the same way.
Since then we've created a comfortable truce whereby I say nothing about her going to the sparse meetings she now choose to attend and she no longer badgers and questions me about going to meetings anymore. All I've learned about the real truth behind the "trooth" I keep to myself, unless she specifically asks and when she intentionally draws me into JW conversations with her family. Usually this never happens anymore since I at one time got them to admit that the society wasn't the perfect organization they seemed to think it was. I could see the fear in their faces as theyI mentioned their UN involvement once and my b-i-l turned red in the face in his explosive vehemence to deny it. I asked him would he be interested in researching it and that this information would not be contained inside the WT publications to which he stated if it wasn't in the publications, he'd never believe it.
So sad that people can be controlled to that degree.
