gypsy and gil,
I am sorry you are going through rough times right now. No one can tell you what to do to be happy. The cold reality is if you have to join the human race and work for it. I had a friend tell me once that he thought the JW's were the laziest people on earth, and I have to agree. We have been spoon fed everything to tell us how to be happy. And how many are or were?
Or once we're in the new system, we will be happy. I use to wonder, how will that make me happy?
When we have been told over and over people who have everything they want are still unhappy? (camel through an eye of a needle crap)
I know for a fact you have to work hard at being happy.
Now get off your lazy ex-witness rear ends!
Get a hobby, join clubs, go back to school!
or if all else fails,
Go sit on a corner and hold up a sign. "I will work for friends."
Good luck!