Posts by outnfree

8

Another Cult Nightmare

by Seven in

jw
friends

march 29, 2001.

by the associated press.

filed at 2:52 a.m. et.

Someone mentioned that story in passing the other day, but I had no idea about the HORRORS it entailed! It was, rather, "Did you hear about that church in Atlanta that got in trouble for allowing the parents to physically discipline their children inside church?"

And my reaction was: "Then parents all over the world in Kingdom Halls should be in trouble, too!"

But I had NO IDEA! It truly is nauseating to know the evils that are perpetuated in "the name of the Lord"!
Physical abuse, emotional abuse, all in the name of sick, power-hungry, perverted men of the cloth!

Just sickening! Those of us who still pray might wish to pray for those poor innocents -- that their psyches get healed of the feelings of badness and worthlessness that have been (literally) pounded into them by their church leader and parents! Those scars are likely to take far longer to fade than the physical ones.

Also, we might pray that SANE relatives take them in, because the foster system is quite scary, too.

With a heavy heart,
Outnfree

9

The happiest depressed people on earth

by Norm in

jw
friends

as we know after many years in the watchtower society, brooklyn loves to tell us how incredibly happy jehovah's witnesses are:.

*** w99 10/1 8 "for everything there is an appointed time" ***.

13 of course, the fact that jehovahs servants weep over the sorry state of world affairs does not preclude their being happy.

outnfree

Dear Norm,

Yes! Yes! Yes!

Now "serving with delight" OUTSIDE of the WTBTS,
outnfree

16

MEDICAL Expertise of the Watchtower.

by Focus in

jw
friends

"can the ethiopian change his skin color?

"stupid children require attention for a different reason.

drink a full glass of water both before and after the bath.

outnfree

Boy, Focus!
What an enormous amount of time spent on research! So much, in fact, that my eyes were glazing over whenever I wasn't shaking my head in disbelief!
From Russell to Rutherford to Knorr to NOW -- the nonsense just continues... How is it that so many were duped?
Some day I'll tell you how I was stupid enough to allow those men in Brooklyn to control my reproductive system.
Please thank Prominent Bethelite for the forward.

Outnfree

28

I am materialistic

by expatbrit in

jw
friends

last week i had a phone conversation with my family back in england.

my parents had figured out that something wasn't usual about my attitude to the "truth", so they started grilling me: have i been to meetings?

going in field service?

outnfree

Dear ExPat,

I liked the chess analogy, but WHO IS FRED HALL????
(I have a feeling I'll find out, right?)

outnfree

12

hi...

by HalfWayThere in

i was looking at jw sites on the net and i found this site, its pretty cool i must admit and you all seem to be so positive about life after "the truth".

but its also comforting to hear how scared some of you were when you first left.. at the moment i'm contemplating leaving the organization.

i haven't been attending the meetings much lately, nor done any witnessing, and to be honest i don't miss it.

outnfree

Dear HalfWayThere,

Are you sure what you experienced in your travels wasn't just a group of very POLITE people? Polite people in many places will welcome strangers, try to make them feel at home, invite them to join in activites to make their stay more pleasant, etc...

Worldwide there is definitely great UNITY. We're all taught the same things, we know how we're supposed to act, and we (perhaps naively] expect certain conduct from any brothers and sisters that we meet.
Yet, I'm not convinced that LOVE -- true, from the heart, love is really there worldwide. I mean, wouldn't it be easier to truly love those you've known for years, with whom you have a history? And if that kind of deep affection cannot be found at the local level, do you really think the friends in Switzerland or wherever feel anything remotely similar?

There is a bond of union -- Watchtower indoctrination, not LOVE.

Sorry to be negative. Or is that just realistic?

outnfree

12

hi...

by HalfWayThere in

i was looking at jw sites on the net and i found this site, its pretty cool i must admit and you all seem to be so positive about life after "the truth".

but its also comforting to hear how scared some of you were when you first left.. at the moment i'm contemplating leaving the organization.

i haven't been attending the meetings much lately, nor done any witnessing, and to be honest i don't miss it.

outnfree

Hi, HalfWayThere!

As you can see, I'm already gone, but it WAS scary to leave after spending most of my adult life feeling I was in the right organization but just personally deficient in some way. (Never could do ENOUGH!)

One thing I might suggest to you is for you to go ahead and live a double life. ;0 If you're already missing meetings and service, spend some of those freed-up hours in your life exploring things you've always wanted to do -- sports? arts? music? higher education? This way you will finally have the opportunity to do those things which were frowned upon as being too time-consuming and "unspiritual" during your growing up years. AND you will meet others who enjoy the same things and can start making a new group of [non-Witness] friends.

For myself, I took the opportunity to spend Sunday mornings looking for a new church. (Our meetings were in the afternoon). I have found a non-denominational church [used to laugh at that designation!) where I feel comfortable. I do not believe everything they espouse, but I will not be disfellowshipped for disagreeing, either! LOL I am a "joiner", and I did want the back and forth of Bible study (not the canned responses one is supposed to give from books and magazines that passes for Bible study at the KH) so I'm quite content.

I am in no way telling you to find a new church, HWT. No, no, no! Find something YOU desire to do, and make the new contacts so that when you're "FullyThere" you won't feel so bereft.

Don't let the articles and talks convince you that you're an unworthy worm who isn't giving his/her best to Jehovah. Don't ever let them convince you that leaving the ORGANIZATION is the same thing as leaving JEHOVAH. You CAN have a relationship with God (if you so desire) without the WTBTS. Billions do! LOL Don't give the Society that power over you! You ARE valuable just as you are.

Welcome to the board!
outnfree

28

I am materialistic

by expatbrit in

jw
friends

last week i had a phone conversation with my family back in england.

my parents had figured out that something wasn't usual about my attitude to the "truth", so they started grilling me: have i been to meetings?

going in field service?

outnfree

Mommy:

Thanks for the welcome. I've enjoyed your posts here and on H2O for several months now. :D And I'm SO glad to be here!

28

I am materialistic

by expatbrit in

jw
friends

last week i had a phone conversation with my family back in england.

my parents had figured out that something wasn't usual about my attitude to the "truth", so they started grilling me: have i been to meetings?

going in field service?

outnfree

And cat and mouse is really what it is...

I'm sorry for your frustration, ExPat, and I can fully empathize with wanting to avoid the nausea or snores. I had to sit through 2 weeks of TMS/Service Mtgs. before they finally made the disassociation announcement (No, they didn't announce it during Local Announcements, not sure if that was a power play -- keeping the pressure on me just a little longer? -- or just a way to keep the troops focussed on the rest of the Svc. Mtg. because otherwise their minds may have been distracted with conjecture over why Sister Always Prepared was walking away!) I was thoroughly disgusted by the same tired, old, claptrap being spouted from the platform. But MY reaction was one rueful smile after another at the congregation's delusion that they were actually being "spiritually fed"!

I can also relate to your strange elder visit! The friend who turned me in never realized the severe consequences her reporting action would have, because she didn't know just how FAR my prayer, mind and research had taken me away from the organization's stranglehold. She outright told me she didn't WANT any doubts, and that's why she wouldn't listen. After I wrote her a heart-tugging e-mail reminding her that she is my FRIEND and could she imagine telling her son, or Jehovah telling HER, "I don't want to hear it"? -- she agreed to meet face to face. Because I also mentioned in my e-mail that my options were now: 1) surrender to a judicial committee, 2) try to ignore the elders and fade away, or 3) disassociate myself. When she realized the gravity, she was willing to listen -- but only to a point. (Very frustrating!)

(Did I have a point that applied to YOU, ExPat? I'm sure I did... LOL)

Ah, yes! My point was that after our luncheon and my decision to disassociate, she first sent me a very sentimental "good-bye" packager, but then resumed her habit of phoning me on her way home from work each evening, reviewing our days. The axe was about to fall, but rather than speak about the IMMINENT DANGER to our continued relationship (she was going to have to shun me within a few weeks if not days), she just ignored that topic completely!!! (And to think I used to be just as emotionally compartmentalized!) Unreal.

Surreal?

So my take on the inane elder visit is that he didn't want to hear anything you might honestly and -- egad! -- OPENLY reveal. But he sure did want you to reassure him about HIS belief system by putting yourself back under "theocratic order" so that HE would no longer feel threatened by your "aberrant behavior" (aka "spiritual weakness" LOL).

Can everyone here tell that I'm new and that I have all this pent-up anger, outrage, disbelief, relief, etc., etc., to express? :-)

So, you are on the horns of a dilemma, ExPatBrit. But at least after you attend the Memorial (I REALLY, REALLY think you should and here's why:
1) Mrs. ExPatBrit is still in -- and there is nothing more lonely than not having your loved ones along with you for [what to her is still] that very important event;
2) You admit that your parents WILL ask; and, most importantly
3) It will keep you in "camouflage" that much longer so that you can ATTAIN YOUR GOAL of "fading away quietly".)

you can come back here to lament how really awful the sterile "celebration" was!

We'll all be here to listen. Promise!

Outnfree

21

Hi-I'm new here

by had_enough in

jw
friends

im new to this (or any) board and id like to introduce myself.

ive been visiting this and h2o for about a month now, and it has been so therapeutic for me.

ive been inactive for about 2 years except for memorial and assemblies and those have only been for my siblings sake to help care for an aging parent.. i decided to join in and introduce myself because yesterday i read ozzies great post on restrictions on march 23 pm and got so worked up by past memories of my experience with dfing and going through the humiliation of qualifying for reinstatement.

outnfree

Hi, had_enough!
I'm brand new here, too.
Wanted to tell you that much of your post resonated with me. I, too, was upset when the Society let us know (in it's wonderfully oblique, never-admitting-a-mistake way) that they did really have a CLUE as to what "this generation" meant. I expressed to a friend that one of the reasons we felt so special and blessed was because OUR religion could understand those time prophecies! Now, "new light" is sounding more and more like "Christendom"'s version of Christ's Second Advent, isn't it?
Anyway, I also had a hard time with the Society's shunning policy. Had a friend who was on her death bed and was NOT supposed to go to her. Ashamed to say I DIDN'T go to her. At least, not right away. Mercifully, she lived long enough to forgive me for my foolishness. I finally figured out that CHRIST would never have treated her (or anyone else) so callously, no matter what her disfellowshipping offense and acted in harmony with what I KNEW TO BE RIGHT! (As you did with your son.)
I don't envy the place you're in now, but Jehovah will guide you and protect you if you just keep praying for guidance and the correct way to please Him.
Meantime, this forum is a great place to discuss, vent, rehash, cry, and REJOICE as you find your way.
I'll be looking forward to your further posts.
Peace,
Outnfree

28

I am materialistic

by expatbrit in

jw
friends

last week i had a phone conversation with my family back in england.

my parents had figured out that something wasn't usual about my attitude to the "truth", so they started grilling me: have i been to meetings?

going in field service?

outnfree

Dear ExPat,

If you are wanting to "fade away" I think you should rethink your decision NOT to attend the Memorial. Nevermind the 'international lurkers' who would report you to Brooklyn: Your own local elders will be alerted by your absence that your inactivity is likely something MORE than just this old world's anxieties weighing you down. Then, should they question you, you are going to find it difficult to keep the truth about your disaffection with the Society to yourself and you are setting yourself up to be disfellowshipped.

And I'm getting the impression you would like to avoid being df'd because of family ties. (Also, won't the parents ask if you went to the Memorial? If you can say yes, then they will be relieved, and they won't feel compelled to question you further on your inactivity, boxing their worries up in a convenient little corner of their minds -- as so many Witnesses do when they are faced with dissonance.)

I am speaking from experience, ExPat. I have a friend who became inactive and has been left alone by the brothers for about 5 years now. During that time I doubt if you could count the number of meetings she's attended on two hands -- but fully 1/2 of them would be the annual Memorial 'celebrations.'

On the other hand, there is me, who after not attending meetings for most of only 5 MONTHS, foolishly was outspoken with only ONE other active Witness. One of my best friends, she went to the elders (at least she only told them that I was "having doubts") who immediately began calling me to see what was going on. OH, would that I had kept my doubts and newfound knowledge to MYSELF and those already out!!!
Because I could not lie to the elders and thus my idea of 'fading away' became an impossibility. Once grilled, I could not hold back from telling them at least that I no longer believed the Witnesses to be God's ONLY channel of communication, and the "spiritual ark" to which all mankind must run for salvation. I then decided my only option was to disassociate myself. I wanted it to be clear that I was rejecting the organization rather than the organization rejecting me.

So be careful, ExPat, if you want to fade, you may have to pay the price of the once-a-year Memorial attendance. At least, that is my recommendation.

"Be careful out there!"
Outnfree (since March 22, 2001)