outnfree

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Posts by outnfree

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  21

  I made a video!

  by BlackSwan of Memphis in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivagsugw9qy.

  i took photos of the kids and my hubbys family from xmas and set it to when i'm 64 by the beatles.. i'm only going to keep it on public for the day, then i'm going to reset it to private.. .

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  outnfree

  BEAUTIFUL, ((((((((BSoM))))))))!
  
  FINALLY I get to see what the kids and Terry look like! :)
  
  In person someday soon, okay?
  
  Love and hugs,
  Brenda
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  28

  "The Secret" - Movie

  by Bstndance in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  oy vey!

  so my friend made me watch the "movie" the secret last night.

  it's basically a movie about the concept of visualizing and how we can achieve anything we want if we just picture it and not think about the negative.

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  outnfree

  I've seen the movie and I LOVE it!!!
  
  I think Bstndance's review is incomplete, because as jaguarbass said, the point is visualization and positive thinking, but always, always, in the following manner: you visualize the things you want that make you feel happy, joyous, and, yes, abundant. If what you are visualizing makes you feel sad, lonely, guilty, stressed, then you need to change what you're seeing for yourself. If you keep believing bad things will happen to you, then they will.
  
  I had a huge break with my only brother several years ago (we have since reconciled) because he called me a "princess" who had no concept of how hard life was. Well, while I took exception to the fact that I had no "concept" of how hard life could be, I did, in fact, lead a rather charmed life in many ways. And I truly believe it was (is) because I EXPECT good things in my life. For the most part, I lead a happy life -- even though I am sometimes beset by some difficult challenges.
  
  They say that the cancer patients who don't ask questions, and bug their medical team, and who just passively accept treatment are the ones most likely to die. I believe this, having seen first hand how some of my fellow cancer sufferers have fared. For myself, from the very start, I told myself and others "This is NOT my exit point." I have plans, you see, for seeing my grandchildren born and for taking them on trips all over the world with me. I NEVER let go of that determination that breast cancer would NOT mean my death. I recently got back my tumor-marker results, and my doctor told me that the score was so low that insurance would not allow her to give me another one any time soon!!!
  
  I also believe I visualized my present home into being. While I was still living in the marital home for financial reasons, I received a postcard in the mail which had a lovely picture of a door with the number 4 above it with viney flowers all around it. I LOVED it! So I put it where I could see it whenever I did the dishes and kept saying to myself that that door Number 4 was going to open into my new condo, for which I WOULD be able to get a mortgage (despite having had no full-time, outside job for the past 20 years or so). Well, by the time I could actually arrange a down payment on a 3-bedroom condo (they're rather rare), the condo in the building I'd planned to live in was gone. What was the only 3-BR unit left? Unit 4 -- which also happens to back on to conservation lands, so I have nobody behind my unit. And I have a truly sweet neighbor, too, who volunteered to stain my deck for a case of beer -- and then did it for a 6-pack!
  
  So, "The Secret" wasn't anything new to me, but the movie did sort of formalize the things I'd been learning to do all along.
  
  Popper -- it's ALL about feeling good versus feeling bad, and while I agree that the external are only "things", my recent inner peace would not have been possible if I had continued living with a person who had betrayed me because I hadn't the financial means to get out. The means appeared, I believe, because Source knew that for me to be my best and highest self, I had to move to a place where I could be myself, unencumbered.
  
  Anyway, to each his own...
  
  out
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  16

  What to do, what to do?!?

  by outnfree in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this is long, so please bear with me.

  for some background info you may or may not want to read: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/100930/1.ashx .

  i need your opinions, please.

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  outnfree

  Judy -- I hear you. I think what you said might be exactly what my psychologist would say.
  
  You, too, Hortensia. Of course, I will always have to interact with the man, he's the father of my children. I spent over 30 years of my life with him. But I get your point. I can choose to play on his stage or to just butt out and let him hoist his own petard.
  
  abr -- I read your PM and answered you. Thanks for that interesting info.
  
  GaryBuss -- I fully intend to consult my attorney tomorrow. My list of questions keeps growing.
  
  Crumpet -- I think it's more than fair, too, for me to salvage the furnishings. If he doesn't want the things by the time two months or up, I can use Dave's idea (above) to get some estate sale people in and let them bid on the entire lot.
  
  Tomorrow is for calling the attorney and finding out how much it would cost to move things. I already know what storage will cost -- I'd stored things pre-condo move-in.
  
  Anyway, I'm home now and back to concentrating on MY life -- I've got homework to do...
  
  Thanks for the input, guys.
  
  MUAH -- out
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  16

  What to do, what to do?!?

  by outnfree in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this is long, so please bear with me.

  for some background info you may or may not want to read: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/100930/1.ashx .

  i need your opinions, please.

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  outnfree

  I am leaning towards putting everything into storage. It's what my son and one of my daughters think I should do - with the idea that I give him two months to decide if he wants his stuff or not, and if he doesn't act by the deadline, I take what I want and sell off the rest. (It would be put out on the curb/kerb by the bailiff anyway.) The third child has not yet been polled. ;)
  
  I am going to head over to the house now to empty the refrigerator as tomorrow is trash day in his neighborhood.
  
  Dave -- I didn't think of estate buyers. It would be a good idea if cooperation could be expected, but it cannot. What I believe he is hoping is that I save him from eviction somehow and the status quo can go on -- he lives there not lifting a finger to get the sale going and depriving me for as long as he possibly can of my share of the equity.
  
  Lisa -- I believe he IS depressed. He lost both his parents last year. He didn't really want the divorce, even though he was cheating on me. But there is also a mean streak in him. I think he feels he's punishing me. And he is, in a way, because he knows me well enough to try to make me buy into the "this is all your fault, so you put a stop to it" baloney. The thing is, I'm done accepting blame for a state of affairs that came into being because of his actions (the affair) or inaction (not dealing with the legal matters intrinsic to a divorce).
  
  UnConfused -- I think the stuff will reap far more in value than the cost of the movers and storage also should I sell off everything I don't want.
  
  (((BSoM))) -- No, honey, I'm not buying it! (see above) However, I am a bit of a sentimental fool -- I really don't want to see him brought that low. Also, there are things from his parents amid the remaining furnishings that, if he doesn't care enough about to make certain they are safe from disposal, I would like to recover for our kids. However, I did just consider leaving all except for the things I want personally and believe the kids may want someday, because I'm wondering if this isn't part of a big life lesson Mr. Powerful Executive is supposed to learn. That is, a lesson in what's really important -- not the things nor the status, but PEOPLE, especially the people we love...
  
  Ah, well. I'm still open for more opinions.
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  19

  Scan this Wednesday - BABY

  by KW13 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  some of you may know my gf megan is pregnant.. our first scan is this wednesday - i dunno whether its possible to find out the sex at this young age but, yeh i am excited and desperate to know all is well so far!.

  i am excited and proud cos imma stud!

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  outnfree

  Congratulations, "stud" and family! How far along is Megan? When I had an ultrasound at about 12 weeks because of complications, my little Katie was only a shrimp-like thing with beating heart and stumpy arms... out
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  16

  What to do, what to do?!?

  by outnfree in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this is long, so please bear with me.

  for some background info you may or may not want to read: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/100930/1.ashx .

  i need your opinions, please.

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  outnfree

  This is long, so please bear with me. For some background info you may or may not want to read: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/100930/1.ashx
  
  I need your opinions, please. I was divorced in May 2005. It has been over two years since the marital home was supposed to go on the market according to mediation. SInce then, ex-hubby has thwarted efforts to put the house on the market by refusing to cooperate in clean-up, repairs, or cost of repairs effected by someone else. He is still living there and had no impetus to sell, because he's comfortable there and I'm already gone.
  
  I, on the other hand, have moved on -- I own a 3-BR condominium in a neighboring town, our son lives with me, the girls have the spare room to crash in when they come home. I am attending university full time (5 classes this semester) and have a little work-study related job.
  
  On the 1st of Nov 2006, the family court judge ordered, with both our consents, to place the home in receivership. This is not the same as foreclosure when one doesn't pay the mortgage and the bank sells/auctions the home to recoup the mortgage lien. It means that due to the lack of cooperation between the parties to the divorce, the judge is appointing someone to take over the duties of preparing the home for sale and listing and selling it. An important point to remember is that the ex- agreed to receivership in open court. The judge did this to enforce the provisions of the original divorce decree.
  
  To make a long story short, the ex- is now not cooperating with the Receiver. About 10 days ago, the receiver took the ex- to court to force cooperation or the ex- may be evicted.
  
  When I got wind of the upcoming proceedings through my attorney, I e-mailed the ex- to warn him of that dire possibility. I have since spoken to the receiver twice. The first time he indicated he would prefer my ex- just work with him to get the house into showable state and continue to live there. The second time (this past Friday) he told me he considered my ex- to be purposely blocking access and planned to go through with the eviction. If I wanted to remove/salvage some belongings, he would work with me.
  
  I e-mailed the ex- to let him know what I knew and proposed salvaging at a minimum the remaining furniture and appliances. (For myself, there is only 1 piece of furniture that I'd like to have that's still there.) He responded icily:
  
  that he was out of town next week (the receiver will act within the next 10 days), that he will stop paying the mortgage (because he cannot afford to pay that and another rent/mortgage somewhere new) should he be evicted, that I started all this and should put a stop to it, and that "we will not get any return out of the house in this manner."
  
  Now -- this is my question: To salvage ALL the furniture and appliances, getting movers in to bring the goods to storage, or just to salvage the piece of furniture I want, the bedroom set one of my daughters wants, and a few boxes full of memorabilia that remain there?
  
  For your information, my name is on the deed but not on the mortgage. My credit rating will not suffer if the house goes into foreclosure. On the other hand, I will likely get less equity back out of the home.
  
  My initial reaction was to reply:
  
  "How will we get any return out of the house if it is not on the market? You have resisted doing so for over two years.
  "I have no control over what the receiver does from now on. You agreed to receivership in open court.
  "If you quit paying the mortgage, the house will go into foreclosure, and we may get even less for it. However, you may want to seriously consider what a foreclosure will mean to your credit rating for the next seven years.
  "So, do you want me to salvage the furniture or not?"
  
  What say you?
  
  Thanks,
  out
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  9

  Need suggestions for new domain name for ex-dub site, any suggestions?

  by needproof in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  does anybody have any suggestions for a dot com name i can use to put my anti-jw stuff up?

  i was thinking along the lines of a combined site which adds other non-jw related info, which is still going to be skeptical.

  maybe i can use the domain name / watchtower , does anybody have any ideas?

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  outnfree

  Or how about using your own name here at JWD in the name: JWsNeedProof.com
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  9

  Need suggestions for new domain name for ex-dub site, any suggestions?

  by needproof in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  does anybody have any suggestions for a dot com name i can use to put my anti-jw stuff up?

  i was thinking along the lines of a combined site which adds other non-jw related info, which is still going to be skeptical.

  maybe i can use the domain name / watchtower , does anybody have any ideas?

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  outnfree

  LOL at Min -- so you like rap, do you?
  
  How about modifying min's suggestion to read: CanIgetaJWitness?.com
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  39

  What the Heck is the WTBTS up to!

  by looking_glass in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  clearly they are doing some strong arming or promoting more fear tactics!

  i received a letter in the mail today from my mother.

  my mother who when growing up a jw was considered a trouble maker.

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  outnfree

  ((((((looking glass))))))
  I liked the abused dog analogy.
  I am sorry for your pain. And I am so very grateful to be out, out, out, so that I never became that JW mother to my own children. Such heartache IMPOSED by the Borg and its vacillating ways and forked tongue!
  
  outnfree
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  15

  what the hell is up ...

  by BlackSwan of Memphis in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  is <> dangerous?.

  it's not atheists, christians, buddhists, pagans...i'm not singling out any one group.. religion is so evil.

  atheism is so stupid.

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  outnfree

  Just a quick <<Muah>> for BSoM -- and run!
  
  Gotta stop reading the board and go do my homework!
  
  I 've gotta say that one of the things I've enjoyed most over the years of participating on this board is the diversity of direction that various ex-Dubs have taken. It's a wonderful potpourri of ideas, beliefs, lifestyles. What is most important, in my not so humble opinion, is AUTHENTICITY. I don't care for labels. I care that people are comfortable in whatever self-realization about themselves they've come to, or that they're working on it. I say live and let live as long as the works promoted don't seek to impose beliefs on others or to hurt others with lawless, unkind acts.
  
  LOVE is still the answer. Always.
  
  Lovin' YOU, kiddo!
  
  Brenda