sawthelight,you talk alot of shit!
outsider_looking_in
JoinedPosts by outsider_looking_in
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14
Religious Ideology
by outsider_looking_in inreligious ideology.
taoism: shit happens.
confucianism: confucius, he say: "shit happens.
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14
Religious Ideology
by outsider_looking_in inreligious ideology.
taoism: shit happens.
confucianism: confucius, he say: "shit happens.
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outsider_looking_in
Religious Ideology
Taoism: Shit happens.
Confucianism: Confucius, he say: "Shit happens."Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
Zen Buddhism: Shit is, and is not.
Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of shit happening?
Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
Islam #2: If shit happens, take another hostage.
Islam #3: If shit happens, blame Israel.
Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.
Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.
Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen.
Episcopalian: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.
Methodist: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.
Congregationalist: Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that happens to another.
Unitarian: Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit that happens to another.
Lutheran: If shit happens, don't talk about it.
Fundamentalism: If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)
Fundamentalism #2: If shit happens to a televangelist, it's okay.
Fundamentalism #3: Shit must be born again.
Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to me?
Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work.
Seventh Day Adventism: No shit shall happen on Saturday.
Seventh Day Hoppist: Hop, Shit and Jump.
Creationism: God made all shit.
Secular Humanism: Shit evolves.
Christian Science: When shit happens, don't call a doctor - pray!
Christian Science #2: Shit happening is all in your mind.
Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this shit.
Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit.
Utopianism: This shit does not stink.
Darwinism: This shit was once food.
Capitalism: That's MY shit.
Communism: It's everybody's shit.
Feminism: Men are shit.
Chauvinism: We may be shit, but you can't live without us...
Commercialism: Let's package this shit.
Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden.
Idolism: Let's bronze this shit.
Existentialism: Shit doesn't happen; shit IS.
Existentialism #2: What is shit, anyway?
Stoicism: This shit is good for me.
Hedonism: There is nothing like a good shit happening!
Mormonism: God sent us this shit.
Mormonism #2: This shit is going to happen again.
Wiccan: As it harm none, let shit happen.
Scientology: If shit happens, see "Dianetics", Section 2, Chapter 4, p.157.
Jehovah's Witnesses: (Knock) (Knock) "Shit happens."
Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our shit?
Jehovah's Witnesses #3: Shit has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.
Moonies: Only really happy shit happens.
Hare Krishna: Shit happens, rama rama ding ding.
Rastafarianism: Let's smoke dis shit!
Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half of the time.
Church of SubGenius: BoB shits.
Practical: Deal with shit one day at a time.
Agnostic: Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.
Agnostic #2: Did someone shit?
Agnostic #3: What is this shit?
Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.
Atheism: What shit?
Atheism #2: I can't believe this shit!
Nihilism: No shit.
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11
Care to vent with me?
by patio34 inam aware this is not original.
my jw son called yesterday.
he pointed out to me how "fragile" everything is, what with the wtc bombing threatening so much in the us and world.
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536
LET'S MAKE A LITTLE WAGER
by You Know inperhaps you recall the instance in the bible where samson made a wager with the philistines that they couldnt guess his riddle.
as it turned out they wheedled the answer out of him by his fiancee, but the point is that they had a wager.
since the underlying assumption of the apostasy is that we are not living in the last days of this system of things, and that this world is not facing anything remotely like the biblical apocalypse, at least not any time soon, in the spirit of such antagonism, i would like to propose a similar wager.
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outsider_looking_in
To you know,
When all your predictions come to nothing will you post a thread on this board appologising for getting it wrong? -
2
Questionnaire for choosing a belief system
by outsider_looking_in ingod would like to thank you for your belief and patronage.
in order to better serve your needs, god asks that you take a few moments to answer the following questions.. .
please keep in mind that your responses will be kept completely confidential, and that you need not disclose your name or address unless you prefer a direct response to comments or suggestions.. .
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outsider_looking_in
God would like to thank you for your belief and patronage. In order to better serve your needs, God asks that you take a few moments to answer the following questions.
Please keep in mind that your responses will be kept completely confidential, and that you need not disclose your name or address unless you prefer a direct response to comments or suggestions.
1. How did you find out about your deity?
Newspaper
Bible
Torah
Television
Book of Mormon
Divine Inspiration
Dead Sea Scrolls
My Mama Done Tol' Me
Near Death Experience
Near Life Experience
National Public Radio
Tabloid
Burning Shrubbery
Other (specify): _____________
2. Which model deity did you acquire?Yahweh
Father, Son & Holy Ghost [Trinity Pak]
Jesus
Krishna
Zeus and entourage [Olympus Pak]
Odin and entourage [Valhalla Pak]
Allah
Satan
Gaia/Mother Earth/Mother Nature
None of the above, I was taken in by a false god
3. Did your God come to you undamaged, with all parts in good working order and with no obvious breakage or missing attributes?__ Yes __ No
If no, please describe the problems you initially encountered here. Please indicate all that apply:
Not eternal
Finite in space/Does not occupy or inhabit the entire cosmos
Not omniscient
Not omnipotent
Not infinitely plastic (incapable of being all things to all creations)
Permits sex outside of marriage
Prohibits sex outside of marriage
Makes mistakes (Geraldo Rivera; Michael Jackson)
Makes or permits bad things to happen to good people
When beseeched, does not stay beseeched
Requires burnt offerings
Requires virgin sacrifices
4. What factors were relevant in your decision to acquire a deity?Please check all that apply:
Indoctrinated by parents
Needed a reason to live
Indoctrinated by society
Needed focus in whom to despise
Imaginary friend grew up
Wanted to know Jesus in the Biblical sense
Hate to think for myself
Wanted to meet girls/boys
Fear of death
Wanted to piss off parents
Needed a day away from work
Desperate need for certainty
Like organ music
Need to feel morally superior
Thought Jerry Falwell was cool
Shit was falling out of the sky
My shrubbery caught fire and a loud voice commanded me to do it
5. Have you ever worshipped a deity before? Is so, which false god were you fooled by?Please check all that apply:
Mick Jagger
Cthulhu
Baal
The Almighty Dollar
Bill Gates
Left Wing Liberalism
The Radical Right
Beelzebub
Barney T.B.P.D.
The Great Spirit
The Great Pumpkin
Elvis
Cindy Crawford
A burning shrubbery
Other: ________________
6. Are you currently using any other source of inspiration in addition to God?Please check all that apply:
Tarot
Astrology
Television
Fortune cookies
Psychic Friends Network
Dianetics
Palmistry
Playboy and/or Playgirl
Self-help books
Sex, Drugs, Rock and Roll
Biorhythms
Alcohol
Bill Clinton
Tea Leaves
The Internet
Mantras
Jimmy Swaggert
Crystals (not including Crystal Gayle)
Human Sacrifice
Pyramids
Wandering around a desert
Insurance policies
Burning shrubbery
Barney T.B.P.D.
Teletubbies
Other:_____________________
None
7. God employs a limited degree of Divine Intervention to preserve the balanced level of felt presence and blind faith. Which would you prefer (circle one)?a. More Divine Intervention
b. Less Divine Intervention
c. Current level of Divine Intervention is just right
d. Don't know...what's Divine Intervention?
8. God also attempts to maintain a balanced level of disasters and miracles.Please rate on a scale of 1 - 5 his handling of the following: (1=unsatisfactory, 5=excellent):
A: Disasters
flood 1 2 3 4 5
famine 1 2 3 4 5
earthquake 1 2 3 4 5
war 1 2 3 4 5
plaque 1 2 3 4 5
SPAM 1 2 3 4 5
WebTV 1 2 3 4 5
B: Miracles
rescues 1 2 3 4 5
spontaneous remissions 1 2 3 4 5
stars hovering over jerkwater towns 1 2 3 4 5
crying statues 1 2 3 4 5
water changing to wine 1 2 3 4 5
walking on water 1 2 3 4 5
VCRs that set their own clocks 1 2 3 4 5
getting any sex whatsoever 1 2 3 4 59. Do you have any additional comments or suggestions for improving the quality of God's services? (Attach an additional sheet if necessary):
If you are able to complete the questionnaire and return it to one of our conveniently located drop-off boxes by October 30 you will be entered in the One Free Miracle of Your Choice drawing (chances of winning are aproximately one in 6.023 x 10 to the 23rd power, depending on number of beings entered).
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37
Never Ending Jokes - Part II
by waiting inoops............ i tried to post back on the other thread and got an ugly looking "internal error" message.
seven's dire warning obviously had some validity to it, eh?.
the following was sent to me by prisca, remember her?
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outsider_looking_in
Religious Ideology
Taoism: Shit happens.
Confucianism: Confucius, he say: "Shit happens."Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
Zen Buddhism: Shit is, and is not.
Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of shit happening?
Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
Islam #2: If shit happens, take another hostage.
Islam #3: If shit happens, blame Israel.
Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.
Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.
Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen.
Episcopalian: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.
Methodist: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.
Congregationalist: Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that happens to another.
Unitarian: Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit that happens to another.
Lutheran: If shit happens, don't talk about it.
Fundamentalism: If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)
Fundamentalism #2: If shit happens to a televangelist, it's okay.
Fundamentalism #3: Shit must be born again.
Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to me?
Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work.
Seventh Day Adventism: No shit shall happen on Saturday.
Seventh Day Hoppist: Hop, Shit and Jump.
Creationism: God made all shit.
Secular Humanism: Shit evolves.
Christian Science: When shit happens, don't call a doctor - pray!
Christian Science #2: Shit happening is all in your mind.
Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this shit.
Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit.
Utopianism: This shit does not stink.
Darwinism: This shit was once food.
Capitalism: That's MY shit.
Communism: It's everybody's shit.
Feminism: Men are shit.
Chauvinism: We may be shit, but you can't live without us...
Commercialism: Let's package this shit.
Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden.
Idolism: Let's bronze this shit.
Existentialism: Shit doesn't happen; shit IS.
Existentialism #2: What is shit, anyway?
Stoicism: This shit is good for me.
Hedonism: There is nothing like a good shit happening!
Mormonism: God sent us this shit.
Mormonism #2: This shit is going to happen again.
Wiccan: As it harm none, let shit happen.
Scientology: If shit happens, see "Dianetics", Section 2, Chapter 4, p.157.
Jehovah's Witnesses: (Knock) (Knock) "Shit happens."
Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our shit?
Jehovah's Witnesses #3: Shit has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.
Moonies: Only really happy shit happens.
Hare Krishna: Shit happens, rama rama ding ding.
Rastafarianism: Let's smoke dis shit!
Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half of the time.
Church of SubGenius: BoB shits.
Practical: Deal with shit one day at a time.
Agnostic: Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.
Agnostic #2: Did someone shit?
Agnostic #3: What is this shit?
Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.
Atheism: What shit?
Atheism #2: I can't believe this shit!
Nihilism: No shit.
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20
Patriotism?
by proplog2 ini was raised a jw and during the 1950's i experienced the ugly side of flag worship.
date: 1960. place: midwestern industrial city.. scene: school gymnasium/auditorium.
2,000 students assembled to recognize the foreign exchange students.
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outsider_looking_in
Bye!
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Where do I get C of C book?
by dins ini would like to obtain the book, crisis of conscience.. is that something i can buy anywhere or do i have to special order if from somewhere?.
thanks for your help.. diana
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3
Promise a young man that death is not the end
by outsider_looking_in intaken from the guardian newspaper.
"could we get some otherwise normal humans and somehow persuade them that they are not going to die as a consequence of flying a plane smack into a skyscraper?
nobody is that stupid, but how about this - it's a long shot, but it just might work.
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outsider_looking_in
bttt
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3
Promise a young man that death is not the end
by outsider_looking_in intaken from the guardian newspaper.
"could we get some otherwise normal humans and somehow persuade them that they are not going to die as a consequence of flying a plane smack into a skyscraper?
nobody is that stupid, but how about this - it's a long shot, but it just might work.
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outsider_looking_in
Taken from the Guardian Newspaper
"Could we get some otherwise normal humans and somehow persuade them that they are not going to die as a consequence of flying a plane smack into a skyscraper? If only! Nobody is that stupid, but how about this - it's a long shot, but it just might work. Given that they are certainly going to die, couldn't we sucker them into believing that they are going to come to life again afterwards? Don't be daft! No, listen, it might work. Offer them a fast track to a Great Oasis in the Sky, cooled by everlasting fountains. Harps and wings wouldn't appeal to the sort of young men we need, so tell them there's a special martyr's reward of 72 virgin brides, guaranteed eager and exclusive.
Would they fall for it? Yes, testosterone-sodden young men too unattractive to get a woman in this world might be desperate enough to go for 72 private virgins in the next.
It's a tall story, but worth a try. You'd have to get them young, though. Feed them a complete and self-consistent background mythology to make the big lie sound plausible when it comes. Give them a holy book and make them learn it by heart. Do you know, I really think it might work. As luck would have it, we have just the thing to hand: a ready-made system of mind-control which has been honed over centuries, handed down through generations. Millions of people have been brought up in it. It is called religion and, for reasons which one day we may understand, most people fall for it (nowhere more so than America itself, though the irony passes unnoticed). Now all we need is to round up a few of these faith-heads and give them flying lessons.
Facetious? Trivialising an unspeakable evil? That is the exact opposite of my intention, which is deadly serious and prompted by deep grief and fierce anger. I am trying to call attention to the elephant in the room that everybody is too polite - or too devout - to notice: religion, and specifically the devaluing effect that religion has on human life. I don't mean devaluing the life of others (though it can do that too), but devaluing one's own life. Religion teaches the dangerous nonsense that death is not the end.
If death is final, a rational agent can be expected to value his life highly and be reluctant to risk it. This makes the world a safer place, just as a plane is safer if its hijacker wants to survive. At the other extreme, if a significant number of people convince themselves, or are convinced by their priests, that a martyr's death is equivalent to pressing the hyperspace button and zooming through a wormhole to another universe, it can make the world a very dangerous place. Especially if they also believe that that other universe is a paradisical escape from the tribulations of the real world. Top it off with sincerely believed, if ludicrous and degrading to women, sexual promises, and is it any wonder that naive and frustrated young men are clamouring to be selected for suicide missions?
There is no doubt that the afterlife-obsessed suicidal brain really is a weapon of immense power and danger. It is comparable to a smart missile, and its guidance system is in many respects superior to the most sophisticated electronic brain that money can buy. Yet to a cynical government, organisation, or priesthood, it is very very cheap.
Our leaders have described the recent atrocity with the customary cliche: mindless cowardice. "Mindless" may be a suitable word for the vandalising of a telephone box. It is not helpful for understanding what hit New York on September 11. Those people were not mindless and they were certainly not cowards. On the contrary, they had sufficiently effective minds braced with an insane courage, and it would pay us mightily to understand where that courage came from.
It came from religion. Religion is also, of course, the underlying source of the divisiveness in the Middle East which motivated the use of this deadly weapon in the first place. But that is another story and not my concern here. My concern here is with the weapon itself. To fill a world with religion, or religions of the Abrahamic kind, is like littering the streets with loaded guns. Do not be surprised if they are used."
