jst2laws: welcome, brother, to this Home, Sweet, Home. You will probably find more sincere and heartfelt concern for people here than I ever did from my fellow elders. I sympathise with you that you feel you do care for the brothers and sisters. So did I. I too had sleepless nights many times. The fact is, though, that if the basic theology is wrong, nothing you can do will stop your brothers and sisters being hurst. Until the elders face up to, and are instructed to, view themselves as sinners needing forgiveness, you will always have a Pharisee class IMHO. My conclusion after serving 35 years as an elder and in recent years at Bethel is that our fellow elders do not view themselves as sinners. Please read the account at Luke 7:36-50. Note especially verse 47: "By virtue of this, I tell you, her sins, many though they are, are forgiven, because she loved much; but he who is forgiven little, loves little." Please take this to heart. If you applied this, you would not be concerned with applying 'rules' or ks91, nor, in your heart, could you defend a man-made system that hurts so many.
DixieDarlin: Welcome to you, kid! Glad to have ya here. Many will say that you're too young. IMHO it's too late for that. I know, I was there too, many years ago. I loved her, she loved me, and we made whooppee till we were old and grey. Good luck to ya! But if you were my daughter I'd be concerned!!! Enjoy your visits here. We're mostly friendly. Simon, the host, is very generous.
Cheers,
Ozzie