Hey, sounds good to me. I would love to meet somone who understood my past, and wouldn't be scared away by my crazy jw relatives. Well, it would be nice to be understood anyway.
Pam
Posts by pamkw
-
53Add Singles Topic
by Francois inshould we ask simon to put a singles page on here?
like: "male seeks female with boat and motor.
must be able to clean and cook fish and remember to keep refrigerator stocked with beer at all times.
-
-
-
30
Do you miss the Kingdom Melodies?
by Candlestick02 injust curious.
i went to the 3rd church that i've ever stepped foot into after leaving the borg 3 years ago.
so, as i'm standing there (in the front row, i might add) for the musical worship portion of the service.. i felt like a big idiot.
-
-
pamkw
The only thing I really loved about the church I used to go to was the music. The pastor used to be in a rock band. They were loud and it was great. But I don't miss the KM, they are sad little songs that never got to grow up.
Pam
-
42
Alert: Women and Men who Care!!
by patio34 inthis is part of a fundamentalist "war" on women's rights, in my opinion.
i'm trying to get the word out to as many people as i can.
this just came across my screen.
-
-
pamkw
Why does non of this surprise me? I used to like Bush, but lately I am becoming sorry that I voted for him. He seems bent on dragging the country backwards.
Pam
-
82
What If Jehovah's Witnesses Are Right?
by shamus inthe "what if" thing comes to mind... no matter how much i strongly believe that they are not, what if armageddon happened tomorrow and they were correct?
would you have any sorrow for being wrong???.
i, personally would not.
-
-
pamkw
Who would want to spend forever with narrowminded, mean spirited people like my sister. I would rather be nothing than have to look at her forever. In fact when I was a jw, I used to think that dying and not feeling anything would be better than not being good enough.
Pam
-
52
Whats you favorite drink?
by Gadget ini just had a really bad day at work.
apart from what you'd normally expect from a 15 hr shift, tonight vitually everything that could go wrong did.
when i got home i decided to have a drink(the first since emans barbie!!!
-
-
pamkw
right now I am reading and drinking Amber Bock. I also like lagers of any type and used to drink MGD all the time.
Pam
-
35
The long, boring, and pointless story of CZAR - with happy ending!
by czarofmischief inhere it is, it took me two days to write and therefore nobody should actually be able to read it.. the purpose of writing a story like mine down serves two purposes.
first, i must find a coherent understanding and explanation of the events that have befallen me.
second, i hope that my story helps others in some way, to let them know that there is indeed "light at the end of the tunnel.
-
-
pamkw
Czar,
I fought for and got the diagnoses last year. He is on a truck load of medicines and after 3 long years of therapy things are better. The doctors knew what was wrong with him but wanted to wait until he was 16 to "label" him. I didn't want to have to suffer without proper meds and treatment. There was not point. So I read books and emailed doctors and forced a change. I can't stand mental health care professionals. School is starting now, and I am nervous but his special ed teacher seems cool. He is in a class of emotionally distrubed kids. They used to call it behavior disordered. I have a hard time holding a full time job as I need to be able to leave at the drop of a hat to go to school to get him when he melts down. Hopefully this year will be more peaceful.
Pam
-
7
Stripping away layers of guilt-Couldn't have done it without JWD
by pamkw ini come here a lot, read always and post sometimes.
what i have learned from this board would take to long to write.
so this is a thank you to simon and everyone else.
-
-
pamkw
I come here a lot, read always and post sometimes. What I have learned from this board would take to long to write. So this is a thank you to Simon and everyone else.
When I first stopped going to meetings I still thought like a jw. My mom could lay on the guilt, and it would stick like glue. I was so sure I was killing my children and I can married a non-believer. (we had actually been living together, but I told everyone we were married), and I was paralized by guilt. Then I got the internet. Then I waited a year to look up anything about jws or exjws. That was when I learned about the generation change, and the first BIG layer of guilt peeled right off me. I felt like my life was starting over. I was a good parent, and I was not killing my children. I was never going back. But I didn't know what to do.
I felt that I had to serve God so I jumped right into a church. The infactuation lasted for a couple of years. I went from being a jw,to being a fundy born again Christian. Not a lot of difference, just not as much guilt. At least not at first. This a new church and the pastor at first was very careful what he said not to offend anyone. Now after 4 years, he is telling people to tithe, and to do ministry. Always pushing doing something, even if you don't want to. At least to his credit, he promotes helping the community. But then the church started talking a little end time and hell stuff. Wait a minute.
During this time that I was reading so called christian books and doing lots of Bible reading I found this place.And started reading and reading. And using the search feature.
I have always wondered about where the Bible came from, how true it really is, the history of early man (watched walking with cavemen, and really enjoyed it). So I started searching what some of the smarter people here knew about such things. I have two computers, andon both I have saved many of the websites that are quoted here. In fact on the laptop the list of favs has gotten very long. My son even put them all in a special folder called Mom's stuff. The guilt I felt about having questions started to go away. I realized questions are okay.
Recently I stopped going to the church because I on longer feel the need. Maybe there is a creator, but I don't think he or she is the one talked about in the Bible. For the last few days I have been finally reading some of the websites on my saved list. And I have felt like a new person. I can choose to believe are not believe. And I have this list to thank. Last night I was reading about how historical research does not support the stories in the Bible. I felt like maybe I had known that all along. I got so carried away reading that it was 2 am before I even looked at the clock.
The guilt that I had been carrying because I had decided I didn't want to go to church or even be Christian anymore melted away. I don't have to feel guilty, or worry about what some unknown being thinks of me. Lately I have been feeling like a whole new person. And I love reading anything I want.
I could not have done it without all of you. I feel like a little kid just learning to read, thanks for showing me how to get myself back.
Pam
ps please excuse spelling mistakes, my son's love bird took the keys off my laptop a few months ago,so now some of them (like the spacebar) stick. I never knew a bird would do that.
-
35
The long, boring, and pointless story of CZAR - with happy ending!
by czarofmischief inhere it is, it took me two days to write and therefore nobody should actually be able to read it.. the purpose of writing a story like mine down serves two purposes.
first, i must find a coherent understanding and explanation of the events that have befallen me.
second, i hope that my story helps others in some way, to let them know that there is indeed "light at the end of the tunnel.
-
-
pamkw
Thanks for writing czar. I know a little bit about bipolar disorder as my 11 year old son has it. I am so glad I am not raising him as jw. Our life would have been hell. So happy things are going good for you now.
Pam
-
49
WHAT WOULD U DO IF YOU WON THE LOTTERY?
by Mary inif you won the lottery, what would you do?
would you continue to work?
how much would you give your family and friends?
-
-
pamkw
I buy a ticket every now and then. I would move away from my family. They are driving me nuts. I would buy a house and an RV so I could travel to places like the Grand Canyon and Yellowstone. I would hire a private tutor for my son. School is so stressful for him. I would probably buy my mom a nice place to live.I know her jw sensibilites would say she didn't like gambling, but she would not turn down a house or cold hard cash. I would help my sister finish getting her teaching degree. I would tell my jw little sister where she could stick any opinion of me she has. (Actually I am going to do that anyway, she just stated to other relatives she wishes I were dead.) Oh and I would never work again. But I would do something to help other single parents in ways I wish I could have gotten help when my kids were young.
It's a nice dream but it will never happen.
Pam
-
61
Disfellowshipping - How long to return?
by CaptK indoes anybody know how long it takes for one to get re-instated if you are not that well liked by the body of elders?
i was disfellowshiped for immorality almost 2 years ago.
with my job and attending college to keep in step with my field of work, i have only been attending the sunday talk & wt meeting every week.
-
-
pamkw
You will need to get your respect back on your own. Don't let them take it from you. Once you are df, even if you get back in the cong. will not treat you with respect. Once you make a mistake they will always expect the worst from you. I think that is why I was able to walk away a few years ago, I had made mistakes in my past and no one expected me to measure up. You are a great, important human being, don't let them take that away from you. I do understand your pain, I have been there myself in the past.
Life is less confusing and happier without them.
Pam