patio34

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Posts by patio34

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  14

  Suppose . . .?

  by patio34 in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  didn't know where to post this, but i thought it might be fun.

  it was in ann landers or some such place years ago.. if you had your life to live over, say from age 16 or 18 onward, what 5 things would you do differently?.

  my choices might be:.

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  patio34

  Reagan,
  I laughed out loud at your post--LOL!!

  Pomegranate,
  As usual, you offer a fresh perspective!

  Thinker's Wife, Being yourself, no matter what, is a great thing. I'm going to apply it right now in a sticky situation I'm in--thanks!

  Simon, I'd guess your kids aren't being quiet now!

  Jelly, I guess it's not too late to fulfill your major wish . . . . . .

  Prisca, boy, I wish I would have invested a lot of the $$ that I've wasted :( Oops! I guess you don't use $$, but another symbol. Money!

  Pat
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  29

  Heroin Overdose=Daughter=HELP!

  by patio34 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'm having a crisis in my family and really need some advice and even (((())))!.

  background:.

  daughter is 28-yrs-old.

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  patio34

  Hi Sis!

  Thanks for the chuckles. I always liked Erma Bombeck's 'Family Ties that Bind and Gag.'

  Things are reaching a boiling point between said daughter and me. She is insisting on having them back (for the 1st time in 10 weeks). I hemhawed a bit, suggesting that we keep it the way it is until she 'feels better,' not mentioning the heroin.

  She became enraged and out-of-control. The final statement by me to her is that if she does go get the kids at the daycare that I would report her and her situation to the Children's Protective Services.

  So, tomorrow may be critical. My psychologist said to not go there and let the authorities handle it. It seems that I have become the focal point of her rage and that she could attempt to hurt me or the kids to get back at me.

  What infuriated her most today is that her electricity was turned off and she demanded I pay it and I refused. Btw, I have spent literally thousands on her, shoring her up.

  My tack now is 'tough love' and let the pieces fall where they may. Hard as it is. Plus not being codependent anymore.

  Additionally, she told me today she has used heroin 10 times, whereas yesterday she said 5 times.

  It doesn't matter--I'll just let the authorities handle it.

  "And the hits just keep on comin'. . . "

  Thanks for listening, all!

  Pat

  P. S. and (((((((((to all))))))))!!!
• 
  19

  Advice requested on response to mom's letter

  by paulvarjak in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i received this recently from my mother.

  the only contact i've had with any of my family since october has been an occasional email.

  you are 28 years old and you made the choice to put yourself, and us, in this position.

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  patio34

  SilentLambs,

  While all of the advice is good, I like yours the best! It has often been my feeling that instead of THEM being mad, hurt, etc. by US, we should be mad, hurt, etc. at THEM.

  I have found that often in small ways when someone feels you are willing to take the treatment meted out to you, they feel more justified in doing it. However, if you set boundaries, and let it be known in whatever ways, people often back up and lighten up in their treatment.

  Pat
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  7

  WT May 1 & June 15, 2001

  by Defender in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the may 1 and june 15, 2001 watchtower issues have reading articles about helping widows through their trials and look after orphans and widows in their tribulation.

  both articles contain very healthful counsel, tips and recommendations to the grieving and needy and to those around them on how, and when to offer help and support.. the problem with these articles is not that the average jw or local congregation elders are not doing their part in helping out the needy.

  in fact, most individual jws are as compassionate and supportive as the average person.

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  patio34

  Kudos, Defender, on that very fine post.

  It seemed to me too that the problem with loneliness in the org stems from the organizational arrangement, not the individuals.

  The WTBS's position is the congregation is for the preaching work, not social activities. Or even charitable activities in an organized, ongoing arrangement.

  Other churches are SET UP to take care of this whereas the Borg leave it to hit-or-miss efforts of the individuals.
  And pushes, pressures, and prods for the hours of field ministry.

  Pat
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  29

  Heroin Overdose=Daughter=HELP!

  by patio34 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'm having a crisis in my family and really need some advice and even (((())))!.

  background:.

  daughter is 28-yrs-old.

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  patio34

  Thank you so much, all of you for your heartening words. I'll be printing out this thread and really using a lot of the suggestions made.

  Dark Angel, thank you for sharing your history with this problem. It really gives a lot of insight that I'll be applying when dealing with her. I'm afraid she is so hostile that any limited communication with her ends up in a tirade. Drugs bring out the worst in her. But in time she may settle down.

  OutnFree, a lot of practical points on guardianship. I will be pursuing that avenue very soon, I think.

  Kent and Abbaddon, Your compassionate viewpoints are so helpful. Right now, we are at the proverbial Mexican standoff, but I believe she'll cool down. At least I can remember my side of it and try to let my underlying motive be love.

  Zazu, that is an excellent suggestion about the churches. I never would have thought of and I'll be sure to follow up on that.

  Safe4kids, thanks for reminding me not to be consumed with guilt. That just paralyzes a person and leads no where. Besides, my daughter tries to maneuver me that way.

  OrangeBlossom, thank you for your kind thoughts.

  Mommy, I hadn't really thought about community resources so will be looking at that avenue also.

  It has been very helpful all this useful advice. Better than a book really, because it is so on target. I feel much better. THANKS A MILLION!!

  Pat
• 
  29

  Heroin Overdose=Daughter=HELP!

  by patio34 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'm having a crisis in my family and really need some advice and even (((())))!.

  background:.

  daughter is 28-yrs-old.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  patio34

  Hi all,

  I'm having a crisis in my family and really need some advice and even (((())))!

  Background:
  Daughter is 28-yrs-old. Has illegitimate 2 boys, ages 4.5 and 22 months. She has a long history of drug use since her teens. She also has an explosive temper.

  Multiple health problems also. Most recent and critical is epilepsy, which is why for 10 weeks the boys have been living with me. She is on Phenobarbitol for the epilepsy. Can't drive nor keep her kids by herself, because of risk of blacking out from seizure or falling into deep sleep from meds.

  Suspicion:
  For a while, the family (2 jw sons, 1 df'd son) have been suspicious of illegal drug use also.

  Crisis:
  2 days ago, on Sunday 6/17/01, she od'd on heroin and 'died' at the hospital, but was revived. Our suspicions were confirmed.

  I haven't talked to her since. I talked to Children's Protective Services yesterday re gaining custody, but they said it might be better to sit tight as long as she is cooperative in not wanting the kids at her house when she is alone.

  Immediate Problems:
  The State pays for day care while I work, but that is running out 6/29. Then I can't afford to pay it. The daughter says she will get another agency to pay for it, since she is disabled. But if she doesn't, then CPS says I can have her give me some kind of legal guardianship and I can obtain it.

  But all of that will take time I presume. In the meantime, day care for both of them costs 1000 a month!

  Options:
  Try to get custody of them now. Sit tight and take my 2 weeks vacation when $$ run out and then get funding. CPS says it could all blow up if they get involved because they have to prove that she is endangering them and see it for themselves. Even when she od'd she knew they were safe with me, so that doesn't count.

  I'm seeing a psychologist throughout all of this through my work. He says 'do you have any new friends since leaving your religion?' I say 'when, since I now have two children all the time? But I do have this discussion board to 'talk' to people.' He says 'use it for this too.'

  Oh, woe is me! Any ideas, experience in this area, guidance??

  Pat
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  28

  Why does the WTBTS survive?

  by Skimmer in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  back in late 1973 when i got my fatal doubts about the wtbts, i was sure that the society would crumble soon after 1975 when yet another prediction failed.

  i was not alone with this thought; a british author by the name of stevenson (an exjw that had written an expose) allocated an entire chapter in his book about the likelihood that there would be a very major falling away in 1976 or soon thereafter.. but it didn't happen.

  yes, there were several years of consecutive worldwide declines.

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  patio34

  Skimmer,

  Good question. Back to the original question of survival: I'm drawing on my recent reading on evolution.

  The comparison is critical mass. According to Richard Dawkins, once a species reaches so many individuals (critical mass) it becomes self-perpetuating.

  He likened it to a new music recording; at 1st it's on a few stations, then some records are sold, but once it hits 'critical mass' (exposure), it takes off on its own--everybody has to have it. Same with species.

  Also, imo, the same with institutions. WTBS is old, large, and pretty solid. It takes a while for it to wind down, and can run on momentum for some time.
  But it does wind down, as Metratron pointed out on his thread that it would be the coasting that would undo it.

  Dawkins explained it all better in his book, but it's late and I don't want to look it up.

  Pat

  "All religions die of the same disease, that of being found out."
  Pat
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  37

  Am I Codependent ? Now I'm a Bully?

  by Jang in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  a couple of people have claimed i am co-dependent ..... a few years back i had to go through this list and do the following: .

  codependents frequently:.

  codependents frequently:.

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  patio34

  Thanks Jan,

  This comes at a good time for me as there is a 'situation' in my family that has to be dealt with. Have to have a strong spine! This article helps. Keep up the helpful, good work--I appreciate it so much.

  Pat
• 
  7

  latest WT thoughts for the day

  by truman in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the august 1 wt arrived in my mailbox today.

  i eagerly ripped off the wrapper in anticipation of fresh spiritual gems.

  i was not disappointed.

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  patio34

  Truman,

  Thanks for going to the trouble of letting us (people like A Guest and myself who can't stomach a WT) know what the latest scary stuff is.

  But I am curious as to what is going on in the Borg. I'm scared to fall down the rabbit hole again, never to emerge!

  It continues to amaze me how quickly the whole house of cards (the 'present truth') came tumbling down for me, after 28 years. What took so long and why did it crumble within a week or two of investigation?

  Thanks for keeping us up-to-date. I always enjoy your posts.

  Pat
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  29

  what's your favorite color?

  by teejay in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  when i was a kid, i liked blue.

  royal blue.

  my brother liked.

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  patio34

  Teejay,

  Wel-l-l, it all depends on what the color is for: for clothes I prefer navy blue; for cars I would like a flame orange-red; for walls in my house it's a buttercream; for flowers in the house, violet; for accents, deep red.

  More than you ever wanted to know, huh?

  Pat