Posts by Kingpawn

8

you know's comments

by czarofmischief in

<p>i jsut read over some comments by someone named you know.

he made a convincing case that the wt is going to suffer judgement for what they have done.

i still believe in jehovah, but not in the wt, and this makes sense to me.

Kingpawn

Czar,

So, what I am thinking is, if our former brothers (since many of us are diffed or DA) are facing trials and persecutions, shouldn't those of us who still view ourselves as good, Godfearing people reach out and protect them as we are able to? For instance, when the Babylonians invaded Israel, God condemned the Edomites for betraying and fighting against their relatives the Israelites. So, we should put aside our resentments and such and try to protect our former families.

In the sense of showing Christian charity and the true spirit of what God (by whatever name you choose to call the Supreme Deity, if you believe in His/It's existence) wants people to do, sure. Or as an obligation as a citizen concerned for equal rights for all.

I'm not sure your anaolgy of the Edomites applies here. We who have been expelled or shunned were ousted before this hypothetical day of turmoil will come. And if it happens, won't it be the R&W dubs who should suffer as much as the leaders? After all, when Babylon is supposed to take a fall, no distinction is made between the clerics and laity. They all get it in the neck.

As far as putting aside resentments, that would be asking more of some people here than perhaps anyone on this earth has a right to ask of them. Not me so much as someone who's personally suffered because of being molested, who was really badly hurt from being shunned, or run out in a "star chamber" JC procedure.

4

What am I letting myself in for?

by Kingpawn in

many of you know i'm in a marriage that sucks and i plan to leave.

i'm thinking of listing my reasons to a therapist, asking if they see any flaws in my reasoning, anything i seem to be glossing over, am i rationalizing, you get the idea.. if they see nothing wrong, i plan to start making phone calls to get a lawyer.

here's where those of you who are divorced, especially the guys, can help.. what extra stresses am i to prepare for?

Kingpawn

TTBoy,

Cancel the credit card - if you have credit left she can go spend it all you have to pay for half.

Have been thinking of doing just that and letting her get her own card.

Freeze your checking account - put a hold on it - what ever. She can withdraw all the funds and leave you high and dry.

Have my own account and more than two grand stashed as an emergency fund, which I suppose she'll get half of it--not sure.

I know of someone that this happened to. Things can get real ugly. Talk to your lawyer and have everything ready BEFORE you let your wife know what's going on.

She knows I'm unhappy but probably thinks I gave up the idea.

You are entitled to half as well. Who's name is the car/s in? You could be left without a vehicle.

Each of us has our own car.

Take Care/Good Luck

Thanks for this and for the input.

4

What am I letting myself in for?

by Kingpawn in

many of you know i'm in a marriage that sucks and i plan to leave.

i'm thinking of listing my reasons to a therapist, asking if they see any flaws in my reasoning, anything i seem to be glossing over, am i rationalizing, you get the idea.. if they see nothing wrong, i plan to start making phone calls to get a lawyer.

here's where those of you who are divorced, especially the guys, can help.. what extra stresses am i to prepare for?

Kingpawn

Breeze,

I respond to the divorce, by saying that if you plan to re-marry in the future, where will you search for a new mate?

Maybe at work, and then again I may not at all--at least for a while.

I sincerely believe that replacing someone that has been a part of your life for many years is impossible. You will simply trade this steady replationship, with someone who will just bring a new set of problems and issues.

Possible. I'm not excusing myself from blame for what's happened. I've been thinking about what went wrong and use that as a basis for not making the same mistakes in the future.

The gay part of your argument you seem to be struggling with also.

I honestly don't know if I'm "struggling" with it or not. I had assumed I was accepting it quite well. And if someone had predicted in March I'd be feeling this way now, I'd've said it had happened before and might again, but I wouldn't know why it did before and/or why it would again.

All I can say now is I have the greatest reluctance to read gay-themed e-mail, visit my gay-related Yahoo groups, correspond with known gays/bis online, etc. I see the same contrast in personalities between "then" and "now" exactly as I did when I was religious and later backslidden and "out." That's why I seriously consider the idea that prayer by others is having an effect on my life. I've taken to reading the Bible more (my tries at getting answers to questions about Wicca got me more responses from people here than anywhere else, even groups for that purpose alone I'd joined briefly) and used the SelectSmart website (see "Q and A on choosing the right religion" thread if interested in knowing what I'm referring to) to find a group in line with my pre-existing beliefs...an interest in religion I haven't had in years.

Things will change consideralbly in the next few years for you. If you have a child that is 18, soon there will be offspring and then your relationship with your family will be different anyway. When they reach 18 or so, the children will be old enough to make their own legal decision about who they want in their life etc.

My oldest shows about as much interest in boys as she does driving--none. The youngest has the interest and also sometimes the personality of a pit bull.

They haven't said anything I can recall about wanting to live with me, especially since I may move out of town anyway. So okay.

So, if you arn't in a situation that is dangerous to you physically, I would reconsider and try to stay in it for a while.

Well, not directly, but as far as the stress, who knows?

I guess I'd ask if it benefits either of us for me to stay? That's one thing I'm hoping a therapist can clarify.

Thanks for the input.

7

The Rules for Men

by teenyuck in

jw
friends

i got this off of an epilepsy db....i am not sure if the guy who submitted it was joking or not.

we always hear "the rules" from the female side.

now here are the rules.

Kingpawn

Agree with--1, 3, 7, 10, 11, 16, 21, 22 (most definitely), 23.

Kind of agree with--6

Take issue with/disagree--4, 9, 14. There's a woman at work I find very attractive who's maybe 5'3" and I'd guess 130, 135 pounds. But she's a bit heavy all over instead of her looking like it all went to her hips. From what I see on my wife I'd say this co-worker's children were by Cesearean too. But I'd jump at the chance to ask her out.

35

another fun psych test, try it

by terabletera in

jw
friends

> > make sure to change the score on the subject line.

> > b) make a quiet entrance, looking around for.

> > to your head.

Kingpawn

I picked "c" for number one, and none of the answers for three and four applied. How do I score those? Or am I just a misfit?

Come to think of it, on the previous thread about the girl at her mother's funeral--I had multiple answers. Now I know the reason. I have multiple personalities. What a relief!

6

Fruits of the Spirit & Works of the Flesh

by Matty in

jw
friends

as a loyal witness, i often considered the words of

galatians 5:22,23

the apostle paul's words there list what are known as the "fruitages of the spirit".

Kingpawn

Matty,

Fruitages of the spirit:

Love--this can be an aftereffect of a "work of the flesh" like fornication. Does that mean it's good or bad?
Joy--this can be an aftereffect of a "work of the flesh" like fornication. Does that mean it's good or bad?
Peace
Long-suffering--tell me about it!
Kindness
Goodness--what am I, a Keebler elf?
Faith
Mildness
Self-control--well, I don't er, uh, self-abuse myself as much as I used to...how's that?

"The works of the flesh". Looking at the list here, they all seem like a lot of fun to me:

Works of the flesh:

Fornication--as Jeff Foxworthy says, "Oh yeah baby oh yeah yeah right there!"
Uncleanness--can't help it on my job. All that beef blood and stuff.
Loose conduct--iow, am I or am I not a slut?
Idolatry--sure. I worship the female form.
Practice of spiritism--nahh. Don't drink.
Enmities--hey, I got your @#$%^ emnities right here pal!
Strife
Jealousy--I'm jealous of at least one husband who doesn't know me at all.
Fits of anger--no, dammit, and don't you ever say that to me again!
Contentions--not as long as people admit I'm right.
Divisions--only with a calculator. Does that count?
Sects--INsects, DISsects, REsects, what?
Envies--see "Jealousy."
Drunken bouts--see "Practice of spiritism."
Revelries--well if I don't drink, how the hell am I gonna revel? What on? Slimfast diet milkshakes?

Like the "Fruits of the spirit" I am now working on this list too. I am now at "enmities" today, and as soon as I can figure out what on Earth it is, I will give it a try.

Matty, you have got to get on the ball here. The year's almost over!

Now, I'm really interested, in both the good people of jw.com and the bad. So what "Fruit of the Spirit" or "Work of the Flesh" are you all working on today?

Pretty much as many of the "works" as I can ~~get away with~~ and a few "fruits" because they're good for my spiritual "diet."

16

Talk by a Branch Overseer

by Defender in

jw
friends

a branch overseer of an asian country who happened to be visiting some of his family members in our area, gave a talk this evening in the hall that i used to attend.

i have not been attending meetings for months, but decided to go when my mother, a devout jw, came to visit me last week.

the branch overseer had just returned from attending the annual meeting in new york.

Kingpawn

The 1799 date is also mentioned in The Harp of God (1921 edition, page 230). And yet, barely a year later, they're claiming 1925 just as infallibly as they'd claimed 1914 was the date!

Sounds more like a new calendar than new light.

Edited by - Kingpawn on 13 October 2002 8:12:35

4

What am I letting myself in for?

by Kingpawn in

many of you know i'm in a marriage that sucks and i plan to leave.

i'm thinking of listing my reasons to a therapist, asking if they see any flaws in my reasoning, anything i seem to be glossing over, am i rationalizing, you get the idea.. if they see nothing wrong, i plan to start making phone calls to get a lawyer.

here's where those of you who are divorced, especially the guys, can help.. what extra stresses am i to prepare for?

Kingpawn

Many of you know I'm in a marriage that sucks and I plan to leave. I'm thinking of listing my reasons to a therapist, asking if they see any flaws in my reasoning, anything I seem to be glossing over, am I rationalizing, you get the idea.

If they see nothing wrong, I plan to start making phone calls to get a lawyer. Here's where those of you who are divorced, especially the guys, can help.

What extra stresses am I to prepare for? Some are obvious, like new financial obligations, solitude, irritability from not being able to keep my mind off it perhaps, long court delays perhaps, though that will cut down on the eventual child support, and isn't the system screwed up when you have to game it like that to save a few bucks--what am I overlooking?

We have two children, one of whom is a junior in high school and will be 18 next September. Joint property includes one house, one checking account, and one credit card--she uses it, I don't.

I know my being gay (and I'm wondering about that* recently) will be used against me. I'm ready to concede ownership of the house, let her have the one credit card, and the checking account. Give up child custody too--I'm not really sure I'd be welcome around here by them afterwards anyway.

Child support wouldn't be for long far as I know. Solitude doesn't bother me...stupid as it sounds, I think I blindly took my half-sister's advice and got married out of lonliness (I think the family knew I was bi at the time). Can't keep my mind off of my home life...at work I barely think about it. Some aspects of my job don't allow the time and distraction, and I've got a temper anyway.

Comments?

* Lately strong heterosexual urges have resurfaced in me. I say "re" because it happened last December for a few weeks and then died out. In dreams/fantasies/whatever I see myself being romantic and being sexual at times. I plan to ask if it means (1) I'm gay and having issues with it, (2) I'm bi and the "straight" side of me's returned with a vengeance, or (3)have I grossly misread things going on that I thought indicated I was gay? Like no sexual interest in sex with women, which I hadn't had before and which I assumed was pretty good proof of where I stood. Another possibility I don't mention to be funny...the power of prayer by others, like my wife?

Part of it came from the thread where people were asked if they had a happy marriage. Maybe it put a bug in my ear, maybe it made me realize what I didn't have and suddenly I missed it...I don't know.

I just know I'm tired.

19

What would you do?

by troucul in

here's a thought...in order to make three people whom you care about happy ,you had to sacrifice your own happiness, would you do it?.

bring it on....

Kingpawn

Troucul,

I am in an unhappy marriage with two children and I feel exactly like you do when you ask why you have to be the strong one. Maybe it would have been different for me if she hadn't explored the possibility (hell, let's admit it, she actually tried) of having me locked up in a mental hospital.

Another poster asked how people can fall out of love? How do you fall in love? Now reverse the process. Earlier you spent lots of time with s/he. You were motivated to do special things for this person. What they said and did mattered.

Throw in time, the growing impermanance of things around us (I have cartridge pens where I replace the ink holder, not the whole pen, but it's cheaper nowadays for Bic or whoever to make a whole new pen than just a refiller to put inside the old pen shell, as one example), money worries and working more and more hours to make ends meet, less free time, and emotion gradually dies off, like the embers of a campfire. Sometimes the flame can be fanned anew, but other times, you're better off leaving.

Children will be hurt if they (1) are made to feel they're the reason why or (2) are forced to take sides in a loyalty battle. My advice there: if your wife does that, never reply in kind. Tell them you love them and people sometimes just can't make a go of it. They'll draw the proper conclusions on their own.

Ask yourself this: if you feel suicide is a distinct possibility, what will hurt them more--if you reunite with your wife, the children think things will be better, and one day you take your own life and they're devastated, or you leave, and keep them in your life while building a new one? And if she's a vengeful type, what might she tell them about you after you're gone that they'll think must be true (look what you did, they'll think) and you won't be there to rebut her?

I'm planning on starting a thread in Personal Experiences asking what I'm letting myself in for as far as stress during a divorce. You might want to read the answers I get. May help you make a decision.

I won't say you should do this or not do this, but it's obvious which side of the question I come down on. It's just too easy for those of us who don't have to suffer from bad advice we give out to give it out!

Good luck in whatever you decide. And bro, you're getting counseling right here. We don't have degrees in the field (most of us) but we can empathize far more.

29

What does this scripture mean to you?

by Valis in

jw
friends

i brought this up during the beginnings of the flame war we just encountered and it got overlooked.

for all of you who follow the bible/or not.

luke 9.

Kingpawn

BTW JanH, welcome back. Missed your posts.