My sister came back to all this after many years out. She now says to me she understands why she left in the first place. She still wants to stick to it all but now she is very careful who she chooses as her friends. Not everyone is the same. Like me she feels it's best to chose those you can trust, who are non-judgemental and are caring. Genuine ones like this do exist and they are to be treasured. They won't look down on you, gossip about you, patronize you or judge you. Admitted they are few and far between but they are precious. If you can find them then everyone else can be forgotten and ignored. Just don't let these competitive, self-righteous women get to you. Think of those in your life who give you pleasure and joy and stick to them, forget everyone else. You owe them nothing.
tornapart
JoinedPosts by tornapart
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51
Rivalry among the sisters
by Esmeralda001 inwhen i was first introduced to the "truth", i was so distracted by the love and affection that the members were showing me that i was ready to convert into the religion without thinking twice.
i was conviced that jws were god's people (i still think some of them are).
i made it my goal to get baptized as i wanted to be part of the "only" religion that produce such good people.
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American accents, Bette Midler, Clinton, Rick Fearon, Strathclyde, Morningside
by slimboyfat ini used to enjoy being able to distinguish different local accents, but for some reason i've got worse at it.
i was thinking about this today when i was listening to bette midler on the scottish radio.
i thought to myself i quite liked her accent and also that it reminded me of someone else.
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tornapart
I'm with you on this Slim... I can identify most Brit accents.. even the difference between someone from Liverpool and Manchester, just a few miles apart.... but someone from the US... a big no! LOL I can pick out a Canadian accent usually, which is quite useful because I don't think any Canadian wants to be thought of as from the US!! (the same as a Scotsman doesn't want to be thought of as English) ;) -
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People keep sending me messages saying "what happened?"
by slimboyfat ini am sorry i haven't replied and if it seems rude.
but people keep asking me what happened and i am not sure what to say.
thanks for writing anyway.
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tornapart
Just glad to see you back Slim. Whatever reasons you had for going away and then coming back again are yours alone and you don't need to explain it to any of us. I've always enjoyed your posts so all I can say great to see you here again!
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46
A question .....
by Landy inhi guys - new poster here.
i was brought up a jw in the uk and stopped going not long after i was married.
that was 20 years ago so i'm not really up to date with the current doctrinal flip flops or the new youtube obsessed gb.. came across this site while googling the name of a local elder who's just been convicted of possesion of a pc full of unpleasant pics of kids.. so, my question.
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tornapart
One of the few things I've learned in this life is that first and foremost you have to be true to yourself. If you can't be true to yourself then you can't be true to anyone else.
Taking the long slow haul instead of the fast route out doesn't mean for one minute that one is being untrue to oneself. I'd rather do it the slow way and keep my relationships intact (especially at my age) than to find myself totally alone. It must be great for those that have no consequences to suffer by doing it the quick way. There are many that have done it the quick way and are suffering a lot of emotional pain as a result. Everyone has to do what is best for them, be it quick or slow. No-one else can say what is the right way to go for another person.
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A question .....
by Landy inhi guys - new poster here.
i was brought up a jw in the uk and stopped going not long after i was married.
that was 20 years ago so i'm not really up to date with the current doctrinal flip flops or the new youtube obsessed gb.. came across this site while googling the name of a local elder who's just been convicted of possesion of a pc full of unpleasant pics of kids.. so, my question.
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tornapart
Hi Landy, it's very hard! For me it's been a long slow process. I first realised it was all nothing more than being in a cult was 4 years ago. All my family were still in, hubby (an elder), grown children, mother, sister. Just leaving would have alienated them all. Over those years I've gradually let them all know how I feel. My elderly mother has since passed, making it easier to leave. Now I just attend once in a while for hubby's sake, children are gradually awakening to it all. My best friend and her family are also slowly awakening. I'm 4 months into becoming inactive.... sometimes you have to take it slow so you don't end up losing everyone you love. -
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Untrusted
by Esmeralda001 ingreetings,it seems that jw immediately assume that all "wordly" people (as they like to call it) are immoral and unworthy of their trust.
i sort of understand how it can be dangerous for a christian to have association with someone who doesn't share their values, but don't you think that some members take the conceal lied in corinthians 15:33 to the extreme?
what about romans 2:14?
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tornapart
Esmerelda, they don't trust anybody! You could be a 70 year old spinster with a face like the back end of a bus and they'd be worried about a brother taking you home.... alone in a car.... it's normal for Jws. Everyone has to have a chaperone or else they'd be getting up to all sorts of hankypanky.... believe me, they think anyone on their own with a member of the opposite sex is going to be immoral. They say it's 'innappropriate'. -
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The value of starting a new topic
by smiddy ini see some members , who have been on this board for many ,many years , who very seldom posted a topic for discussion..i would like to encourage everyone in this situation to re-think there reasons for not starting a subject for discussion.. sometimes after the event , i have thought to myself why did you start that topic ,stupid, however on reading the replies to that said topic , i have learnt a helluva lot more in having done so .in other words i learn a great deal more from the feedback i get from you guys than the question or statement i post.. you might think your question or statement is irrelevant , however to somebody else on this board it may just be the thing they are looking for to help them get through some issue of there own .. so please don`t hold back from posting a subject dear to your heart , or anywhere else .. just saying .
smiddy.
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tornapart
I remember starting one a few years ago and it was like opening a can of worms. LOL It got over 400 comments and turned into quite a fascinating debate. (Titled 'If man evolved?') It seemed to take on a life of it's own and certainly gave me plenty to think about.
Having said that I think for me the best subjects are from various ones who are coping with the situation they find themselves in, especially having family members still in whilst they are mentally and either fully or partially out themselves. It really helps my own situation reading about other's experiences.
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How about a CAPCHA test for ANY new post?
by Nathan Natas inmaybe it would be possible to turn the capcha test off for a user after they have "survived" ten posts without being thrown into gehenna?.
there must be some days it seems like a thankless pain-in-the-ass, but you are rendering a truly life-saving service.. love ya, dude, (and dude-harad and all the little dudettes) in an appropriate and totally manly way!.
- your idiot fellow traveller..
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tornapart
What's happened with only being able to post a certain number of posts as a new member? Has this Nora Batty somehow got past that? -
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Survey: How long were you in the cult vs what year you were baptized
by ILoveTTATT2 inhi people,.
i want as much data as possible on the effect of the internet on the time captured by the cult.. please answer the three following questions about yourself or about someone you know (for example, if your parents or grandparents were jw's and left).
1) were you raised as a jw, or did you convert?.
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tornapart
1) Raised
2) 1973
3) 2011
Time in: 38 years
and yes if it wasn't for the internet.........who knows?
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Which Spiritual belief system or non belief system is right for you?
by Giordano inwe have done this before but we have a fair number of newbie's on this site and some are struggling with the question about other belief systems and non belief.
where are you now in your own mind?
here's a quiz http://www.selectsmart.com/nontheism/ that is pretty accurate, at least in my case as to where i am at this point in my life.
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tornapart
Oh dear... I call myself a christian and yet apparently I am an agnostic with buddhist leanings... my top one was strong agnostic 100% ..... how did that happen? Maybe Cofty is right in his 'really, really really don't know'.... LOL