peaceloveharmony

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Posts by peaceloveharmony

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  6

  check out your horoscope

  by peaceloveharmony in

  1. social
  2. humour

  your horoscopes, onion style :) .

  aries (mar.

  you will be loud, obnoxious and a little erratic this week but somehow, this will only add to your charm.

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  peaceloveharmony

  i'm an aries, "You will be loud, obnoxious and a little erratic this week — but somehow, this will only add to your charm. "

  but i just realized that fits pretty much all the time! haha

  imbue, i'll still love ya even if ya refuse to do christmas hun
• 
  6

  check out your horoscope

  by peaceloveharmony in

  1. social
  2. humour

  your horoscopes, onion style :) .

  aries (mar.

  you will be loud, obnoxious and a little erratic this week but somehow, this will only add to your charm.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  peaceloveharmony

  your horoscopes, onion style :)

  May 6-12, 2002
  
  aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th)
  You will be loud, obnoxious and a little erratic this week — but somehow, this will only add to your charm. (We never said, any of this astrology stuff had to make sense.)

  taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th)
  If you're the kind of person who holds the stare with a stranger longer, crosses a crowded room to initiate a conversation with said stranger, asks for a first date first, steals the first kiss, calls within two hours of leaving their apartment in the morning, sends flowers that afternoon, invites them to a family vacation the next day . . . well, then, just stop it! The thrill of the chase — ever heard of it? How about, Playing hard to get? No? Look: Calm, cool and collected are the ingredients for your booty recipe this week. Sit back, get laid back, get laid.

  gemini (May 21st-June 21st)
  A rolling stone gathers no moss. Then again, a rolling stone is a pain in the ass to hang around with. You want to watch a movie, they just want to roll down a hill; you want to go to dinner, they just want to roll down a hill; you want to spoon, they just want to roll down a hill. Moss is nice. Moss is soft and green. Moss is comfy to nap on in the woods.

  cancer (June 22nd-July 22nd)
  Remember in Junior High there was that one girl who thought it was really cool to break down and weep at every party? She thought it made her seem complex and cute; just like in all those Molly Ringwald movies. She used to hug her knees and rock back and forth as "Total Eclipse of the Heart" played on a cassette in the background. She thought the guys would all want to swoop in and take her to a happier place. Yeah, well, it still doesn't work — not for her, and definitely not for you.

  leo (July 23rd-Aug. 22nd)
  Did you get a new haircut? A new outfit? Have you been working out? Gone vegetarian? Finally discovered the simple joys of a finger up your bum during onanism? Whatever it is, it's given you a glow this week that cannot be ignored. Like mosquitoes to bright neon zappers, hotties will flock to you just to get burned.

  virgo (Aug. 23rd-Sept. 22nd)
  See the horoscopic advice we've given to Taurus, then just subtract the getting laid part. Unfortunately, all the people chasing you this week will probably be duds. Best to sit back, get laid back, and just take a nap.

  libra (Sept. 23rd-Oct. 23rd)
  Remember that Paul Newman quote about infidelity: "Why would I go out for a hamburger when there is steak waiting for me at home every night?" We give the sentiment two thumbs up (yay monogamy!), but the analogy is a little weak. Sometimes you do just want a hamburger, right? Especially when you've got no steak at home. You're just thinking ketchup, onions, tomato, cheese, the works. Especially this week. And right now, no one's making you choose between hamburger, steak, sausage, chicken, and the other white meat — so why should you? Just make sure that next week, you stick to lettuce leaves and carrots to give your heart (and soul, and genitals) a break.

  scorpio (Oct. 24th-Nov. 22nd)
  In the early stages of dating, you gotta sell the sizzle, not the steak. Play hard to get.

  sagittarius (Nov. 23rd-Dec. 21st)
  You may be in the mood, but whomever you're with will be looking for a commitment. Be sure you know what you're doing. Don't let your heart rule your head, or you may end up in a sticky situation. Note: This horoscope is null and void for Lo's Sagittarius boyfriend.

  capricorn (Dec. 22nd-Jan. 20th)
  We kinda hate the saying "No one on their death bed ever wished they worked more." Obviously, people who use that phrase are lazy, unmotivated, and don't stress as much as they should. We know you're with us on this one, Cappy. That said, working late this week could apparently really mess up your chances of finding true romance, or at the very least, hot sex. We know, we can hardly believe it ourselves. Just force yourself to indulge in some social time this week, or you could end up on your deathbed saying, "If only I'd had more sex."

  aquarius (Jan. 21st-Feb. 18th)
  Remember that scene in Naked Gun where Leslie Nielson says, "Everywhere I look, I see reminders of her" — and then the camera pans to two massive concrete bunkers that look like erect boobies, right next to a skyscraping phallus. That's what you've got to look forward to this week. But don't go humping cold, hard, unfeeling concrete structures just to scratch that itch: Warm human flesh may be easier to come by than you think. You just gotta ask. (Just don't ask them to come over and watch Naked Gun on video.)

  pisces (Feb. 19th-Mar. 20th)
  Sure, go right ahead and open your heart to that hottie you just met. Tell them all your hopes and dreams; admit to your deepest, darkest secrets; show them the porn collection under your bed; invite them home to meet your weird parents; leave a toothbrush in their bathroom; ask them their opinion on joint checking accounts. Just don't come crying to us when that hottie departs so fast they leave skid marks.

  http://personals.theonion.com/personals/horoscopes/05_06_02/

  how come the last 10 minutes of work always goes the slowest?????
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  2

  Joe bless you!

  by Elsewhere in

  1. social
  2. humour

  he loves you, and he needs money!

  doesn't give a shit, which i admire in a person, and which would explain a lot of these bad results.. so rather than be just another mindless religious robot, mindlessly and aimlessly and blindly believing that all of this is in the hands of some spooky incompetent father figure who doesn't give a shit, i decided to look around for something else to worship.

  first of all, i can see the sun, okay?

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  peaceloveharmony

  lmao, thank you david! i love carlin :)
• 

  the lord has spoken!

  by peaceloveharmony in

  1. social
  2. humour

  god re-floods the middle east .

  jerusalemin what theological and meteorological authorities are calling "a wrathful display of old testament proportions," the lord almighty re-flooded the middle east tuesday, making good on last week's threat to wipe the region clean if there was not an immediate halt to the bloodshed between arabs and jews.. the lord made the decision to go ahead with his second great flood after last-ditch u.s.-saudi peace initiatives were rejected monday night.. "the lord thy god has warned you and warned you, but you have, in your hatred and selfishness, chosen to turn away from him," read a press statement from god, delivered by seraphim and cherubim acting as his earthly agents.

  "prepare now to face his wrath and be drowned beneath the cleansing waters of his righteous rage.

• 

  peaceloveharmony

  :)

  GOD RE-FLOODS THE MIDDLE EAST

  JERUSALEM—In what theological and meteorological authorities are calling "a wrathful display of Old Testament proportions," the Lord Almighty re-flooded the Middle East Tuesday, making good on last week's threat to wipe the region clean if there was not an immediate halt to the bloodshed between Arabs and Jews.

  The Lord made the decision to go ahead with His second Great Flood after last-ditch U.S.-Saudi peace initiatives were rejected Monday night.

  "The Lord thy God has warned you and warned you, but you have, in your hatred and selfishness, chosen to turn away from Him," read a press statement from God, delivered by seraphim and cherubim acting as His earthly agents. "Prepare now to face His wrath and be drowned beneath the cleansing waters of His righteous rage. Children of Israel and Palestine, you who would not repent your sinful ways and live together as God's children, prepare to face your doom under the unstoppable deluge of the Lord's retribution."

  As of press time, a torrential rain continues to fall on Israel and the West Bank, with the downpour expected to continue for another 39 days and 39 nights. Thus far, flood waters have risen more than 200 feet, drowning most of the humans and animals in the vicinity. The few remaining survivors, most of whom cling to pieces of driftwood, have made desperate pleas for mercy, but their cries have fallen on deaf ears in Heaven, with the Lord refusing to stem the raging waters.

  Though regretful over the severity of God's punishment, Mideast peace negotiators nonetheless praised Him for coming up with the first-ever viable solution to the ongoing crisis.

  "Yahweh, or Allah, depending on what name you choose to call Him, has finally brought to bear upon this place a direct route to peace," said former president Jimmy Carter, who in 1978 brokered the Camp David Accords, one of the region's many short-lived peace agreements. "Lord knows that I and many others before and since Camp David have done our best to find a way for these two peoples to stop the killing and hatred, to no avail. But God, in His infinite wisdom, realized that it just isn't worth it anymore, and that the best thing to do is cut His losses, drown the whole lot of them, and start fresh once the raging waters subside."

  In spite of repeated warnings from God, the flood came as a major surprise to Israeli and Palestinian leaders, who believed He would keep the promise He made following the Great Flood of Noah never to drown the planet again. Confident that God would honor the "Rainbow Covenant," Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon and Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat rejected the 11th-hour peace deal proposed by the joint U.S. and Saudi delegation.

  "I believe Arafat and Sharon thought the Lord was bluffing and wrongly assumed they could call His bluff rather than make peace with each other," said Timothy Uselmann, a professor at Harvard's Center For Middle Eastern Studies. "Evidently, they were wrong. God has sent a strong message here: Obey His commands, or face certain peril at His hand."

  Speaking on behalf of the Lord, an unnamed, non-denominational representative of Heaven said: "God only promised humanity that He would never again flood the entire Earth. He never said He wouldn't flood specific areas."

  The most recent, clearest sign of the Second Deluge came last Thursday, when a tersely worded press statement from God's angelic hosts ominously stated, "If there are any species native to the area that you would prefer not to see go extinct, we strongly suggest you begin gathering them two by two."

  In spite of this and other such warnings, Palestinian suicide bombings and the Israeli military's West Bank tank assault continued after God's April 21 cease-fire deadline passed.

  "For too long, thou hast ignored the entreaties of thy Lord to let go of your wickedness and hatred and live together in peace, My children," God said. "Thou hast refused the lion to lie down with the lamb, and My rod and staff have been of no comfort to you. Instead, you have continued to kill each other without ceasing. The time has come for that to stop. You want to keep running each other over with tanks and strapping dynamite to yourselves, killing women and children in pursuit of your extremist political positions, that's just fine. Let's see how well you carry out your murderous agendas under 800 feet of water."

  http://www.theonion.com/onion3816/god_re-floods_middle_east.html

  definitely click the link, the pictures are funny
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  40

  The sob story continues,,,

  by Elsewhere in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i think i may have pissed off the gods or something.

  ;) my luck just turned further south... i just totaled my car.. i was coming around the bend where 360 north exits to the 183 east and west fork in arlington texas.

  as i came around, there was suddenly a long line of stopped cars.

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  peaceloveharmony

  most (all now??) states require front seat passengers and children under 12 anywhere in a vehicle to wear their seatbelts. there are also infant/toddler car seat laws etc.
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  9

  Carmegeddon and The Chickens of the Apocalypse

  by Valis in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  valis' day: .

  flat tire before leaving work......replacement $44.00 and 1.5 hours wasted.. mother of kids calls just to let me know she's moving away again, for a new job and a free place to live in south texas.

  just when you think that paying your child support on time for 3 years, mending one's ways and spending more time w/kids, plus helping them pack up and move to a new place just a month ago, will pay off in the end...... what was i thinking?

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  peaceloveharmony

  hey val, lisa's correct, i do work in child support and have worked with texas before. you've got my email and number, contact me if you need anything.

  hugs

  love
  harmony
• 
  40

  The sob story continues,,,

  by Elsewhere in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i think i may have pissed off the gods or something.

  ;) my luck just turned further south... i just totaled my car.. i was coming around the bend where 360 north exits to the 183 east and west fork in arlington texas.

  as i came around, there was suddenly a long line of stopped cars.

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  peaceloveharmony

  ((((((dave))))))

  oh thank dog you are okay!!!! accidents are scary. my adrenaline is pumping just thinking about it!

  get some rest, maybe see a doc about the neck. take care of yourself!

  love
  harmony

  ps. that megadude, what a wonderful guy ((((jerry))))
• 
  17

  I blew off a 25 min. service meeting part tonite

  by Leander in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i told the presiding overseer that i'd probably be late getting home from work.

  but i actually spent my time driving around and enjoying the spring weather.. in other news i'll be going in for a job interview tomorrow within the company.

  i'm really hoping i land this job, because as soon as i can secure a new position (my old one is being phased out) i'll be exiting the stage of the jw comedy of errors.. .

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  peaceloveharmony

  leander, you bad bad boy!

  i love it!

  can't wait to read all about your exit to freedom and your journey out

  hugs to ya!

  love
  harmony

  ps. good luck on the interview tomorrow! crossing fingers for ya hun
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  16

  I'M FREAKING OUT!

  by SPAZnik in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  today my best friend from the borg called me!

  ok.. i've been officially out for almost a year now.. no contact with former "friends" & "family".. (just my mom checks up on me now and then,.

  fishing for info on my "activities".

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  peaceloveharmony

  spaz, very good to hear it turned out great :) i'm betting she will contact you more and more once she gets more and more comfortable talking with a da'd/df'd person.

  love
  harmony
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  40

  Long time no type! What's up?

  by SlayerLayer in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hey everybody!

  who missed me?

  i've missed you guys a lot.

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  peaceloveharmony

  hehe a single slayer! oh boy, we are in trouble now ;)