Thanks everyone, particularly EdenOne and DJS (although i have no idea who Nancy Kerrigan is). No ones saying im getting back with her guys. Her plan is to move hall then never turn up.
pale.emperor
JoinedPosts by pale.emperor
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42
My Ex Wife Admitted She Doesnt Believe It's The Truth
by pale.emperor inmy ex-wife actually opened up to me today over the phone.
she was quite anxious and, i could sense, i little upset.
for those that dont know my situation im separated from my wife.
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38
What Were Your Elders Real World Jobs?
by pale.emperor inwe all know that education is severely demonized in this religion.
and that the elders are appointed based on how many meetings they attend, hours they put in on the ministry and general attitude to other elders (as apposed to, you know, actual theological training and counseling) - so my question is, what were your elders occupations outside the kingdom hall?.
in my old congregation our elders consisted of:.
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pale.emperor
We all know that education is severely demonized in this religion. And that the elders are appointed based on how many meetings they attend, hours they put in on the ministry and general attitude to other elders (as apposed to, you know, actual theological training and counseling) - so my question is, what were your elders occupations outside the Kingdom Hall?
In my old congregation our elders consisted of:
A bus driver
Two gardeners
A window washer
An office stationery monitor
The only one with any real education was one that taught blind kids to read braille. And fair play to him for that - credit where credit's due.
So imagine my surprise when the two gardeners and the stationery monitor tell me off for questioning 607 BCE which a pastry chef in Bethel had probably thought up one day.
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38
Were Conventions, Asemblies and the Memorials boring to you?
by HereIgo inconventions always just seemed like more of a vacation to me than anything else, especially if you had to travel out of town for it, but definitely were exhausting especially toward the end of each day.
for some reason i didn't mind the special and circuit assemblies too much, probably because they seemed like more of a social event than anything else and only 1-2 days.
the memorial always was kind of boring to me.
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pale.emperor
They were all boring. I can honestly say i've only ever listened to about 9 talks with 100% attention in my 31 years as a Jdub. And that was from a few CO's that i thought were really good speakers.
Conventions were boring as hell but, to be honest, my pals and I went with the intention to meet girls.
Memorial was boring and only ever exciting when someone decided this year that they were anointed. Would they do it again next year? Or if a born again turned up and partook.
Watchtower study was boring and was a great cure for insomnia if you were pre-studying at home at night.
All in all, what could have been interesting subjects or ideas were presented in very boring ways by people with no real training in public speaking. Our elders consisted of a bus driver, two gardeners, a window washer and a part time office stationery monitor. The only one with any real education was one that taught blind kids to read braille (and fair play to him for that - credit where credit's due).
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42
My Ex Wife Admitted She Doesnt Believe It's The Truth
by pale.emperor inmy ex-wife actually opened up to me today over the phone.
she was quite anxious and, i could sense, i little upset.
for those that dont know my situation im separated from my wife.
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pale.emperor
My ex-wife actually opened up to me today over the phone. She was quite anxious and, i could sense, i little upset. For those that dont know my situation im separated from my wife. I told her i had serious doubts and that i intended to fade which she was eventually ok with but then her sister in law found my "apostate" stuff on my computer and outed me. When the witch hunt started she left me. Her dad is an interfering elder and her family are like a family straight out of a Watchtower picture. Her leaving me was her fathers advice.
She called me today quite anxious and, i could tell, a little upset. Like she'd been crying. I'd had my daughter overnight and i had work in a few hours. She called to say she's feeling really anxious and could i look after our daughter today instead of handing her back. My ex has OCD, like, clinically bad OCD. When i first dated her she used to have plastic over her furniture and took her own cutlery to peoples houses when we went for dinner etc. But the congregation knew her since birth so didnt think anything of it. Her OCD causes her to be anxious when big changes happen in her life. This was one of them.
The conversation went as follows:
HER: im not happy here (her parents house)
ME: Why?
HER: It's just... i dont have a choice.
ME: How'd you mean?
HER: Like, if i dont want to go to the kingdom hall or out on the ministry. My dad goes on at me and my mum does too.
ME: You can do what you want you're a grown woman.
HER: I know but they make me feel guilty.
ME: Well.... i know what you're parents are like, im not gonna go into that, but look, it's your religion. Your relationship with God, thats a very personal thing. When i was "in" i never judged my relationship with Jehovah on how many meetings i turn up to.
HER: Most of the time im not even listening.
ME: Yeah i can relate to that.
HER: Can i trust you?
ME: You've been married to me for 7 years, when have i ever told anyone anything?
HER: I know it's not the truth.
ME: ... ok. Well..... that's good. What are you gonna do?
HER: I cant do anything.
ME: You can. You're not a child.
HER: But if i leave i'll lose everything. My family, my friends...
ME: I know. Look, this is why i didnt want to stay a JW. The very fact that you cant leave is bad. This is why i dont want <daughter> to grow up as one.
HER: I cant tell anyone. All my JW friends dont care about me or my situation... it's only my 2 worldly friends that really understand me and help me. <JW friend> doesnt want to know me unless i go out on the ministry every week.
ME: I'll tell you the truth. Me being disfellowshipped was the best thing that ever happened to me. The world is a wonderful place. You can do anything, be anything, people leave you alone, no one interferes with your life, and if there's people you dont get on with you just dont bother with them.
HER: But i cant just leave.
ME: So what do you want?
HER: Both. I want my family but i want to be free.
ME: Look at my situation. When i was DF'd i had no one. No mother, no sisters, no brothers, everyone i knew since birth suddenly gone. It's not nice. It's not easy. And when you leave you'll learn more and more about this religion and you'll get angry, then sad, then happy then repeat over and over. But being out is a lot better than being in.
HER: I'll just have to go along with it but when i move house gradually stop going. Or move congregation then stop going.
The conversation went on but the end point is she doesn't believe it and it's a shame she left me 4 months ago because of that because we could have still been together. But now i've moved on and i have a girlfriend. More proof that the religion destroys families.
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11
Kingdom Hall construction -- Counting time and reporting travel, meals, and lodging expenses
by FatFreek 2005 ini have two questions.
1. if you work on kingdom hall construction, are you allowed to count your time in lieu of field service?
an old thread here indicated that if you are pioneer, you can count your time.
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pale.emperor
My report slip was the biggest work of fiction since Lord Of The Rings. Local needs announcement about young ones not putting in the hours in the field service? Easy, i'll just put a 1 before my actual number of hours and hey presto im in good standing.
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22
POP QUIZ: You're An Elder, And A Sister Has Suicidal Thoughts...
by pale.emperor inlets imagine you're a jehovah's witness elder.
you have zero theological training aside from what you've read in the watchtower and the currently still approved watchtower publications, you have zero counseling skills, and no medical training.
a recently bereaved sister approaches you in tears and tells you she just wants to die.. what do you do?.
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pale.emperor
"I'm an integrity keeper, I'm an integrity keeper... oh, I must be losing my mind. I was going to put out some cookies with the coffee."
"Thank you Jehovah"
BANG!
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45
CO visits me today
by Chook ini'm at home and hear knock on door , i sneak and look i see two men and recognise one voice and go back into lonunge and ask wife ( who is inactive believer) does she want to speak to elders ,she says no ,then literally 3 minutes has pasted another knock the 3 minutes seemed like an eternity.
so brave heart me think fuck it i'll answer ,i invite them in for coffee, i recognise one older man he is a unique elder who i genuinely was fond of when i was in his name is andrew ,the other guy i didn't recognise we will call harry ( not real name australia doesn't have that many cos with his same name).
so i think to myself i will tread lightly and not cause to much of a fuss for the wife's sake, but my personality is very the opposite of treading lightly ,as you read my threads you will realise i'm not timid.
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pale.emperor
I asked if I announced publicly at the meeting that it presumptuous to think the governing body is Gods Chanel , would that offend some and could I be dealt with judicially , to which he said is possible, then I said you better talk to your boss Geoffrey.
YESSSSSSS!!!
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45
CO visits me today
by Chook ini'm at home and hear knock on door , i sneak and look i see two men and recognise one voice and go back into lonunge and ask wife ( who is inactive believer) does she want to speak to elders ,she says no ,then literally 3 minutes has pasted another knock the 3 minutes seemed like an eternity.
so brave heart me think fuck it i'll answer ,i invite them in for coffee, i recognise one older man he is a unique elder who i genuinely was fond of when i was in his name is andrew ,the other guy i didn't recognise we will call harry ( not real name australia doesn't have that many cos with his same name).
so i think to myself i will tread lightly and not cause to much of a fuss for the wife's sake, but my personality is very the opposite of treading lightly ,as you read my threads you will realise i'm not timid.
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pale.emperor
Love it Chook!
"wont be used against you" ??? What, are you in a court of law? Have you committed a crime? Who the F does he think he is? (oh, yh, we all know who he thinks he is).
I only hope i can remember all of your points when i get my 1 year disfellowshipped "shepherding" visit. You have no idea how much im looking forward to it. Got my mp3 recorder ready and everything.
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10
Week 16 Since My Disfellowshipping - Update
by pale.emperor inhi guys.
i could really do with you advice regarding my current state since being disfellowshipped 16 weeks ago.. since being given the boot (i did try to fade but it failed) ive been on a rollacoaster of emotions.
lately im getting frequent headaches, tiredness and i have about 3 or 4 thoughts running through my mind at all times.. im passed the sadness phase of discovering it's a cult.
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pale.emperor
Hi guys. I could really do with you advice regarding my current state since being disfellowshipped 16 weeks ago.
Since being given the boot (i did try to fade but it failed) ive been on a rollacoaster of emotions. Lately im getting frequent headaches, tiredness and i have about 3 or 4 thoughts running through my mind at all times.
Im passed the sadness phase of discovering it's a cult. I look at the religion objectively now and the cult-y-ness is so glaringly obvious. What does make me sad though is that my family genuinely believe that i know it's the truth but that im in denial. They assume (because they don't speak to me) that i must be sleeping around, smoking, taking drugs, getting drunk etc. But the truth is im the same person with the same morals as before. The only difference in me since leaving is im a lot more friendlier to non-JW's, and im more generous. I used to think "why bother trying to help the homeless, fight poverty, donate to cancer research etc because Jehovah will sort that out one day".
Today i felt really sad. My family are emulating the mother in the latest disfellowshipping video shown at the 2016 convention who doesnt answer the phone. I send photo's of my daughter to my mum via whatsap but get no reply. Not even a "that's nice" or anything. Shunning me is pointless because i dont beleive in god anymore. And even if i did i'd have to figure out which god it is. So im not returning to the JW's. But im completely cut off, they keep playing the shunning game so i cant tell them my current situation.
This week i was officially made homeless. My brother told my mum and sisters. They didnt nothing. Not even a phonecall. My ex told her friends and the elders in her hall. They did nothing. Bear in mind i have a 2yo. The "good Samaritans" did nothing. I had 4 days to find a place to live or i'd be on the street.
Guess who helped? - A Catholic family. Yes, "babylon the great", some of those "worldly" people who are supposed to be without morals and sound reasoning. They helped me find an apartment. And i move in in a few days. They even arranged a van to help me move... for free.
My brother rang yesterday. He's studying with the witnesses and was actually really happy and excited because some bombs hand gone off in Syria and killed a couple of hundred people, there was a shooting in Liverpool and some natural disaster in India has killed a load of people... why was he happy? "Because surely this shows we're so close to the end now". This type of thinking and talk really pisses me off. I cant stand the thought of innocent people suffering and witnesses just love it. I asked him what he knows about Beth Sarim and he had no idea what it was. I explained it and he said "have to been on apostate sites?" i said no, it's in the old books and magazines. He said "you shouldn't be reading them" and "apostates like to exaggerate things".
I have my daughter 3 days a week and i really wished she lived with me. She has no idea what's going on with me and the witnesses and i worry that one day she'll join them too and shun me. Of corse i'll tell her TTATT but i dont want to come across as a crazy apostate that my ex's parents tell her i am.
What i'd like to know is, is there a list of phases one goes through before they're "recovered" from this cult?
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41
I don't think I will be able to escape the JWs ...
by nevaagain ini know i will get a lot of backslash on this forum for saying this, but as it looks like, i won't ever be able to escape the jws.
i have been a born in, third generation jw and awoken in one way or another (i joined this forum 15 years ago) for a very long time.
but i have adapted to the jw lifestyle to a point where it does not bother me anymore.
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pale.emperor
Hi nevaagain
I can relate. Im in my early 30s and understand that it's difficult to meet people and form new friendships, most people by this age already have well established friendships that were formed years ago.
If you're happy living the life you've described above then i sincerely wish you the best. I dont think JW's are bad people... sure there are some, but generally they're good people. It's the organization most of us on here have a problem with, and people blindly following teachings that just arnt right.
But, if you want to live as a JW despite not being committed then i wish you the best and i hope you meet a nice girl.
Pale.Emperor