Posts by pale.emperor

13

Wow... There More Closet Faders Than I Thought

by pale.emperor in

yep, im still fading.

i know it's gonna be a long and meticulous process but so far it's going well.

isnt it funny how when you stop reading the material and stop thinking yourself of being unworthy all the time - eventually you get happier and happier each day and see the world around you the way it is?

pale.emperor

i wonder how many "younger" ones are stuck in the cult--even though they have no interest in it--simply to please controlling overbearing parents ?
for example--my born in ex wife and i had 3 kids--all grown and married with kids of their own. my oldest--and youngest--are still in--and have shunned me totally for many years. my middle one--son age 40 is out--and is totally shunned by his mother---but has a close relationship with me now.
but--even when she ( my ex ) dies--she will still be controlling them.......if they quit the cult after she dies--then they wont get to see her resurrected into the brave new world.
oh--in case you hadnt guessed--i hate the watchtower.cult.

Woahhh.. what a mess!! All that family turmoil and for what? You dont agree with their theology so your own children cut you off? That's horrible.

But youknow, what else could we expect? I've always been taught from birth:

"those who leave are mentally diseased"

"Satan uses people who leave to invent lies about us"

"If they knew what we knew they'd be JW too"

"Jehovah draws the ones he wants into his org"

"It's because they've done some secret wrong that Jehovah knows about, that's why they fall away. He doesnt want them in his org"

"No one is ever happy when they leave."

"Unwanted pregnancy, STD's, Homosexuality... doesn't exist in OUR religion"

"The fact that there's only 8 million of us is proof that we're the one true religion"

"Armageddon will DEFINITELY come before you leave school" - (i left school 16 years ago).

"Dont read any JW critical works. It's all poison."

13

Wow... There More Closet Faders Than I Thought

by pale.emperor in

yep, im still fading.

i know it's gonna be a long and meticulous process but so far it's going well.

isnt it funny how when you stop reading the material and stop thinking yourself of being unworthy all the time - eventually you get happier and happier each day and see the world around you the way it is?

pale.emperor

Yep, im still fading. I know it's gonna be a long and meticulous process but so far it's going well. Isnt it funny how when you stop reading the material and stop thinking yourself of being unworthy all the time - eventually you get happier and happier each day and see the world around you the way it is? Yeah, its not perfect but it never has been.

Anyway, last week i walk walking to the shops with my brother in law, he's 10 years younger than me. He's not long got married and out of the blue told me he's deliberately reducing his ministry input. The reason being that surely it's not right to go door to door when you feel no joy in it. Surely Jehovah would rather send a zealous person to an interested door? I told him that i haven't been on the ministry in 7 months and that im probably listed as inactive by now. I'm no longer called upon to give prayers, no privileges in the hall anymore but i still do demos. (Im gonna take myself off the school too in a few weeks).

The conversation we had was a long one, but in short he relayed some things he didnt feel right about in the borg. With some well thought out reasoning too. But at the same time he does still believe it to be the closest thing to truth out there. I can relate to an extent.

I told him some things im thinking. How this is almost a new religion compared to the one my dad joined in 1973. That if my dad were alive today and was presented with the current version of the revelation book he'd call it apostasy because the version he read was - supposed to be - the correct interpretation of Revelation. Also told him that the world is a terrible place - but then if you want wars, death, rape, destruction, tyrants etc you'll find it all throughout history. This is nothing new.

Nothing i said was dangerous enough to fear an elder pulling me aside and wanting a quiet word. And anyway im not afraid to voice my "doubts" to "concerned" elders. After all, im an imperfect human who is "thirsting for truth".

But what surprised me the most is that he told me of a very active couple we know who've left. No disassociated but stopped going entirely. Apparently they're not comfortable with the direction the borg is going and have concerns with the backtracking, deletions and distortions in the literature. This is a couple that you'd see on convention demos, interviews etc - the kind you'd see in the DVD's telling us how Jehovah has blessed them. They're not DF'ed or disassociated, i dont know why because wouldn't their voicing of such things be considered apostasy?

There seems to be lots of people who - one on one - will tell you they're having doubts but go along anyway because "it's the closest thing we have to truth" or "if i leave, i'd lose my family". Im in the last group myself.

A few years ago a load of young ones from my circuit went to Australia for a year - out of the 12 that went only 1 came back a witness. Without the influence of their parents watchful eyes they grabbed their opportunity to leave with both hands.

Kind of reminds me of North Korea. "Everything is fine. We're all happy here. :) " - as soon as they're out - RUN!!!!

17

My sister denounced the two elders

by opusdei1972 in

yesterday my sister presented, against the two stalker elders, a complaint before the district prosecutor.

the prosecutor said to my sister that in the country there are freedom of religion, so it is totally illegal to accuse a person loudly in the street before her neighbors , and to insist for going to a illegal judicial questioning.

she even showed to the prosecutor a past notification in which she asked to the elders a written document specifying the charge of apostasy so as to attend the judiciary meeting with her attorney.

pale.emperor

I read parts of it only yesterday. A real eye opener.

"In the case that a person is accused of child molestation but there are no witnesses you should..."

Report it to the police anyway to be on the safe side?

Inform the childs parents?

Keep a careful watch on the individual?

All of the above?

"...take no further action. But a note should be kept on file for future reference".

19

I'm a Non-JW looking to ask a few questions re dfing

by RocketQueen in

jw
friends

someone close to me has been brought up as a jw since a very early age.

he's now looking to exit.

he was baptised as a teen and is now early 20s.

pale.emperor

Also remember that JW's beleive that if you know about it and dont report it then YOU are guilty of hiding their secret and so sharing in their sin. So people feel guilt for not reporting it.

My wife was DF'ed a few years ago (she's back now) she went through her first pregnancy 100% alone. And when i say alone, i mean she spoke to NO ONE except me for the entire process - because, remember, as a JW she refused to have any worldly friends - so when you're shunned where are your friends? You dont have any. And in order to come back you need to attend meetings while being shunned, and STILL avoid worldly friendships.

I used to come home from work and my wife would be sitting in the living room with the lights off. Her eyes red with crying all day. She felt she didnt deserve to have heat/comfort for being DF'd. This is while being pregnant.

You think her parents were there for her? Nope. They shunned her. But only because they love her you understand.

40

I went to see my Dr about the blood card issue

by purrpurr in

i booked a double appointment so that she wouldn't be rushed.

i explained that i'd been brought up in the jw's and woken up to what a load of shite it was.

i explained that they have changed the blood card and that the elders in the cong are being told to effectively force people into signing it.

pale.emperor

I forgot to add, she said that in her experience jw's were very racist. I agreed and added that they were also homophobic and sexist.

I have to disagree with you there. Very racist? How exactly? I've not seen racism even once in the organization and I've been in 31years.

Homophobic? It certainly calls homosexuality a sin, but then so do many other religions. There's a homosexual baptized member in my hall and he's treated the same as everyone else.

Sexist? Again, many religions and a male only clergy etc. and have their reasons.

12

Cognitive Dissonance is the feeling of uncomfortable tension which comes from holding two conflicting thoughts in the mind at the same time.

by Sledracer in

cognitive dissonance is the feeling of uncomfortable tension which comes from holding two conflicting thoughts in the mind at the same time.

this is what is wrong with me, i have a love hate relationship with the jw's.

pale.emperor

I'm going through the same thing. Eventually one will win out though.

I also find that im going through cycles of sadness, anger, lack of interest etc over and over throughout the day.

we need to be careful though, because once we let go there'll be a vacuum. People tend to fill that vacuum with another religion or an addiction. But in reality we dont have to, we can get a new hobby and absorb ourselves into that until we settle down.

19

I'm a Non-JW looking to ask a few questions re dfing

by RocketQueen in

jw
friends

someone close to me has been brought up as a jw since a very early age.

he's now looking to exit.

he was baptised as a teen and is now early 20s.

pale.emperor

RocketQueen

I was born in this religion and in the process of trying to get out while retaining my family. The best way i can describe it is like being born in North Korea: You're told one side of the story and that anyone outside is not to be trusted. You're constantly scrutinized. If you try to leave of your own choice you lose your family and friends. Because an announcement is made that "so-and-so is no longer a JW". Now, everyone in the Kingdom Hall assumes you've been disfellowshipped. And then the rumors go around about what it could be. Most assume some sort of sexual scandal.

23

Drifting what i've feared has started already...

by pale.emperor in

im in the process of drifting out.

my entire family are jw's.

my wife and her family are too.

pale.emperor

Grow a pair and be a man and put these clowns in their place.

WingCommander, i appreciate what you're saying but this has nothing to do with fear of any men. It's the FACT that if i tell them im leaving i'll lose my family. And most likely labelled an apostate. Which is an unforgivable sin so no one in my family will ever speak to me again.

Imagine being a North Korean and trying to leave North Korea. It's like that.

23

Drifting what i've feared has started already...

by pale.emperor in

im in the process of drifting out.

my entire family are jw's.

my wife and her family are too.

pale.emperor

Don't say a word. Don't meet with the Elders. If you don't say anything, they can't use anything against you. We have told NOBODY in our family how we really feel. No one knows and we aren't telling. If you need to vent, vent on here or keep a journal.
If you don't want to do their little required tasks, just tell them you are busy or are not feeling well. Nothing more.
You don't owe anyone an explanation. People, in general, are nosy (especially JW's). If they are going to talk about you, they will have to make up something. Not only does this drive em crazy, it is kinda fun to watch them try so hard to extract info, only to find you're not playing into their hands.

But the problem is my wife's dad is an elder. And i live in the same apartment block as another elder and his wife that drive us to the meetings. This elder has already started putting pressure on me to go on the ministry.

I must admit, part of me feels quite sad. Because this has been my personality and entire model of the world since i was a baby. I've got many happy family memories as a JW. Anyone else who left felt that?

9

Anybody remember those brothers that would harass, and hound the elders into making them, finally, appoint him as an elder himself?

by Dunedain in

lol, for some reason, i was thinking back to all the many "characters" that were often so prevalent in kingdom halls back in the day.

they are, i am sure, still there now, but fortunately i haven't been in a kh for like 20 years.. anyway, i remembered this one brother, who was dying to be made an elder.

he could not believe he wasn't an elder yet, after sooo many years.

pale.emperor

I've seen what you've described almost exactly in my hall. The guy's now moved to another hall because our elders "all have it in for him".

He is actually a nice guy... until you upset someone in his family, then they dont go to the hall for a few weeks, stop talking to you and talk about you behind your back.

So maybe he's not far off after all!