i found out that my husband has not only gone to the elders, but has been going to members of my family about me over a period of a few years.
this piece of news is just so depressing.
i've been wondering how my family knew i didn't go and thats why so many of them have becoming more and more distant.
Cognac, I am so sorry he did this to you and that you are hurting. Rude, coniving, arrogant, thoughtless are a few words that describe his actions. Maybe he was acting out of concern but deceit is still deceit and it isn't okay. I'm struggling with my JW-crazed husband too.
edited to say: Oh crap, this is an older thread. And...that's enough internet for me tonight.
there is no end to their madness.
the co gave a talk on inspired error.
i have never heard of it.
continuing a topic that is dear to my heart because of my experience as both a shunner and a shunnee .... some people seem to get very agitated when i talk about the responsibility people have to make the right choices and that despite all the wrongs within the wts, people themselves have a role to play and some personal responsibility for the experience.. notice i said "some" responsibility, not "complete" - this doesn't absolve the wts for the things they do wrong in any way shape or form.
so please don't get argumentative about possible meanings and absolutes - of course the wts has a significant role to play but we need to decide what we're trying to achieve here and why the personal choice is so important.. i'm also not talking about actual crimes that the wts should answer for.
if they cover up child abuse for instance, they absolutely should be reported immediately.
Simon, it is true that it is an individual choice. There are talks from the podium all the time addressing the fact that some Jdubbs ignore the borg's shunning rules and have dealings with their df'd/da'd family, so some people obviously aren't in favor of the practice. But, I really don't see the rules on shunning changing anytime soon. It would take, as you mentioned, a revolutionary person to come into power to change the rules, or the org would have to bleed membership on an unprecedented scale based upon the shunning policy for the GB to consider making changes. I think the average Jdub that shuns does it out of fear of the org. However, it seems that in some people shunning activates a dark and sinister need to elevate themselves over other people acting beneath their "standards". It's a sick practice, and how to stigmatize it with the r&f is a mystery to me.
my wife is shunning me.
she is always in cult mode, we don't talk anymore, we don't sleep in the same bed.
i have been sleeping on the couch.
Sorry to hear you are going through this. My husband sleeps in the other room as well. He started doing this many months ago (I've lost count) when I was waking up and stupidly confronting him with questions that freaked him out. At first, it was really bad. He was super confrontational and treated me like scum. But I have countered all his hostility with love, patience, and attention. I always say I am having doubts about the org, but I will never doubt that I love him and want to be his wife. I tell him this everyday, and I work hard to prove it. My beliefs about the org have changed, and in a JW household that shifts the entire family dynamic. It will take him time to adjust and come to terms with it.
What your wife is doing to you through this ongoing silent treatment is bordering emotional abuse. (My husband has done this to me in the past as well). She is substituting her relationship with you with the org. I have seen sisters do this quite often--it's like an emotional affair--when everyone knows their marriage is on the rocks yet they insist on spending all their time in the ministry all day, everyday instead of at home working on their marriage (happens with brothers too, sadly). My advice to you is to live fully in your own home--don't confine yourself to your room. Be as loving as you can without confrontation, and keep that olive branch extended. If she is willing to go to counseling with you, I would sign up for it tomorrow. The first thing she will have to do is break her silence with you and actually work on the marriage. My heart goes out to you because she is so blind that she has someone who loves her as much as you do. You deserve to have this unconditional love in return. Good luck my friend.
hello everyone.. first post here.
long time follower of this website, probably 4 years now.
i've known about ttatt since ive been 18, im now 22 going on 23 but still go to meetings because of parents.
Hello there and welcome!
Good job thinking ahead to defend your stand. Hopefully your parents will respect your decision and not cut you off from the family.
Sometimes it is good to take a laid back approach (especially since you are not baptized) and simply tell them you are having some doubts and would like to take a break from "the truth" for awhile. Reassure them that you aren't planning on going crazy but that you want some time to think things through and would appreciate their respectful support of your privacy while you sort things out.
It can hurt to lose friends you've known for years. Although, if they start waking up in the future you can be there for them.
Looking forward to your posts:-) Welcome again!
today's watchtower:.
obey us, obey us even when it seems strange, obeying our man made hierarchy equates to obeying god, sacrifice your own interests, work for us, don't be independent, put your own interests aside, obey some more, preach for us, build for us, enjoy it, obey some more, forgive when we are jerks to you and mistreat you, accept your changed assignment even if it seems cruel and doesn't make sense, don't complain if we move you (eg.
) because you might have to move in the new world, remember you are being trained to obey, remember to put your own interests aside, that's the way we are designed to live - it will only make you happy!
Ugh. Just more of this.
LAWHfol your original question sounds philosophical and I really don't know what to say except that it reminded me of something my philosophy professor taught about worshipping science, math etc. There was once a cult that formed to worship math. They believed math was the only perfect thing in all the universe, and therefore to be perfect they had to forego fleshly desires and devote their entire lives to studying math. Further, they believed that when they died they got to study math eternally in an afterlife. Pythagoras started this cult if I remember correctly. You know, the triangles guy. Anywho...I feel this post is random and pointless...but what the hey I'm going to post it anyway. Enjoy.
these boes just arrived!.
.. re: global assistance arrangement for the 2016 service year .
http://wwwb.fileflyer.com/view/xnlm2ba.
i joined this wonderful site, only a few weeks ago, although i have been away from the borg, for almost 20 years.
i didnt introduce myself, on a personal level, but i jumped right in, commenting, making threads, and just immersing myself in this community.
what a time, indeed, to be here, its almost as if i was "called" here, because the week i lurked, and joined, was when all this recent stuff came out.
Now that is one helluva experience! I'm sorry to hear that happened to you, but it sounds like you are better off and much the wiser for it.
Ah yes, the elders...I have seen quite a variety in my life from the totally clueless to the borderline psychotic and everything in between. Many play favorites, but it sounds as though your JC was pretty much standard procedure--anything hidden gets the dfing despite obvious repentance and improvement (I know, I know, total palm to forehead bs).
The part where they screamed at you and wouldn't listen reminded me of this:
2 Corin 2:7,8 (NWT) 7 now you should instead kindly forgive and comfort him, so that he may not be overwhelmed by excessive sadness. 8 I therefore exhort you to confirm your love for him.
hey!
i've been hanging around her for a while.
this is the third attempt at my 'hello'.
