Posts by outoftheorg

10

Your best friend just called to say their life is falling apart ... so you

by free2beme in

jw
friends

... look through your magazines and books and head over with a large supply to place with them.

knowing that what ever the problem is, they only need to read these publications and all will be right in their life again.

your son marries a worldly girl and she is having problems in the marriage.

outoftheorg

This post made me recall a shepherding call I was asked to do with another elder.

This couple in their 40's had three children and seemed to be in love with each other and had a good family.

They told us that they had an argument and the wife had slapped her husband. They seemed to be unwilling to tell us what the start of all this was. Just that they were angry and unhappy with each other.

The elder with me started throwing bible quotes at them about a womans place and how jah hates family arguments and on and on.

I could not think of a useful scripture to use. Probably because I did not trust or like what the bible had to say about this sort of situation and the treatment of women.

So I began to take them back to the time when they married and how they felt and about the births of their children and their previous and current life and the happy times and how to not let arguments ruin an other wise happy family. I dwelt quite a bit about the children and the love and happiness that just waits for them if they solve this angry time and get on with their lives.

I began to see a change of attitude in them both but more so with the wife. I totally left the bible and the religion and its rules out of my discussion.

I was chastised by the elders for not being bible oriented. However it seemed to have solved their problem.

A few months later the husband told me that the argument they had was that she had seen another elder insult and belittle her husband and she was angry at both of them, especially at her husband because he did nothing to defend himself. During this argument she had slapped her husband.

I can vouch for her that this elder is one of the most overbearing fools I have encountered during my trials with the jw's

The husband thanked me and I noticed that his wife was more and more nice to me and seemed to be grateful. Then one day she told me that I had saved their marriage. That is how upset she was with this other elder and the one who had come with me. As the full blame was put upon her as she saw it and I blamed no one.

Recently about 2 years ago my daughter that still goes to that K dum Hall tells me that this sister told her how much she missed me, as I was one of the good elders.

Yet she, now a widow with one df'd son is still a jw in good standing . She was and is a beautiful and intelligent person.

Why throw the bible and jw rules, when some common sense discussion can be more helpful??

Outoftheorg

39

What about calling out to Jah?

by hallelujah in

the big to me is what about jehovah.

after years of calling out to jah, literally, i start to wonder whether jah really helps me or rather it's just a type of mantra.

i have started thinking that i have to look after myself.

outoftheorg

I have called out to Jah a few times. He never answered.

At times I will call out to the supreme being, the creator of the universe and all that is in it.

Not sure if (he it her) answered but a couple of times it seemed to work.

I also have called out to the universal consciousness might have worked once or twice.

I have also called out to my subconscious mind and it seems it works most of the time.

I haven't tried satan yet, he scares me.

Outoftheorg

29

Letting go...a letter to my brother

by Brigid in

dear friends and fellow sojourners,.

as i posted sometime back, i have been grappling with my last fear from the wtbts--that is, saying good-bye to my mother and brother who are still in the organization by revealing that not only have i left but am now what they consider an apostate.

it has come to me, that i must do this to be finally free of the last vestiges of "hold" that the organization still has on me.

outoftheorg

I love my brother and two sisters. When I found that one of my sisters husband had molested my daughter and attempted to molest my other daughter.

I raised hell with the elders and their lack of action and was df'd for fits of rage. Yeah you read it right.

When It became clear that my brother and other sister made it clear that they would not come to see me or speak to me, I felt terrible.

Rejected and treated badly for no real reason. But the molester elder they were willing to speak to.

To stop my grief and sadness caused by my siblings I told them that they were never to contact me in any way for any reason, unless they would apologize for their actions and ASK me to accept them.

My grief and sadness left me. To this day 13 yrs. later my brother has never spoken to me and both of my sisters are now deceased.

The bastard molester still lives and finally a couple of years ago he was df'd. For the crime he comitted 13 yrs, ago and some more recent ones.

We all approach this issue differently for different reasons.

Feel free to use the approach you favor.

Outoftheorg

20

This could change the whole world

by metatron in

jw
friends

a small us company named eestor is rumored to be working on a new ultracapacitor to replace batteries.

a major investor.

with a solid record of picking winners has recently announced major funding of them.

outoftheorg

One of the things that always slows up the newer inventions.

The initial costs of new technology and the cost of replacing such things as batteries as they get old and no longer function.

The hybred cars of today are very costly due to the batteries. I have read where replacement batteries after 5 or 6 yrs of use can cost thousands to replace.

After several years, usually new technology lowers the prices but until they do, we get gouged good by the suppliers.

Outoftheorg

28

My account of a trip to the 1969 District Assembly

by RunningMan in

jw
friends

well, i've decided to try my hand at a different type of writing.

my atheist's book of bible stories is nearly complete, so i thought i would write the epic masterpiece history of my family, from the time that they came to canada until today.

i am calling the book "east of edenwold" (which is a small town in saskatchewan).

outoftheorg

I remember going to that 1969 convention. We drove all the way from San Diego and got there good and tired.

It was raining, on the first day I think and the traffic was heavy. We went up in the stadium and couldn't find seats. I recall one lady glaring at us for trying.

The whole thing pissed me off, which was really easy at that time in my life . Much to my now ex wife's dislike and fussing, I turned around, went back to California and we camped out there.

Our next venture into a Canadian convention was in 1978 and once again lots of rain and it was held in a huge room with a thick curtain like division from another big room with a band playing loud music. All I could hear was the damned drum beat. I stayed for about two hours and then went back, hooked up the camp trailer and headed home to Wyoming for my new job and house.

This was after I resigned the Elder position and the jw's that knew me were either confused about me or disliked me and I returned their actions to them.

Outoftheorg

38

New here,i hope someone might help,my abuser hung himself

by Linzlou24 in

hi,ummm ive just discovered this site and im not sure why im even writing this but im at rockbottom and i dont know how feel,maybe im just searching to find someone who might understand and help me understand because i feel so alone and ashamed,confused and sad,even people might find me bad because of how these events turned...but im not bad inside,ive always been such a soft caring person at heart,im a good person just always been lost,alone and confused....ill try not babble too much but from the beggining dad was here one minute,not the next and then not at all,to this day still never bothers,mum remarried when i was about 4,this was the guy who sexually abused me at 7,{mum never knew},they had a baby together...i found my brother dead in his cot,he died from cotdeath,and it was just all downhill from there with my life,that was after my brother i was abused by him....they split when i was around 8 and i guess my mum looking back now on it now just went on her own mission but it wasnt easy for me,she fell for another guy and we moved from one place to the next,every time i started a new school and made friends,it was time pack up and go and start all over.....

mum settled again and remarried a third time when i was around 12,id started a new high school,maybe its just those teens but i went off the rails with mum,i was terrible,didnt mean to be,but i blamed her for all my hurt and life and id rebel at everything,drinking started,running away started and i just wish now i could have felt close when alls i wanted was to love and be loved back...the next bit until now{im 25 now} is what is killing more than ever and id very much appreciate your thoughts because im lower than ever and still scared....mum is very much here in my life now...its only been a few months but shes heartbroken and the love and understanding has been tremendous off her,she blames herself but i blame me.....

when i started the new highschool i met this girl,she became my friend at the time and it was so good to have a friend id do anything she said....anyway she needed some money once and said i know this guy you can come to with me and he will pay you to touch your boobs,thats when it started i agreed because if i said no then shed probably laughed at me,so i went....,it sounds strange{he was nearly 50} but he was very very nice,and said i dont like the person whos brought you up here,shes nasty...,i hated him touch me but i was scared....but at same time i felt i could really trust him,me and this girl never did stay friends....theres another big big part in all of this,but from 13 this guy became the bestest friend i ever had in my whole life,but everything was a big secret,its lasted years...he had an hold over me,though i knew he was supposed be my friend i knew he musnt really be one else he wouldnt put me through the torture of crying and not coping when i had my baby...my babe is 8now but still when i let him touch my boobs so i can buy the best part of my life something nice or take him somewhere that man would buy bigger and better and undermine all my hurt....

outoftheorg

You are the innocent victim in this story.

You have received lots of good advice and I would want you to read these responses over a few times to get a strong hold on what you are being told here.

I agree that you need help to heal all the damage.

Go to a local hospital or a doctors office or to the police department. Then ask to speak to one of the women who work there and explain that you need help and can't afford it.

They can put you in contact with the local department of health and welfare or other sources for the help you need.

Do not feel afraid or embarrassed. They are used to this sort of thing and will want to help you.

Hang in there and do not give up. You are worthy of help and you are a loveable person who is in need.

Outoftheorg

23

What is the criteria for deleting congregations?

by TooOpinionated in

after reading another thread about a congregation being deleted, i am curious about the process.

i didn't even know it could happen.

how is it all decided?.

outoftheorg

Welcome Jimmy, from one ex elder to another.

I enjoyed your post. Specially that part about "the leaders know exactly what they are doing" in regards to mind control.

This is something that many can not bring themselves to believe, that they could be so very corrupt.

When you feel like it, tell us a bit about your experience that caused you to leave the wbts.

Thanks and welcome.

Outoftheorg

53

IS THERE A SAFE/EFFECTIVE WAY?

by Terry in

jw
friends

now that i'm single again i face the same problem that many baby boomers face: how in the world do you meet somebody??.

i don't go to bars.. i don't like smokers.. i am not nutty enough to be attracted to young and dumb.. crazy music isn't my cup o' tea.. i like conversation with at least some minimal content.. online dating service seem outrageously weird to me.. what's a poor lad to do?.

any reccomendations?

outoftheorg

Candidly cute is quite explicit and honest, with a good sense pf humor. I think you should see if she has a sister or can find someone for you. Actually all you have to do is force your self to socialize. Be somewhat open with others around you and let them know that you are thinking about, maybe, possibly, marrying. Once the ladies get this they will spread the word and you will be seeing the results. Even date the ones who don't seem attractive to you, this is like taking a class in college. Teach yourself with their help, how to act and behave. DON'T be in a hurry You have to create your real personality and dump the one that the wbts installed for you in this area of dating and romance. How do I know this? Because at the age of 62 this is what I had to FORCE myself to do. Outoftheorg

51

How DARE he?! This is why I'm still Single!!!

by stillAwitness in

well, i was dating this guy and its been a long time since i have even been with anyone that i thought was worthwhile.

i've been focusing on other things and with everything else going on with trying to gain my independance i just have not wanted to get caught up.

anyways, how dare the guy i was seeing call the whole jw mind-cult issue "stupid" when i tried to explain to him why i am the way i am (awful social skills, the simple excitement from just being around a new scene, etc.

outoftheorg

I think Mulan is right.

I remember talking to a lawyer about the df'n and how the whole cult teaching is.

His first response was something like," Well what the hell were you doing in a cult".

It is difficult for the normal folks to understand us jw's or ex jw"s and how easily one can be sucked into one.

Outoftheorg

7

Back from my surgery; talked to hospital staff about JW's and blood!

by Virgochik in

i'm home from my surgery.

it went very well, and i didn't need a blood transfusion, tho i signed a consent for one if needed.

i was able to talk to my surgeon and three different nurses about jw's and blood transfusions.

outoftheorg

Good for you Virgo. At one of my wife's chemo transfusions a few weeks ago I got the chance to enlighten one md and several nurses about the jw's and their evil medical teachings.

Turned out one of the nurses sisters was married to a jw and there was a big family fight over his not wanting his wife to take a transfusion.

It turned into quite a discussion.

Outoftheorg