Posts by mentalclarity

18

People are nice and life is awesome.

by OneEyedJoe in

jw
friends

i got invited as a +1 to someone's house yesterday to watch the fireworks.

i'd never met the hosts, and it seemed that most of the people in the group only knew one or two other people there.

yet i felt more genuine friendship from everyone there than i ever felt at any jw gathering.

mentalclarity

@OneEyed Joe - so happy that you are able to experience this. We are really lied to and conditioned to distrust non jws so much. Even if we did meet a nice non-jw our defenses and guard was up which probably affected our interaction with them.

It's really nice when you can let your guard down and just be yourself and allow others to do the same. Just being really open to other people and listening to what they have to say instead of seeing it as an opportunity to "witness" to them is such a game changer. I think to myself, who was I to be so arrogant and think somehow I was leading a better life because I went to a couple of meetings twice a week and that I should have any say on the way you lead your life?????

Most people are pretty awesome and I bet with that attitude, you'll attract more awesome into your life.

36

The 'IN' families

by punkofnice in

one thing i don't miss about being a jobo, is those families that ruled the congregations.. i've seen how the elders protected their own using our old friend, nepotism.. eg.

the son of an elder that stole a car and was prosecuted but 'let off' because it was kept secret and all his relatives were elders in the same congregation.

it certainly went on when i was an elder but i wasn't one of the 'in' crowd.

mentalclarity

When you have three imperfect people deciding someone's fate based on how repentant (and how that manifests itself in individual people) of course things like a nepotism or familiarity with the family will effect the outcome. We all know judicial meetings are not infallible- there's been so many horribly botched up ones.

I personally managed to stay on the fringes of the religion for many years because of nepotism. There also exists alot of elitism and classism in congregations. Alot of upper middle class baptized JWs that I know went to college and married non-jws without too much drama from elders.

The idea that JWs are this type of perfect utopian society on earth where everything is just and fair is so far from reality. It's just like everywhere else- it's all about who you know and your connections.

32

Jehovah's Witnesses: shame and domination

by john.prestor in

i want to suggest something that i've been ruminating on for a while now.

that involves the possibility that when jehovah's witnesses look for "sheep-like ones" what they're actually looking for is this: those who will allow themselves to be dominated (get rid of things that god "hates," accept the movement's beliefs without protest, not check into the movement's history) and those who are willing to be shamed (letting jehovah's witnesses into their homes when doing so is looked down upon in secular society, talking with them on the street when everyone else avoids them).. i say this because from what i observed at the kingdom halls i attended in the course of gathering data for my research i saw:.

-frequent shaming: jehovah's witnesses must do more to be acceptable to god, they are "good for nothing slaves," they are spared through armageddon by jehovah's "undeserved kindness," etc.

mentalclarity

In the last meeting I attended the CO kept on emphasizing the need to be humble and follow the FDS. All the pieces came together at that point and I walked out never to step into a kingdom hall again. There is definitely a theme.

I never thought about the Q and A format of watchtower studies and bible studies until this post. It's similar to doctor-patient or teacher-student interactions. It's really a script that you aren't allowed to deviate from. You're assuming the JWs are an authority and you mindlessly follow this process. Not long ago I actually attended a religious workshop of sorts and there was an actual dialogue and back and forth of ideas with the people attending asking challenging questions. In most circles, the burden of proof lies on those presenting the information, but with JWs your character is attacked if you ask too many questions (see Wake Me Up's earlier post) or your redirected in a way so that the conductor continues to have control and hold the floor.

I also think that JWs are similar to other "truth seekers" and conspiracy theorists that somehow believe that they are special because they understand something or know something that no one else gets. So it feeds your ego - there's a payoff. jah "chooses" the humble ones to share this special information and secrets with.

I'm interested to see how your research develops.

114

The biggest news of the year for Mr. and Mrs. Totally ADD

by Still Totally ADD in

jw
friends

this is bigger than christmas and birthdays wrap into one.

thanks to the australian royal commission our youngest son has woke up.

we received a e-mail from him tonight where he apologized to us for shunning us all these years, how bad he felt for doing this.

mentalclarity

This is wonderful news! Very happy for you😀

66

The urban legends we heard as JWs!

by stuckinarut2 in

how often have we heard some sort of sensationalist urban legend as jws?.

here is an example i was told as a kid:.

the experience of a sister who knocked on a door and was greeted by a big fierce looking man- intimidating and mean.

mentalclarity

The hypnotists/gypsies/psychics who are unable to read JWs and cower away from them because they have god's protection.

Growing up the world war II persecution stories were burned into my memory- the literature that was hidden and not found by soldiers.

There was a time in the 80's the African persecution stories were popping up - everyone was killed but the JWs type stuff. Or the guerrillas captured everyone but the JWs because they respected them-the usual bs.

I've heard so many different versions of the "angels" protecting the JWs at the door. They were protected from rapists/alleged murderers/terrorists/the mafia (insert some scary group here).

And let's not forget the natural disasters ones that come up- every house was damaged but the jws...or the jws who went to their meeting and just then a tornado landed on their house-if they hadn't gone to meeting, they would have been dead...hahaha subtle...very subtle...

20

Are you Enjoying the World Cup?

by snugglebunny in

great to see such an eager young team.

harry kane is incredible.

oops..you'll have to click on the play on youtube link below.

mentalclarity

Yaaaasssss!

Am loving watching the footage of the players attempting to sell the alleged fouls against them. There are some amazing "actors" out there

56

Spiritual "Protection" - a Menace on Psychological Development

by Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho in

not quite a week ago, @lost in the fog created a thread entitled: do you have this illness?.

https://www.jehovahs-witness.com/topic/5187824140681216/do-you-have-this-illness.

in my year of being on this forum, i have browsed many a disillusioned thread of ex-jehovah’s witnesses expressing similar symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder when detailing their awakening - my own story included.

mentalclarity

They really do set you up so that you can only function within the JW bubble. I didn't have any criteria for choosing friends for example. All I knew was "bad associations spoil useful habits" which basically meant JW=good, non jws=bad. So when I left at 19 and found myself in a pretty rough crowd, I thought that was normal. In fact, I just thought that was how all non-jws were and after a while I went running back to the "bubble".

It's really more like Stockholm syndrome with us born-ins.

22

The Excuses JWs use for the child abuse mishandling issue...

by stuckinarut2 in

i have noticed a pattern of regurgitated excuses and justifications used by the average jw if the topic of child abuse gets raised:.

"oh but jehovah's organization is setting the lead in how to handle this issue".

"why are you getting so hung up on this one issue?

mentalclarity

The organization is made of imperfect humans. We need to focus on our own service and relationship with jah.

That's the response from my family anyways.

The thing that really irritates me (besides these horrible crimes themselves) is that for years witnesses really berated the catholics and other churches for their gross misconduct and how it showed that they (JWs) were superior. Why weren't the other churches made up of imperfect humans trying their best to serve god? I honestly cannot understand how people can stomach so much bullshit.

I also don't think JWs in general realize the extent of the child abuse. They think it's some isolated incident here or there and don't realize how the policies do nothing to protect kids in congregations at all. I really feel they haven't connected the dots here because most witnesses I know are super protective of their kids.

46

What is the most troubling or disturbing biblical passage you ever had to rationalise when a Jw?

by stuckinarut2 in

now that we have stepped away from the jw faith, how do you feel about the bible itself?.

what about those awkward sections of scripture?

how did you rationalise or justify those sections?.

mentalclarity

The scripture about the 144,000- All of the other scriptures in Revelation were meant to be taken symbolically but for some odd reason this one was literal. Yeah, that was a hard sell.

80

Are we losing our way a bit at JWN?

by nicolaou in

firstly, i want to be crystal clear how grateful i am for jwn.

it's been my place of support for over seventeen years and it's the first online space i direct anyone to if they are taking steps out of the cult.

i am not bashing jwn - i love this place and appreciate the hard work and expense simon puts in to keep it going.

mentalclarity

I think part of it has to do that there are more people actively commenting on the political posts. Maybe we can think of a way to keep those separate and not show up in the latest/hottest topics because it tends to bury all the jw posts that not too many comment on.

Personally I don't mind the politics - they might interest me more than a post on scandals/doctrines/whatever JWs are doing now because I frankly I don't really care too much what JWs are doing now. But I've been out for almost a decade.

I think this site is important for all ex jws at different stages- those lurking/those who have just awoken/those of us who have been out a while. We can all share some of our experiences and let people know "hey, there is a light at the end of the tunnel...it's all going to be ok. and provide support to those that have been literally abandoned by everyone they know.

But we all have different interests and posts that grab our attention- again, maybe it's a question of not including the political posts in what's been commented on last. I guess that would be a whole change in the system on how topics are listed so I'm not even sure that can be done.