Sorry about what you are going through.
I had to deal with a "Snake" and his wifie some years back when they were disturbing the peace in the congregation lashing out at many. He was eventually removed as PO then as an elder, he moved to another congregation immediately and we wrote a letter not recommending him and he got appointed within a year. We (elders on the body) later said that if we had known how much trouble this was we would just have moved ourselves because frankly, it wasn't worth what it took.
Bottom line is that WTBTS doesn't want kind, gentle, Christlike elders. They want company men that will keep the rank and file in line. It seems the meaner you are and the more fear you spread in the congregation the more parts on the DC program you get.