Posts by ruderedhead

3

how many of you guys were told it was a cult before joining up?

by rather be in hades in

jw
friends

this is more for those who were born out and converted personally.

i'm just curious if anyone was told while they were still studying if this was a cult before they got baptized.

ruderedhead

I was told it was a cult when I was studying, but they had an answer for everything, and you had to work a little harder to do research then. Early 80's, small children, going to school part time, little time to look things up in the library. And they were persistent, even when I tried to avoid them.

I can't believe anyone would join them today with such easy access to information on them. And there is tons of it out there. I can't believe anyone STAYS in today with all the information easily available. But then again, when I first started questioning & researching, I had heart palpitations I was so scared!

9

My Family Study

by BU2B in

jw
friends

as i have posted before i am working to help get my wife out of the jws so we can leave together.

i have been trying to think of ways to open her mind and get her to think critically and use her mind.

i dont want to bring lots of facts and reasoning to her attention if her mind is not yet ready for it.

ruderedhead

BU2B, use the DC to your advantage. Take notes on the nonsense said that you can point out to her on the way home that is wrong. Back up what you are telling her.Listen to her response carefully so you know how to proceed. She may be more open than you think,or you may need more evidence. I realize you can't debate everything, or you will put her on the defensive, but if you have one or two major points for every day, she may think about it. The rest can come out slowly, over the course of the next few weeks. Please continue to be patient so you can get her out. You're talking about a lifetime v.(hopefully) several more months. I wish you well, and hopefully you will both be out soon.

27

Protesters at conventions / assemblies...

by garyneal in

jw
friends

first off, i can happily say that this year i did not attend a single day at this years district convention.. on saturday during the convention, my wife asked me to drop her off after lunch and later pick her up when the convention was over.

while i was dropping her off, i noticed a single individual holding picket signs protesting the convention.

it said things like, "was the ransom sacrifice worth it?

ruderedhead

Maybe it would cause someone studying to look it up, or some teens with their smartphones. Perhaps save them a lot of wasted years. One website can lead to another, you never know!

7

Being alive

by Nika Bee in

hello, i am (almost) new here, and in the beginning i didn't really think that i would ever post something here.

but then.... yesterday i had a little experience, nothing important , people who haven't been in the organisation have probably a hard time to understand why it's even worth talking (writing) about.

but i though if there are people who can relate to it, they are here, and if not this post will just disappear in the internet and no harm was done.. i was walking my friends' dogs in the evening sun, not thinking about anything.

ruderedhead

So glad you are feeling happy and free! I remember the feelings of guilt when I missed a meeting, even though they all tended to be the same. It takes a while to completely shake that. ENJOY YOUR LIFE!

37

Did you pick-up many people for the meetings??

by karter in

i was a regular taxi for alot of people.. we (wife & family) pick up one sister and her 2 children for many years ...he husband had walked out on her and we did'nt mind.. however when we were asked by the cobe wife to pick up and elderly and infermed bro a 3 day assembly (we had 3 young children) i said no.. we pased her and her daughter traviling alone to the assembly.. .

ruderedhead

I only sometimes was asked to give rides to assemblies. I didn't mind, except for the time one poor study had her kids in the back, and her poor kid was afraid to tell his Mom he was getting car sick, and he threw up in the back of my van! On the way to DA. We cleaned it as best as we could,but it sat all day in the MI Summer sun. I scrubbed it 2more times to get the odor out. What really irked me was when I was expected to take on someone else's studies kids for the meetings/assemblies! I had 3 kids of my own, & an unbelieving mate, so I was on my own. And when I was a study, it was rare for anyone to help me. People would just assume I didn't mind taking their study's kids so that the study could "get something out of it".(Yeah, free babysitting!) Why the hell weren't they taking care of their study's kids? My 3 plus 1 or 2 extra. Guess it's a good thing, tho. If I had been able to listen, maybe I wouldn't have gotten out!

24

URGENT: NEED HELP FOR A FRIEND FIGHTING HIS JW WIFE FOR CUSTODY

by Mary in

i just got a call from a friend of mine who is going to court on friday to fight to see his children because his jw ex-wife doesn't want him to have access to them anymore.

in a nutshell this is his situation: met her about 12 years ago after she had left the borg and they got married and had a couple of kids.

she decided that she didn't want her children murdered by jehovah at armageddon so after being gone for 7 years, she went back and went back with a vengence.

ruderedhead

Sorry, I just saw this thread. I hope your friend fared well on Friday. If this is an ongoing case,and his attorney has not already instructed him to do this, please suggest to him that he DELETE HIS FACEBOOK PAGE IF HE HAS ONE! I know several lawyers, and they tell their clients to delete them. I also know that some of them have found things they were looking for to use against their opponents on FB. All the best to your frien, Mary.

21

I messed myself up...

by MC RubberMallet in

the past few weeks have been hectic.. but i went through an experience that has messed me up since.. i met up with an old friend one day who i know went apostate.

it was a really bad day for me, which was really bad for me since i've been taking ttatt as a speed bump but still moving along in life with an ok adjustment.

he since brought a really nice house, cars, new job, everything he always wanted without feeling guilt.

ruderedhead

MC, I'm so sorry this happened to you. I hope you are feeling better every day. You found out the hard way just because something is legal, doesn't mean it isn't dangerous. I live in Michigan, and there was recently a HUGE outcry over the selling of k2/spice ( it has other names as well). A father whose son had become addicted to this started a huge campaign after he got his son onto rehab. Long story short, the media were all over it, others told their stories, law enforcement became involved, and cities began making it illegal to sell. (by the way, it says not for human consumption on the pkg!) I believe there is now a statewide ban on these products, but I could be wrong.

Hope you can put this one bad experience behind you quickly. Try to find/do things to occupy your time and thoughts so you don't dwell. All the best to you

rudered

4

Business...........

by Dudu in

jw
friends

as some of you know i started a business this past school year, what i do basically is to help kids with the homework in the afternoon.

i had 2 people helping me out , both quiet uneffective, here is my dilema:.

1) the first one is my niece.

ruderedhead

This is your business. jgnat's advice is perfect not only for your niece, but for your colleague as well. A good business owner knows that their employees are a key component for their success. There should be no family mess if your niece, as an employee, cannot follow through with your reasonable expectation that she be there on time, stay for the time period she is scheduled for, and perform her duties well. You have not created a family mess because of her causing you unnecessary problems and perhaps hurting your business reputation, have you? Fair is fair. My husband has his own very successful business, and just had to let his brother go because he did not want to perform some of the duties required of his job. He was given a chance, and made his choice. The same for your colleague. She may have brought you some clients, but is she going to cost you clients and harm your reputation in the long run because she chooses to keep her plate too full to fulfill her commitment to you? You are also doing your clients a grave disservice by allowing this type of behavior. I know this may sound harsh, but if you want to run your own business, and be successful, you have to care about the business first. You are the one with something at stake here. Has an employer ever let you get away with this type of behavior? You are being taken advantage of. Put a stop to it now! I wish you all the best. rudered

15

JW family indoctrination is harming my daughter

by uk_ex_jw in

i will cut to the chase quite quickly.. i was a jw up until 2007 when i officially cut my ties, although i was a regular visitor to this site for 3-4 years beforehand.. i married a jw in 2004, had a child, and in 2007 we separated and divorced.

my daughter went to live with her mother.. my ex-wife also left the jw's in 2007 following the breakdown of our marriage.. my daughter is six now and i speak to her every week on the phone - she lives 100+ miles away from me with her mother, her step-father and two younger siblings.. i live with my partner and my two-year-old son.. during school holidays, my daughter comes to stay with me for sometimes a week or on occasions longer.. her maternal, great-grandmother and great auntie are staunch/strict jw's and i know they have been trying to fill my daughters head with watchtower teachings for the past couple of years.. i have contacted her mother and made it clear that i am not happy with this approach.

my daughter celebrates christmas/birthdays etc and any jw teaching is going to be contradictory to this.

ruderedhead

uk_ex_jw, you are in a tough spot! I'm sure you already know the advice to remain respectful and calm in speaking about/to the jw family members is excellent. You daughter will see the hypocrisy of their words if they try to berate you. But it sounds like your poor child is in danger of being sucked in. I hope you can get to the bottom of just how people who live over 100 miles away are able to have such an influence on her. May I suggest that you, your ex wife and your partners sit down and discuss exactly what is going on after you have been able to have a long conversation with your little girl alone? Would it be possible for her to spend the better part of Summer with you so you can at least temporarily stop the jw influence? If you go to church, can you take her to your pastor for some help? Please arm yourself with information that is at her level to combat what she is being told. I feel so badly for you, as you must feel a little helpless right now. Wishing you all the best.

rudered

322

My son was murdered today

by truman in

i have been on this site daily, almost from its beginning, since i left the jws in 2001, but i have been more of a reader than a poster, as you can see from my post count.

i know few here know me, although i know many of you through reading your posts.

maybe it is not right to ask for support, when i generally stay quietly in the background of this forum, but i want only to speak a human misery of the deepest kind.

ruderedhead

I am so sorry. No one should have to bury their child. I am sure every parent ( and those who are not as well) on here weeps for you tonight.