I'm sorry your having such a rough night, crushed. Perhaps that is the one concession you might have made to keep the peace, but what's done is done. No one likes being co-erced and bullied into something, esp. when it comes to ones relationship with God and Christ. That is personal, and it's too bad your Dad & wife can't see that. They wanted you there, it seems, to make things look good, whether they realize it or not. I know you will be very loving tonight when your love comes home. I hope she isn't too hard on you in her anger. If she is, she didn't get much out of the Memorial talk. Jesus died so we could be forgiven. Can she be as forgiving and loving on this of all nights? I hope so. And please remember, that her stomach is probably in knots tonight as well. This is new to her, and she is probably a bit scared as well as angry.
When you told your wife you would never leave the truth, you didn't realize that you didn't HAVE the truth. What you left you now feel was a lie, or at least a falsehood. I realize that it would be a most inopportune time to say this to her, but I hope it makes you feel better tonight, and perhaps at a later time you could gently and lovingly tell her. You are following your conscience, and that is never a bad thing.
Does your fathers wife go to the Memorial? How did he wind up married to an unbeliever? That sure isn't smiled upon in the org., is it? Can you make her your ally? Speak to her occassionally about things, slowly sharing info about the wt w/o condemning it outright so as not to anger your Dad? Just in a matter of fact kind of way, then move onto other subjects? She will probably share some things with him. Perhaps that will get him to back off a bit. All the best to you.
