Posts by contramundum

23

Those that need to see a Therapist / and those that don`t is there a correlation of the two ?

by smiddy3 in

jw
friends

there have been a number of threads / posts here over the years about ex jw`s needing to see therapists for what they are going through , and i can appreciate that.. obviously there are many ex jw`s on here that haven`t ever felt the need to see a therapist ,and i`m just wondering why not ?.

why does one feel the need and another does not ?.

is it to do with born ins as against those who were converts ?

contramundum

I was in the religion from the age of two, so don't remember anything different. I also believed and trusted implicitly.

Since my exit three years ago I have not felt the need for counselling but I have the benefit of a very understanding partner (found after leaving JW) and it's therapeutic to have his perspective. He has the perception to recognise that many of my views still carry the remnants of a life of indoctrination which are more ingrained than I had thought.

That said, I personally know several ex JWs for whom counselling has been an important step in moving on.

As has been said already, we all have a different emotional make up and the cult lifestyle has had more impact on some than others

At least now we are free to choose whatever path we want without fear of censure.

CM

28

Do You Ever Have Dreams You’re Still a JW?

by jp1692 in

last night i dreamt i was at a circuit assembly; i even had a walk-on speaking part early in the morning program.

i spent the rest of the day “working” the event in a security detail.

the dream lasted until the entire day’s program was over.

contramundum

I rarely have dreams related to the JWs now (my last meeting was almost 3 years ago) but I do still remember a nightmare I had as a child....

I had survived Armageddon and was searching round the carnage to locate my family members. I couldn't find any - not my mother, father or sister. I can still recall the feelings of panic this created in me, and convincing myself that Jehovah would make me forget my former life if it made me unhappy.

Bearing in mind I was not yet a teenager at the time and I am now in my 50s, it shows what emotional damage the organisation can inflict on children.

CM

24

Just wanted to share my little bit of good news.

by nicolaou in

i haven't been posting here much lately, i think i only created one topic in 2018!

but this is worth it.. i am a grandfather 😊.

it happens all the time but damn, it feels good.

contramundum

I'm so pleased for you. Grandchildren are such a joy - make the most of spoiling your little granddaughter at birthdays and Christmas

CM

16

Holiday Plans

by Kathy1978 in

anyone doing anything interesting/fun for the holidays this year?

we got some presents for our kids and a tree.

other than that, just chillin.

contramundum

I still live in the same territory of my old congregation so I don't feel free to put up a tree or decorate the house, but I helped to decorate a friend's tree last weekend - for the first time in my life and it felt great!

This will also be the first time I will properly take part in the festivities and I'm as excited as a child 😄

15

Those awkward magazines

by Addison0998 in

i’m sure we all remember those really weird, awkward magazines we were expected to place in service.

and it was before we are had the website or the thing on the back to fall back on.

imagine being a 12 year old girl, and having to place magazines on god’s view of pornography, sex, homosexuality.

contramundum

I would hide the awkward magazine behind its companion magazine (those were the times when we had to leave W & A together) and feel extremely uncomfortable thinking about how I had deceived the householder into accepting it.

I often wondered what they must have thought when they discovered the carefully hidden article as they watched me hastily running away

25

First year with baby!

by Darkknight757 in

i wanted to share a few recent pics of izabella with everyone.

this week marks her one year since her coming home from nicu.

she has been growing and changing so much these last few months in particular.

contramundum

So pleased for you and that your little girl is doing so well xx

22

The JC won't tell the wife about her husband's adultery

by purrpurr in

still reading the shepard the flock book and came across this gem (!)....

"13. if the husband committed adultery, he.

judicial committee should promptly inquire of the.

contramundum

Sadly, I can confirm that this is true in practice.

I had been married for less than two years when my (now ex) husband had a meeting with the elders.

He did not tell me why he was called into the back room, but subsequently had his 'privileges' removed for about one year.

Because my husband refused to discuss the matter with me and I had no idea what had occurred, I asked an elder who was aware of the facts if he would let me know what had happened. His reply was that the matter was confidential and I should wait for an appropriate time to speak to my husband about it.

Predictably, there was no appropriate time and my husband never told me the reason for his removal of privileges.

It was only after I had left him, more than 15 years later, that a male friend got in touch with me and revealed that my husband had propositioned him as well as performing a sexual act in front of him.

I won't go into the details of my ex's behavior over the years, but had I been aware of this in the early years of my marriage, it would have helped immensely in deciding whether to remain loyal or leave before the situation became more difficult.

Elders, by obeying ridiculous and archaic rules, have been instrumental in adding to the misery and pain in many lives.

54

Explain why you are happy if you believe there is no afterlife vs when you joined JW's

by Bad_Wolf in

one thing that has intrigued me are so many who have left, who are wholly convinced everything in existence is merely by chance now, also claim they wouldn't want to live forever, and perfectly fine if this is the only life.

now, i would understand that if you were raised into the religion.

i was raised into it.

contramundum

From a child the idea of living on and on forever frightened me. When I became an adult, that fear never left me because I just could not comprehend the idea of eternity. My coping mechanism was to look ahead only as far as the end of Jesus' thousand year reign - a finite point in the future.

Nobody I knew seemed to experience the same feeling of dread and because we were taught that God had put thoughts of time indefinite into our hearts, I wondered why it wasn't in mine. Maybe I wasn't supposed to make it into paradise.

I do not want to die, but at the same time, now I have left the religion, I don't fear death as much as I feared living forever.

CM

14