Posts by OneFingerSalute

42

Something a CO once said.

by cappytan in

"there are only three reasons you should miss a meeting.

fever, fracture or funeral.

everything else is a sorry excuse.

Yes, I heard that statement too. Even better yet, last night's local "needs" was about missing meetings. Forget about the fever or fracture. You can pop an aspirin, and hobble in on crutches. And as for the funeral, why you know if it isn't yours it isn't any other JDubya's. After all they all know when the meeting is, so they better not be scheduling anyone's funeral for THAT time!

The point was made that, "where two or more are gathered in my name I am present also, so holy spirit is not at your home. It is here! at the Kingdom Hall!"

The F.O.G. was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Nothing but condamnation for anyone who didn't show up regardless of personal circumstances. IDIOTS!

22

Memorial talk wt escape clause

by prologos in

" --only those in the kingdom covenant were served the bread & wine by jesus--" ---false!

this phrase switches from the forgiveness of sin part to the exclusive anointed club section of the memorial talk, and it is false because: the kingdom covenant was done after the passover was done.

and the promise of thrones and judging israel in math 19:28 was not a covenant but an assurance.

OneFingerSalute

This was found on jwtalk in one of the "let's all pat ourselves on the back" forums.

"The reported number of partakers will be somewhere between zero and two, depending on which elder finally wins that argument. . ."

So we can all be clear about it now. It isn't that mythical holy spirit that decides if you are worthy to nibble the cracker and sip the wine. it is some pompous ass elder.

12

I'm confused about the Memorial? Great crowd?

by thedepressedsoul in

this was my first memorial thinking outside of the box.

last year i was starting to have questions but this is the first year i noticed a lot of bs.

can anyone clarify a few things for me?.

OneFingerSalute

I saw that too. One must touch the plate and cup as if it has some magical power to infuse you with spirituality. The goofiest thing was they way the speaker had to touch each one. He couldn't take the plate or cup and then set them on the table, he had to take them, pause, and then pass them back to the wannabe hounder who then set them on the table.

I read previously on here that a poster thought maybe the "great crowd" would be found in nu-lite to be second tier anointed. It made sense to me.

32

CO kept mispronouncing "debt"

by Red Piller in

so, this happened a while ago - but i never posted on it.

during a co visit, he gave a talk relating to jesus ransom (i think) and the "debt" that was owed by sin, etc.... he kept saying "debt" and he kept pronouncing the "b".

so it sounded like "deb-t".

OneFingerSalute

He kept saying "debt" and he kept pronouncing the "b". So it sounded like "deb-t"

Well what would we expect from someone with "better" than a college education from reading all those Awake articles about bugs, birds, and fish?

22

Borg music video a real tear-jerker

by Slave4_38y in

this is a must watch video.

it brought tears of laughter!.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sx-akomec3q.

OneFingerSalute

The video explains one thing quite well.

I have wondered why the great majority of JDubya females are slovenly in their appearance. They seem to be ashamed of themselves (that's another story), they wear ugly clothes, they wear ugly shoes, they bob their hair off and never style it, they slouch when they walk, they pull their shoulders forward as if trying to hide any remote hint of breast, their bellies usually look like they are twelve months pregnant, they don't know what make-up is and if they do happen to wear it they have no clue how to artfully apply it.

Then it dawned on me watching this video. They have an obsession with cookies!

15

Send In The Clowns

by OneFingerSalute in

as i sat through another mind numbing sermon this morning i could not help thinking that the speaker was a total clown.. lime green suit, white shirt, yellow tie, blue socks barely higher than his ankle, brown shoes, and an orange cast.

all that was missing was a big red rubber nose!

and of course everyone remarked what a wonderful talk he gave.

OneFingerSalute

As I sat through another mind numbing sermon this morning I could not help thinking that the speaker was a total clown.

Lime green suit, white shirt, yellow tie, blue socks barely higher than his ankle, brown shoes, and an orange cast. All that was missing was a big red rubber nose! And of course everyone remarked what a wonderful talk he gave. The title was something about being happy even if you are hungry. It was, of course, nothing except "if you are comfortable financially you are in grave danger of dying at Armageddon. You are not doing enough in the recruiting work."

He said only if a person was spiritually hungry could they be truly happy

I wondered if Witlessess are so "HAPPY" does that mean they are spiritually starving because of the lack of "food at the proper time"? If they are spiritually full (he said that was a sign of false Christians who were going to die any day now at the Big A) then what does that say about the JDub's?

I thought for sure my head was gong to explode just sitting there listening to that tripe.

16

new photos of the stupidity ^%$#@ WTF is this %^$#

by NoMoreHustle in

i'm sure you've seen these, just in case you haven't.

https://instagram.com/p/zorhhuhis5/.

https://instagram.com/p/zba9rlhivl/.

OneFingerSalute

I would never have joined this religion had it been when I came in what it is now.

I have heard this same comment from many others, though most of them are older ones who have nowhere else to go, so they stay out of desperation and loneliness.

31

Shorter meetings for field service

by hoser in

march kingdom ministry insert is about how the field service meetings will be shortened from 10 to 15 minutes down to 5 to 7 minutes.

they want the publishers to report more hours.

in my experience the problem isn't the length of the meeting for service but pioneers and publishers dogging it after the service arrangement.

OneFingerSalute

Sheesh, a five to seven minute "meeting" means only two minutes max. when they always start five minutes late anyway.

The good thing though will be that it gives more time to congregate around the water cooler before shuffling out the door.

11

What backlash could you expect by telling everyone you 'hate the Caleb cartoons'?

by Esse quam videri in

what kind of response could you expect if you let everyone in your congregation know that.

"... i hate those stupid caleb cartoons.

i hate his crazy mother.

OneFingerSalute

Caleb = governing body = Jesus = God.

To a loyal brain-dead JDubya saying you hate Caleb means you hate God means you are dangerous and should be DF'd.

I told a super dub pioneer a couple weeks ago what I thought of the JW cartoon network and Caleb and that is the basic reaction I got to my comment.

Idiots!

41

What is the basis for authority for the governing body?

by Half banana in

a word to jehovahs witnesses: what is the basis for the authority the seven members of the governing body can claim in controlling the lives of eight million followers?

the organisation they represent has never got one useful piece of information correct in one hundred and thirty five years... so why should they be believed?.

OneFingerSalute

We are the FDS because we say we are. And because we are we know we are. If we weren't then we wouldn't know we weren't. So SIT DOWN, SHUT UP, and OBEY us!