Posts by professor

you know you're an 80's kid if.... you have a younger cousin or brother named jordan (after michael jordan).. you used the word "grody" in a science paper.. you were shocked at run dmc because they actually swore in a rap song.. you needed to keep your legs warm a lot.. you were secretly planning to be part of the paisley underground.. you parents wouldn't let you have pop rocks because they kill children.. the words "shazbot!

" and "nano nano!

professor

But I'll post the sh&t here, yo.

Sorry, there's this "you know you're a 90's kid" thing going around so I couldn't help rewriting it for the 80's:

-pro

You know you're an 80's kid if...

You have a younger cousin or brother named Jordan (after Michael Jordan).

You used the word "Grody" in a science paper.

You were shocked at Run DMC because they actually swore in a rap song.

You needed to keep your legs warm a lot.

You were secretly planning to be part of the Paisley Underground.

You parents wouldn't let you have Pop Rocks because they kill children.

The words "Shazbot!" and "Nano Nano!" make perfect sense to you.

You could recite any Schoolhouse Rock song before alternative bands started
doing covers of them.

You tried to grow wings on your head, or at least feathers.

You got super excited to think that someday people would have computers
in their homes.

You weren't sure what "androgynous" meant but knew it had something to do
with Boy George.

You remember when it was edgy to read Stephen King novels.

You went to K-Mart all the time but didn't know what Target or Wal-Mart was.

You remember when jelly bracelets didn't have any sexual meaning.

It's still difficult to restrain yourself from saying "Like, totally, for sure!"

You know how to take apart a Rubiks Cube and snap it back together so it looks
like you solved it.

You thought that "Where's the Beef?" commercial was so funny you recorded
it...

...on Beta.

You remember going to skating rinks before they all went Electro.

You got sick and puked due to your abuse (of a Sit 'n' Spin.)

You wore your sweatshirt inside out way before Criss Cross, AND you cut
the sleeves and collar off!

You sat through all 15 minutes of Thriller ever time it played.

You remember how cassettes were so much better than 8-tracks.

Some kids were cooler than you because they had Atari.

You heard about kids going insane from playing Dungeons & Dragons.

You've always known that the New Kids on the Block were NEVER COOL.

You didn't know that bad, made for TV movies were actually all "Television
for Women".

You were one of the people who got screwed when all the cereal companies
discovered that you'd still buy it WITHOUT the toy surprise.

You liked "The Greatest American Hero" theme song even though the show sucked.

You brightened peoples day by sticking a waving plastic hand to your windshield.

You didn't see what was so punky about Punky Brewster.

Your Lite Brite was the coolest technology ever.

You knew the system designed to make your Garanimals match.

You laughed with your friends for hours doing Mad Libs.

You remember parents roughing each other up over Cabage Patch Kids.

You wore a tie with a zipper.

Holy shit. You wore a tie with a zipper.

Screw the WB, you remember when there was no FOX!

You've wished you had Nickelodeon when you were little.

You thought it would be so cool to be Marty McFly.

You think you can moonwalk.

When you said "Gag me" it didn't have anything to do with S & M.

When you were about to lose control you thought you liked it.

You didn't understand why they released the German version of 99 Red
Balloons in the U.S. when it had ALREADY BEEN TRANSLATED INTO ENGLISH!

20

Jehovah won't be my MYSPACE friend.

by professor in

jw
friends

.

i think i know why jehovah hasn't made me his myspace friend.

he probably already has 144 thousand and so he's all done.. .

professor

Within 24 hours of posting this Jehovah finally put me on His friends list. Squeakiest wheel gets the oil. Now I'm going for His top 8.