I have 2 furry canine children and my heart breaks for you. I can't even let my mind go there. They are both rescues and the younger of the 2 has some definite quirks that only endear her more to me. I am so sorry for your loss...
joyfulfader
JoinedPosts by joyfulfader
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46
Lost my best friend (man's best friend)
by Coffee House Girl injust wanted to write a tribute to my best friend whom i lost last week, it was one of the most painful experiences i have ever been through.
i have no children, my puppy was my child.
i got him from a golden retriever rescue organization when he was 2. he was recovering from a car accident, still a bit skiddish, but he chose me to take him home (the foster mom said that he never responded to anyone like he did me).. he was always happy to see me, greet me with a toy in his mouth, he never judged me, never cared whether i was "bad association", he was always there when i needed to smile and remembe that i was not alone in the world.
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Is Fading Emotionally Taxing?
by Aware! ini don't think i could handle a fade.
sooner or later the truth would be found out.
i have yet to come out, but when i do, i'll probably da myself without telling anyone why.
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joyfulfader
I remember those days. I was 18, reg pioneering, dad was PO. Lots of pressure to live up to unattainable standards. I always did try to be the perfect witness but always managed to feel like crap in the process because I could never BE that perfect person. I personally could never have left then. My father would have made my life miserable and I didn't have the inner fortitude that I have now. Fortunately now he has mellowed and I can move forward but now I am 40. Took 20 yrs to get the strength to just fade. Are you going to college? I wish I had the answer to your dilemma. I dont. But just know I empathize with your plight.
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Old Watchtower Article
by turtleturtle inanyone know if i could every buy (possibly on ebay) the article shown here.
it would have to be the original magazine because the site says the bound volume changed it:.
http://www.jwfiles.com/wt_false_predictions/20th_century.htm.
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joyfulfader
We aren't supposed to notice these changes because then we are obviously asking questions that we are not supposed to ask. Can't show anyone the changes because they then want to know how you found said changes and why you were looking in the first place...sooooooo frustrating!!!!!
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Is Fading Emotionally Taxing?
by Aware! ini don't think i could handle a fade.
sooner or later the truth would be found out.
i have yet to come out, but when i do, i'll probably da myself without telling anyone why.
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joyfulfader
Yes fading is taxing because you have to pretend a lot especially if you live near or work with active JWs. I am planning on moving eventually and leaving no forwarding address. I know several people who have faded to the point that no one bothers them anymore. It's a tough call. I would loooove to write a letter but the blackmailers price is too high. I added the joyful part to my screen name not because I like fading but because I am so happy to have made the decision to stop taking all the crap.
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Close friend recently disfellowshipped.
by Emery injust recently i had a very close friend call to notify me of their future disfellowshipping.
i felt such sadnesss by their phone call as they seemed pretty shook up and were desperately pleading their repentance over the phone so i wouldn't think critically of them.
i immediately reassured that person that i still loved and cherished them greatly regardless of their status, i would be there whenever they needed me.
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joyfulfader
From experience I know that being disfellowshipped made me try harder to be good. Be careful because I also believe that if reinstatement happens down the road (because we are all blackmailed to come back) it could come back to bite you. I think reinstated ones are actually the more zealous because they have to work so hard to get back in the good graces of a few men and that struggle makes for more guilt and sadness and spurs some on to do whatever they can to prove themselves "worthy" again. I hope your friend sees the light but if I were u I would tread lightly and as said before me, be a good friend and listener. Perhaps, just perhaps...
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New girl in town here for support
by joyfulfader inhi everyone here on jwn.
i admit to being a lurker for quite some time before joining and now i am ready to post and i want to introduce myself.
i am/was 3rd generation and daughter of the po (as it was termed at the time) for most of my life.
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joyfulfader
Showing my daughter the hypocrisy without being like the org is working. She has 2 friends in another district that she still hangs with but she sees the religion as a trap. I still have to give her the choice I think since I was never given one but she will have to see the real deal AND have other ideas to contemplate. I have also said that she cannot get baptized under my roof because we all know how it is...when r u getting baptized???? When r u getting married??? Hurry hurry hurry...I want to just put my foot down but she does not go to the KH but once in a blue moon (many many miles from old KH) and she is very turned off by the hypocrisy she is seeing firsthand...elders with dui's and elders beating their wives and kids. I just think that she has to see it for herself and make her choice as a young woman. College is right around the corner and that will take her time and energy. Right now she just loves her friends and Justin Bieber. She is an awesome young woman who is loving and smart so I am confident that she won't have any desire to be a witness. She doesn't want to be one now.
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New girl in town here for support
by joyfulfader inhi everyone here on jwn.
i admit to being a lurker for quite some time before joining and now i am ready to post and i want to introduce myself.
i am/was 3rd generation and daughter of the po (as it was termed at the time) for most of my life.
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joyfulfader
I am going to goodwill stores and 2nd hand stores and picking up every bible I can find. I have 7 now and often have them all laying out on the table. Have picked up some concordances and the works of Josephus and am in the process of intense study (in my small amount of free time). I agree that rereading the Bible without the preconceived notions is an essential and worthwhile part, daunting as it may seem with all the branding of my brain.
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New girl in town here for support
by joyfulfader inhi everyone here on jwn.
i admit to being a lurker for quite some time before joining and now i am ready to post and i want to introduce myself.
i am/was 3rd generation and daughter of the po (as it was termed at the time) for most of my life.
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joyfulfader
i have downloaded a pdf of Crisis of Conscience. That is an expensive difficult book to find!! I will read the books by Steve Hassan. I am an avid reader and look forward to reading them.
reopenedmind- I agree with the not doing anything illegal or against my inner moral person. i have always had my own strong sense of morality and ethics. I think my own thoughts helped me realize the twisted words used by the WBTS and the elders were the unethical ones. And I truly believe the slander and life destroying tactics used to make people conform could be considered illegal. so no illegal, unethical acts from this girl!!! And yes, I have my best friend to talk to who shockingly listened to what I had learned and has now realized it too and has left. She is taking a slightly different path to rediscovery but we support one another in this area.
Heaven- you are so right. it is all about emotional blackmail. So easy to get in with the love bombing then there is no escape...NONE. We could tell people over and over to examine their beliefs but as soon as we did the blackmail began. I dont mind the losing of the friends i had at the KH because they werent true friends. I am not DF'd but they abruptly stopped calling and stopped letting their kids call my daughter who is by far and away a more honest, kind, undeceptive young woman than any of them. I cant lose my parents though so I still have to tread lightly.
Fernando- Yes i am strong because I have to be. I have been a single mom for over 8 years since my husband died and I refuse to give up. So thanks for the extra kick to continue :)
Flipper- I agree, intelligence is not the issue but even when one has a few braincells it is difficult to understand how in the world does anyone actually fall for it all???
You have all been so kind and I hope I can offer something positive to all of you on this forum. I have learned a lot over the years and seen quite a bit also. Its all a game of power and politics...a game I have quit playing.
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New girl in town here for support
by joyfulfader inhi everyone here on jwn.
i admit to being a lurker for quite some time before joining and now i am ready to post and i want to introduce myself.
i am/was 3rd generation and daughter of the po (as it was termed at the time) for most of my life.
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joyfulfader
I am realizing that the battle has just begun. Now comes the quest to see what I actually believe. What part of my inner spirituality is truly mine and which part is the indoctrination?? My fear is that I won't be able to tell the difference. I told my dad (before ever even investigating any ex jw sites) that I was tired of living a life based on guilt and fear. He freaked out (as a former elder would) and told me to stop looking up "apostate" info. I told him that those were my own feelings, not feelings I just happened to read about on the Internet. I did not know that any phrase involving jw's and guilt and fear automatically meant apostasy. I no longer discuss my feelings with my parents. They are still trying to deal with the fact that I'm done. But in thinking about that conversation alone how does one ever figure out their own faith if every word spoken was calculated, every thought was edited, every question rephrased to conform...how does one know when their thoughts are finally their own?
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Thanks to everyone on this forum!
by cedars intoday is my first anniversary as a jwn member.
it's hard to believe that only a year has passed since i joined, but i feel that's a testament to how much i have been welcomed and made to feel like part of the furniture.. i would very much like to take this opportunity to thank everyone on the forum for the immense help and assistance i have received, particularly in my first few weeks/months of posting.
it truly was a lifeline at a very distressing time for me.
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joyfulfader
Happy anniversary from the new girl :)