Posts by panhandlegirl

40

JW's misrepresenting their relationship with xjws.

by panhandlegirl in

jw
friends

panhandlegirl

FingersCrossed, I have been very vocal in my witness against jws and their disfellowshipment and shunning of those who disagree with their teachings. I was actually df'd for refusing to comply with their rule to not discuss the Bible with my df'd husband who was df'd for smoking. To me, it was a matter of free speech. Also, as I understand the marriage arrangement, the two become one. The interference of the jc in what I chose to discuss with my husband was unacceptable. The people I have told about how jws df,shun, and break-up families are appalled and say they will not welcome any jws that come to their door. In fact, they say they will ask them about their shunning of those who have left the organization.

You have made a strong and valid argument. Its indeed a shame that Jehovah's Witnesses would speak to us through third parties or to individuals who know us

Scott77, I'm glad you think my argument is "strong and valid." I am sick and tired of jws treating us as children who have misbehaved and been sent to the corner as punishment and no one is allowed to play with us. When my Catholic cousin told me his jw sister had told him that "She (referring to me) knows the rules" it made me angry because I do not recognize any jw rules. That is why I am no longer a jw, I will not follow their rules; their rules do not apply to me.

I agree that "The level of their hatred toward us is very baffling and far out of character with their suposedly loving god Jehovah." I believe that some jws feel that as xjws we have no rights and ought to submit to their rules of conduct. By writing this letter to the BOE, I am attemping to put them on notice that I will not put up with their disrespect of me or their trampling on my personal life; xjws have not been disfellowshipped from the world.We have rights, value, values and worth and I will not tolerate their abuse. They may just tear my letter up, maybe not even read it, but I intend to make my feelings known. I have nothing to lose.They have already taken all they can take from me.

PHG

40

JW's misrepresenting their relationship with xjws.

by panhandlegirl in

jw
friends

panhandlegirl

GLTirebiter, thanks for the help. I will try to incorporate these terms into my letter. I plan to send them a copy of the letter in Spanish also because it is a Spanish congregation. I will have it reviewed by my Spanish Professor for accuracy. My beef is that jws act like xjws don't count, as if we have been rejected by the whole world as undesirables. I refuse to be treated in that manner. JWs have no compunction in treating xjws like dirt so I intend to reply in the same manner; NO HOLD BARRED, Let the chips fall where they may. I can't get df'd again.

PHG.

40

JW's misrepresenting their relationship with xjws.

by panhandlegirl in

jw
friends

panhandlegirl

Satanus, how funny. I never even thought about the use of the word "class" in jw lingo. Thanks for the reply.

PHG.

40

JW's misrepresenting their relationship with xjws.

by panhandlegirl in

jw
friends

panhandlegirl

Apparently I feel determined to write a letter to the BOE about this elder. Here is a draft of the letter. Would appricate comments on the letter.

BOE

COL

Somewhere USA

Dear Sirs,

I recently attended my high school reunion in… TX. While in line for our meal, one of my classmates told me that while standing in line at a local restaurant in Dallas, he found himself alongside a man who was in Dallas visiting his children. Somehow during the conversation, they were discussing our hometown. This man apparently told my friend he knew me and seemed to have a lot of information about me and presented himself as a friend/family member/associate of mine. When my classmate told me the name of the man, …, I was baffled, as I know no one from …by that name and I told him so. Before leaving our reunion, my classmate asked me to try and find out who this man was. By chance, I found myself in …because my aunt, …, was in the hospital. I asked her son, …, if he knew a man named … that might know quite a bit about me. He told me the man was … (I may have an incorrect spelling of the last name) and that he was married to his sister …. I called … to relate the message from my classmate. He told me that he was indeed the man who my classmate had met in Dallas. When I told him my name, …, he promptly hung up on me, which was extraordinary rude. Then my cousin, … called me back screaming at me that I was not to call that number anymore and that she did not know where I had obtained the number but she was going to find out. She then called her brother, …, and screamed at him for giving me the number. I found the conduct of these two people appalling and beyond the pale in rudeness. I am a former Jehovah’s Witness who was disfellowshipped because I disagreed with the organization’s policies. I was a JW from a toddler until the age of 40+ so I am quite acquainted with the organization. I have never treated a disfellowshipped person with such rudeness and I have been around many such ones.

The reason I am writing is that I feel that if Jehovah’s Witness are going to shun former Jehovah’s Witness, then they should not misrepresent themselves to our classmates, friends, or colleagues as our friends, associates and /or colleagues. It is unacceptable to me to have a person such as … who I have never met or laid eyes on, to use my persona for any reason whatsoever. I don’t care what my siblings or cousins do, for I truly love them, but I don’t even know this man nor do I care to make his acquaintance. He obviously has no class.

I would have written this letter to … but she would have torn it up before reading it. If you are reading this paragraph, I trust that you are more unbiased than she. I do not want anything from you. I merely want you to know that we, former jws also have our values.

any comments will be appricated.

40

JW's misrepresenting their relationship with xjws.

by panhandlegirl in

jw
friends

panhandlegirl

LongHairGal, you are correct; jws dare not tell the world how they disrupt familys and shun those who leave. That would be bad advertisment. Instead they engage in "false advertisment" pretending they are a loving organization when we know different.

Diest, yes, what do they have to talk about other than how many hours they spend in field service or gossiping about xjws, whom they consider to be viewed as always an "open season" target for them.

steve2, I intended to "invade his home privacy" by calling him out because he invaded my privacy first by discussing me, who he has never met or laid eyes on, with my classmate, who he was not aquainted with. He never had to say anything about me to a stranger. I guess I felt he was using me and that he "drew first blood." His wife was nastier than the situation called for. I have never treated a df'd person badly and I have been around quite a few of them in my time. I do love my cousin and I guess it hurts to have her treat me so mean. Her sister told her brother's daughter that I was not family, that I was nothing. I guess you never get over being spoken of in such derogatory terms. As you stated, I invaded his privacy, which is what I intended to do so that he may know that I also have "rules" about what I will tolerate and what I consider unacceptable when it concerns my persona. Just because I have chosen to leave the organization does not give them the right to mistreat me. I feel as another poster, elderrite or something does, I can't recall his name right now, who stated that another poster did not know who he was "leaning on." I felt like this elder did not know who he was dealing with. If he messed with me, I would retaliate in kind. If it had been anyone of my cousins, I would not have done anything, I just felt this man, who has never met or seen me, had no right to invade my relationship with my classmate. Maybe I am petty, but I value my privacy too. I feel that I also have worth and will not allow anyone to misrepresent their relationship with me to my friends or anyone else in my life. I do,however, appricate your assessment of the situation. I wanted an unbiased viewpoint.

Sab, I agree that their conduct is "part of the psychological 'ecosystem' of the JW enviroment." The borg does instill a we-vs-them attitude. It is so sad to think of all the time we, as families have lost and are losing, by being divided by this organization.

Satanus, you are right about it being "group thinking" and because they already think badly of us, a "worst false image" makes sense.

braincleaned, that is one of the words I would like to call that elder to his face, and that is what I think he is.

Thanks, all of you for your comments. I will probably not do anything more about it, but it helps to vent about it and get unbiased views on the my experience. I will just e-mail my classmate and tell him I found the person he met in Dallas. I won't go into "the rest of the story."

40

JW's misrepresenting their relationship with xjws.

by panhandlegirl in

jw
friends

panhandlegirl

It'll probably make YOU feel better, but it won't change anything.

00DAD, I want to feel better even though I agree that it will not change anything. One of my other cousins also told her brother's daughter that "I knew the rules about how I, as a df'd person, was supposed to act." They feel and state that when they enter a room, if I am there, I should back off into a corner or leave the room in deference to them. They feel that I am obligated to follow their "rules" and that makes my blood boil. I makes me want to use bad words when I speak to them.

40

JW's misrepresenting their relationship with xjws.

by panhandlegirl in

jw
friends

panhandlegirl

mrsjones5, I don't care if jw say bad things about me. What I felt was that he was trying to enhace himself in the eyes of my classmate by using me, someone who he has only heard about. That is what makes me mad!

LostGeneration, When I called, my cousin answered the phone and because we have not spoken in years, she didnot recognize my voice and did not know who was calling. I only asked to speak to her husband and did not identify myself. Just before he hung up, I told him my name, although he knew who I was when I mentioned my classmate. You would have thought I was the devil incarnate. I believe my cousin was peeved even more because I got the better of her because she would have hung up on me in the first place and would not have allowed me to speak to her elder husband. Yes, callling them out was sweet!

WingCommander, If I did not live on the East coast, across the US from him, I would do as you described.

Do you guys find it interesting that jws would discuss xjws, I mean even our achievements, so that even members of the family or friends who do not know us, are so aware of what we are doing. I think some of them are secretly jealous of us and our freedom and how we have survived and prospered without the organization. They, on the other hand, hold the elders and those above them in high esteem while their own lives are spent going d2d and living under rules that dictate what to wear when they check in at hotels and what medical treatments they can take advantage of and/or whom they can speak to. What a waste of their lives. Kudos to us!

58

Stop fighting about Oompa.

by Robert7 in

jw
friends

i am writing this because i am so upset about the bickering and fighting that is going on about oompa.

this was an amazing wonderful, peaceful, giving man who never met a strager who is now deceased and you are taking his name and running all over the place with it using it for your own agendas.

he is not a statistic.

panhandlegirl

Stacey, OMG! what a moving story. I am so grieved for you as the caregiver to your friend. I know it took alot of your energy and your heart. There is nothing to say that will relieve your pain for his loss. I am sorry that some comments here on the board made you sad and angry. I know you need to rest and grieve. Be assured that we are all thinking of you, your family, and friends. You are one incredible and loving woman. oompa was blessed to have had you as a friend. You did all that was humanly possible to help your friend.

40

JW's misrepresenting their relationship with xjws.

by panhandlegirl in

jw
friends

panhandlegirl

I attended a class reunion at my home town this weekend. During our dinner, one of my classmates told me he had met a friend of mine, who was visiting his son in Dallas,while he was in line for breakfast at some restaurant. When he told me the man's name and described him, I was baffled by how much this person my classmate had met knew about me and my life. When our reunion ended, my classmate asked me to try and find out who this man was. I told him I would as I was intrigued about the whole affair. Later, when I visited with one of my cousins, who is a catholic, I asked him if he knew anyone, by the name my classmate had given me, who knew that much about me. My cousin told that the man was his sister's husband, an elder in the local congregation. I got the man's cell # and called him. I related what my classmate had told me about meeting and speaking with him about me. He told me that it had indeed been him and then quickly hung up on me. His wife, my cousin, quickly called me back screaming at me that I was not to call her number again and that she did not know who had given me her # but that she was going to find out; where opon she quickly hung up the phone on me. I never had a chance to say a word. She then called her brother and screamed at him for giving me her #. I was angry because this elder, whom I have never seen or met and who will not speak to me, represented himself as a friend/family member of mine to my classmate. This is just hypocritical of him. If jws don't speak to us, I feel that they should not speak about us as if they are our friends or associates. They should not use our persona for whatever reason they choose. I am thinking of writing a letter to his BOE and telling them that if they shun xjws that they should also refrain from using ,our name and/or our persona when talking to our friends or any other worldly person. I am the only one of my siblings or cousins who has a university degree and they admire that. Two of my nephews are bigshots in the borg, one is a DO and the other is a former Bethelite who give talks at the DC. My jw cousins view them as if they were Christ himself and are afarid to do anything to offend them. How do you people feel about jws using your name/pesona when they shun you? Has anything like that happened to you? Would appricate your commets. Am I overreacting?

40

JW's misrepresenting their relationship with xjws.

by panhandlegirl in

jw
friends