did you go a little nuts as you were waking up and making your exit?
i had a few of the symptoms listed in hassan's, combatting cult mind control.
i couldn't pull my thoughts together.
Feeling that you're going nuts is new normal after leaving the borg. Even a year or so after I left, on morning I awoke in a cold sweat thinking "What if they are right and they are God's only people!" I had to calm myself down by going over everything I had learned about them. It gets better. It's just difficult leaving something you put your trust into. It's a feeling of "What now?"
PHG
as a teenage jw, i grew up believing that i was not going to finish high school nor would i get old and have to die like my grandparents did.
well, i did finish high school, as did my children and my grandchildren and old age has not been kind to me.
i don't like to look at pictures from 40 years ago, from a time when i was healthy and i had the goal of "stay alive till 75.
itscrap&theyknowit, your comments make me so sad. Sad for your Dad and what he might have accomplished had it not been for this organization. We, and the world, have lost much that we could have contributed to society had it not been for this organization.My brother once commented that one of our jw friends could have been Lee Trevino, the iconic golfer. This boy was a caddy for all the well-off people where we lived and played golf every day; he became a great golfer, but all he ever did was do what the borg required of him. He never even thought about doing anything he wanted to do. I see such intelligent and creative people on this site that I know could have "been somebody" and contributed so much to the world at large had it not been for the constraints this organization placed on all of us. It justs makes me sick to think aout it. I hope all of you will follow your dreams and know that the sky is the limit for all of you; forget about what we used to think. We were lied to and now this life is all we have. I, myself, have done what I can to recapture what I lost and have been successful enough that I have never had to ask anyone for any help. I have inspired my children to get a college degree and do what they can to succeed in life, but I must confess that I am getting up in years and I am a little tired. Now, I just want to encourge those who breaking free from the borg and say: There is life after the borg. Be whatever you know you can be. Follow your dreams and don't look back. We got screwed by the borg, but we are free now. You have a life to live. Make the most of it.
hi, brothers and friends!.
would make me happy if you say a prayer or wish me good luck!.
been an exciting day, training with you guys before the rumble in the jungle tomorrow!.
Healthworker, I will be thinking of you and wishing you well. Is it too late to fade? Losing everything and everybody you love is hard. Be strong, those elders probably don't know as much as you do. The ones that judged me didn't have half my knowledge of the borg than I did. One of them got df'd for adultery not long after he had a hand in disfellowshipping me. What a joke!
PHG (another healthworker)
just give up the job, the house and go somewhere where life moves at a slower pace and there are not as many electronic intrusions?
only thing to get to a place like that costs money.. if i had my way, give all of this up for a quiet life on a little small holding that can look after my needs..
a little log cabin with a wood burning stove. Just grow veg and keep a few chickens.
Ooooh yeah
This is what I have, sans the chickens, I have dogs and a cat. My children keep trying to get me to give it up and move. So far, I have fought the idea off. I used to dream and plan running away but that was when I was married. Now I like my life. Of course, I could never give up my iPAD, internet, iphone, laptop, tv, or anything that helps me keep in touch. I panic when the power goes off. I have to keep in touch but on my terms, not anyone elses. I hope you can find peace, LouBelle. I think I might enjoy visiting with you and drinking a beer, although I usually drink wine. I have read a lot about SA, sounds like an interesting place, but it's far from the US.
PHG
as a teenage jw, i grew up believing that i was not going to finish high school nor would i get old and have to die like my grandparents did.
well, i did finish high school, as did my children and my grandchildren and old age has not been kind to me.
i don't like to look at pictures from 40 years ago, from a time when i was healthy and i had the goal of "stay alive till 75.
Sour Grapes, I know where you're coming from. I never expected to grow old and die either.I used to count the years and think: I will be 29 when the new order comes. Whoa!! What happened? OH!, nothing happened. The world continued on and we were left behind. There's lots of catching up to do. Get with it. Get busy living or get busy dying. It's a letdown when you realize what you believed all your life is a lie. I realized ttatt in my fourties so I have adapted. I now live every day for what it's worth. I am now near my seventies. I can't believe so much time has elasped but it has. I still have a full time job and work forty hours a week. I am hoping I can work until I'm seventy-five. Time will tell. Because we got lemons, it is best that we make lemonade. Go with what you now have left. We got screwed! Now it's time to come to terms with what we have and make the most of it. I feel your pain but we have to change direction. The truth is we will die just like our grandparents, but WE ARE ALIVE NOW! Like the Eagles song, "Take it Easy" says: "We may lose or we may win, but we will never be here again." We have to go with what we have now. When some younger people make fun of me for being old, I just reply: "you should be so lucky!" Most give me respect because as I tell them, "I've been there, done that."
PHG
well, i had the rare opportunity to see this movie tonight, and i would highly recommed it for all ex-jehovah's witnesses!!!.
the documentary film basically consisted of a series of interviews with ex-jehovah's witnesses.. instead of having one interview with the first person, then proceedeing on to the next one, however, mr. smith put together footage from each interview specific to a topic - what it was like being a small child when the parents converted, what it was like being dragged to the meetings and out in "service" as a small child, what it was like missing out on christmas, birthdays and other fun holidays, what it was like going to school and feeling different or isolated, what it was like being denied - "discouraged" - from getting a college education, what it was like dating - or "non-dating" in the religion, what it was like having one's sexual behaviors controlled and censured, what it was like being disfellowshipped, and so on.... as the film's director, gregorio smith said, his "target audience" was three-fold.... ex-jehovah's witnesses, who would be most likely to identify with the people in the film.... non-jehovah's witnesses - "worldly" people - who are interested in or might be considering joining the religion.... and the group least likely to actually see the movie - active jehovah's witnesses - however, disenchanted jws and those considering an exit might be more likely to view it.. it was well done.
the movie used a somewhat non-threatening approach, as opposed to a confrontational or sensationalistic technique.. there wasn't anything actually new in the movie's information, though one comment made by a young man - gregorio's brother, i think - really hit home... regarding the practice of making small children go door-to-door proselytising, he said:.
MARKING
just a few wts that put to the effect anything from them should be taken as from jehovah himself and also with elders or being disfellowshipped, that it means jehovah himself is angry with them, that's it's punishment from him.
.
marked
how would you react toward those family members that.
have treated you like you had leprosy.
for years didn,t.
I have been shunned for over 30 years. After that long a time, I no longer know my sisters. There would be no change on my part, as another poster said: too much water under the bridge.
PHG
agh, i can't find a post... somebody asked a question looking for various quotes where the wts equated following their words to following god's words.. there was an excellent discussion with lots of wt articles quoted... including a scan of a 1942 or 1943 wt article.
.
would appreciate the link, would like to bookmark.. thank you so much.
marking
i've posted on here at times in moments of dispair and anguish over what is happening in my life being married to a jw.
i've everperienced countless moments of depression, anxiety and even entertained suicidal thoughts.
suicidal thoughts at one time to me was unthinkable and a sure sign of desperation.
transhuman68, I loved this writing you posted. It describes exactly what I tried to tell my husband about our children. We don't own them, they belong to themselves.
On Children
Kahlil Gibran
I cannot give you any better advice than you have already received but because I have rasied two children I would like to comment on that.I don't know if you have ever heard the song "Leader of the Band." It's a song written by Dan Fogelberg as a tribute to his musician father. In the song Fogelberg wrote: "I thank you for the freedom when it came my time to go." It's hard to let our children go, but they need to discover life for themselves. They will come back to you, especially if you give them good reasons to come home. You have had influence on your son, he won't forget the things you taught him and the times you shared. Keep the communication with him open. He will likely be more like you than you know. Take care. As I said you have received good advice from these posters We are here for you.
