acsot

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Posts by acsot

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  42

  Were You Depressed Because You Were A Witness?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  it seems that many people here have been greatly depressed because they were or still are jehovah's witnesses.

  what about you?

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  acsot

  Min imus said :

  JW's have learned to perfect living the double life. I feel, at this point, that since I don't believe in much of what JW's actually teach, for family's sake and other considerations, I will do what I have to do. Is this hypocritical? Yes. But, sometimes I think it's a necessary evil.....

  This is scary (I think ) - I'm pulling a Minimus also! Is that why I like your questions? I hand in fake service reports and occasionally attend meetings so that my mother can see some of her friends (or maybe I should say acquaintances). However before I woke up to the truth, I suffered low-grade chronic depression for years. Now I feel so much better - the difference between night and day!

  Liberty said:

  Once the critical mind awakens and can process the contradictions inherent to the Watch Tower's philosophy a person finds themselves in a state of constant stress with no relief in sight. I think this stressed state alone can lead to depression but add to this the constant unrealistic expectations and unnatural peer pressure from your fellow over stressed cult victims who are also guilty and desperate and some escape valve must eventually be opened.

  If you were a deep thinker and took your beliefs seriously you were doomed to unhappiness as a JW. Common sense and critical thinking are also deadly to remaining a JW in good standing. Realizing this fact, especially if you have friends and family in this cult, will lead to more stress and depression as you weigh the consequences of leaving in order to save your sanity

  Very well put and exactly how I felt. I remember thinking that it would have been better for me to be like one of my friends, who didn't seem to question anything or think about much. She just plodded along, pioneered for years and years, actually getting all those hours in legitimately, and probably more since she refused to count her time through coffee breaks . Day in, day out, year in, year out. Never questioning or wondering, just mindless repetition. I actually thought that maybe it was better that way 'cause then you wouldn't have doubts. OMG! How happy I am now to be free of that distorted thinking pattern.

  Yes, life is certainly better now.
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  8

  Things You Will Learn From A CAT:

  by greven in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  things you will learn from a cat:

  only allow people to touch you with your permission.

  if not: make them regret it.

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  acsot

  When loved ones come home, always run to greet them. Then, halfway ask yourself: "Why bother?" and turn around.

  OMG - gotta stop reading these posts during my lunch break! Laughed too much and almost choked on my sandwich! This is so typical of cats! Mine, at least. Yes indeed - LOVE CATS!

  check out this website if you haven't already (can't remember when I posted it or in response to which person):
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  17

  My Daughter's Birthday

  by ESTEE in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  today is my jw daughter's birthday!

  a mommy remembers the day she gave birth to her daughter.

  so i'm gonna just celebrate her day on my own.

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  acsot

  happy birthday Heather!!!

  I'd love to be able to post those little jumping-up-and-down happy faces but don't know how.

  Estee, I'm in the eastern part of Canada - I think FedEx takes good care of shipping birthday cakes to appreciative friends (hint, hint, ). No? Oh well, have a piece for me!
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  10

  Night of the Living Dead

  by JamesThomas in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  when you sit and ponder, it is plain that life is lived in the moment.

  often times, if not always, the most joyous moments are those when we are so present that all thoughts of "me" are gone and there is just this vibrant aliveness, beauty and warmth.

  it's as if we have dissolved into life.

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  acsot

  That significance was in the future. I was taught it wasn't important to express myself artfully or embrace life now. I was taught to be afraid of life and put everything meaningful off to some later time...I was taught and programmed to be dead.

  It was that kind of feeling that made me really question things in the borg - I mean, if it's such a glorious truth, if there's such love, such a grand hope, then why did I feel so disconnected to everything? I was numb to anything and everything. You're absolutely right, and well said. Now at least I can start living and feeling.
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  31

  Were You Part Of a Divided Household?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  were you treated differently?

  were you shown more compassion?

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  acsot

  Cheryl:

  I learned to be alone, and that sticks with me to this day. I am afraid to let people close. Afraid I will be judged for who I am or what my circumstances are. I joke around alot, but deep inside, I feel very alone and being part of the JW's who tell you "we will love you if you do this or that" has made this very much worse.

  I can relate to that, not because of being married to an unbeliever (I'm single) but because of growing up in an alcoholic home, and the resultant isolation - embarrassed to have your friends over, told "not to say anything", etc. Being a JW made it worse, for the reasons stated in many of these threads. I guess that's part of the reason why I tried to "over-compensate" by being super-spiritual, that way I could be "good enough" to get the attention I needed. Problem was, of course, as you wrote, Watchtower love is very conditional, so if you start off with a dysfunctional view of yourself, it only gets compounded by all the counsel/advice/admonition/conditions attached to being a JW.

  When you said that people would commend you for being an example to the congregation, I suddenly remembered that very same thing being said to a sister with an unbelieving, abusive mate. I must have been in my early teens and the JW pioneer said that to the sister with the abusive mate. So pathetic, like "wow, how fortunate you are to have had your head bashed against the wall, now everyone can be encouraged by that!" Must be one of those clichs the dubs love to trot out every once in awhile which serve no purpose other than making others feel worse than they already do .

  At least we have this forum, and Minimus' questions to keep us digging out from all these issues we're buried under. My e-mail is open if you ever want to e-mail me.

  Thanks Minimus for this thread!!!!
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  31

  Were You Part Of a Divided Household?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  were you treated differently?

  were you shown more compassion?

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  acsot

  minimus:

  As for me and my household, keep on asking the questions! It keeps things interesting and lively and I for one sure don't read any "ulterior" motives in it.

  And give my regards to the GB on Monday morning !
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  28

  whats the purpose of human life

  by BIBLE BASHER in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  dont want any shit just realistic ideas and quotes

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  acsot

  Is it to be born,grow old-aging,become decrepit,sickly then die ,then become a new spirit creature and never die! Then what explains the existing spirit creatures that were never human

  My quandary also! I mean, why would the angels (if there are any) not have to go through all this sh$t of life on earth and yet we humans get to experience disease, war, torture, abuse, etc., along with the occasional bright spot like watching a sunset and playing with a puppy. The angels (if there are any) get to see sunsets also from where they are (if there are any). I hope there's an answer, I'd love for there to be something else besides this life, but I have no idea what that could be .
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  6

  Acknowledging Helpful Forums

  by Guest 77 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i would like to take this time to expresss my thanks to forums like randy watters, h20 and simon's in giving all of us the opportunity to express ourselves.

  i was born wet and green to life's experiences, i didn't have a choice.

  most of us, if not all, grew up in a restrictive life style and it has hampered our mental and emotional growth.

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  acsot

  Guest77

  I absolutely agree with you. Many of us didn't have a chance/choice, and Simon, Randy and others are now giving us a chance.

  A positive life is not wasteful.

  Good point.

  trying-to-be-positive-Acsot
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  18

  Did you have physical repercussions?

  by ozziepost in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  a serious question, seriously asked, with serious intent: .

  when you faced a judicial committee, did you suffer physically from the experience?

  we have learned of sisters suffering greatly from the experience.

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  acsot

  OMG! I feel so bad for those of you who had to suffer like that . I'm working on a slow fade right now and I will never ever go to a JC - what a$$holes those elders are! I hope they get what's coming to them!
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  18

  Were u robbed of your childhood too?

  by gydja in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  just wanted to say...i am thrilled about this site!!

  just found it, and i cant get enough...its good to see that you are not alone having these feelings.

  my mother is a jws and so is my younger sister.

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  acsot

  Glad to have you here! I was fascinated with this site when I first ventured onto it also! I guess I feel that I was robbed more of educational opportunities than my childhood per se. At least, that's what I regret most right now. I'm 46 years old and am now going to university part-time. However, I appreciate it a whole lot more than many of the "young" ones there, so I guess not everything's a total waste!

  Hope to hear more from you!

  Acsot (of the "trying to catch up" class)