When I woke up to the TATT I did a huge amount of study, from all the WT publications and compared them to scientific and historical facts. I had to check everything for myself.
One example was the June 1st 2011 Wt pages 20-23 entitled "When was the Bible written?". I went through the article with two different colours. One colour was to mark the specific external historical or scientific evidence that was cited to back up the points given. A second colour was used to mark 'deduced' evidence, such as "the bible says..." or "Jesus refered to the Hebrew scriptures, so this must prove their accuracy" or "it is logical to conclude that..."
The seemingly simple exercise was hugely enlightening and I was able to use it with my study to help her wake up too.
I did the same thing with the reference books like Insight. No, I didn't study them from cover to cover, but I went through key articles, for example those pertaining to prophecies and the flood and key biblical events. I used the two-colour system to see where they were trying to pass off supposition as fact and where they were completely playing down historical facts. Yes, they would mention the historical and scientific facts, but then persuade you why they weren't trustwothy.
I compared keys events with actual historical events and archaelogical evidence, scientific descriptions with scientific facts.
I looked up all the references in the Creation book and even bought some of the books to see the quotes for myself. After around two chapters of that book I had seen enough to merit not finishing the whole book.
I checked all the calculations. For example, the one regarding how the Israelites multipled from the time of them arriving in Egypt to their departure. Even using the WT explanation it was very twisted. The poor women would have been no better than brooding mares to birth all those people (sorry for the crude comparison). And that's if they all lived to at least 100 years old, had little or no maternal mortality or child mortality! Take a look at the life spans for Egypt at the time WT says the events took place, calculate in maternal and infant mortality rates and see where that takes you.
For me, the key was to do my research on my terms and also to get rid of that WT spell or 'what if...' that is indoctrinated into each of their members. If you don't break that spell or power over you completely, you will always have that subconscious voice nagging you. However when you undress that power and hold they had over you, only then can you move forward in confidence.
There is one more thing I would like to speak about. Especially for those of us who were born into the organization (perhaps this may also be true for those who came in later, I don't know) and who experienced the indoctrination from an early age - images of armageddon, wild beasts, people in the throws of death - these are things a child, especially a young child, should never be exposed to. Many of these concepts are too much for a child to grasp as they have not yet developed the mental capacity to assimilate them properly. Psychologists I have spoken to consider this a clear form of child abuse.
Having been brought up in a climate with exposure to psychological fear, terror, death, having to escape, run, obey, beware of demons, told there are invisible armies of things out there trying to attack us, it is inevitable that this will remain in our subconscience. Even if we no longer believe it and are not afraid of it, they will stay there, just as images of a traumatic experience remain engraved in our memory. With time they will fade, but at times, something may trigger them and we will have flashbacks, we may even have nightmares.
It probably doesn't happen to everyone, but discovering you've been lied to your whole life and that your whole life was a lie is something very intense to go through. Just know that you are not alone in your feelings and questionings and experience. Each person must make their path and carve their own future, but just know that we are all here if you need some help and support.
