silentbuddha

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Posts by silentbuddha

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  11

  You are a Jehovah’s Witness or you are nothing at all…

  by silentbuddha in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  this morning i got a call from a friend of mine who i was actually roommates with at bethel in the 1990’s.

  he left that organization about 3 years ago.

  he was crushed because it was the 10 year anniversary (for lack of a better term) of the day that his brother took his life after being disfellowshipped many moons ago and not being reinstated.

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  silentbuddha

  That place turns great people into shadows of their former selves and prevents born-ins from ever reaching their full potential.

  Sickening
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  11

  You are a Jehovah’s Witness or you are nothing at all…

  by silentbuddha in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  this morning i got a call from a friend of mine who i was actually roommates with at bethel in the 1990’s.

  he left that organization about 3 years ago.

  he was crushed because it was the 10 year anniversary (for lack of a better term) of the day that his brother took his life after being disfellowshipped many moons ago and not being reinstated.

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  silentbuddha

  This morning I got a call from a friend of mine who I was actually roommates with at Bethel in the 1990’s. He left that organization about 3 years ago. He was crushed because it was the 10 year anniversary (for lack of a better term) of the day that his brother took his life after being disfellowshipped many moons ago and not being reinstated. We talked about how screwed up the organization was and what the key factor was that drove his brother to take his own life.

  It wasn’t the loneliness, it wasn’t the imposed shame, and it wasn’t even the weird feeling that many get that Jehovah would not forgive them. He said that just 2 days before his brother committed the act he called him and told him that he had no idea how he could make it in life without being a Jehovah’s Witness., his exact words were “I feel like I have no identity… I am nobody if I am not a Jehovah’s Witness.”

  This kid was a very talented musician, he had all the girls in the entire circuit, he was also extremely outgoing. So the idea that he would view himself as not having an identity or being nothing without being linked to the JW’s seemed weird… at first. That is when I remembered something that my father told me when I was about 9 years old. He said, “I am a Jehovah’s Witness before anything else. I am not black, I am not a man, I am not ***insert family last name here***, I am only a Jehovah’s Witness.”

  This got me to thinking just how true that statement is, and why people will kill themselves or never leave the org even when they are doubting so strongly. Basically, when you are a Jehovah’s Witness (a serious one at least) your ethnicity, race, nationality, family, friends, profession, history, skills, etc… all take a backseat or are outright abandoned when you become a JW. Even worse if you are born-in because you never identify as anything but a JW.

  Imagine being a 65 year-old JW who has just found out it Is all hogwash… now what. Why leave? After all, you have nothing else to gravitate to or pick up on. If you are a young twenty-something born-in and you just learned something in your Religion 101 that destroys your beliefs. You might as well ignore it, because once you give up that JW hat, what are you?

  This is why, when I see people of any age, that leave the JW eco-system and proceed to live life my hat goes off to them because they literally have to find out and establish who and what they are all over again.
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  22

  Hugh Hefner died a few weeks back but no post on it. Interesting.

  by Still Totally ADD in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i bring this up because like me i sure many of the men who was kids in the wt cult got their first taste of what a nude women looked like.

  it was the adolescent male sex education for most of us.

  one friend i had who's dad was a elder told me they always had playboys in his house because his dad subscribed to them.

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  silentbuddha

  "when i first saw my wife ( to be ) naked--i realised she didnt have staples across her belly"

  ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOFL
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  59

  A Little Direction Please

  by Brian J in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  i'm an active elder, cobe, just got home from the meeting where i handled the treasures part and concluded by announcing a friend of mine has been d/f,.....blah blah blah...and over the last year have woken up.

  i simply cannot spill my guts to my wife and children as it would be family suicide.

  i have zero desire to bash, spread my feelings, or become an "apostate".

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  silentbuddha

  SORRY IN ADVANCE FOR LONG POST

  Brian – I was in your shoes 5 years or so ago. I made it out with my wife and both children in less than a years time. HOWEVER, as Doubting Bro stated each situation is different. There are a number of people here who proclaim long fades. There are some who yanked off the bandaid and immediately left. Both can work but the best thing you can do is evaluate the following:

  1. Does your wife love you more than the organization / Jehovah. I have noticed when speaking to individuals that made it out with their spouse that evaluate how deeply their love is for you is paramount to your next steps. I knew my wife TRULY valued and loved me and respected me as an individual. Therefore I knew that when I let her understand my doubts she wouldn’t turn trader. I have a friend whose wife was the opposite and so he had to play the long game. Be true to yourself and ask yourself this question.

  2. If you are an elder the easiest way to start to breakaway is to claim you need to concentrate on your family situation because the responsibility of congo, work, and your family is very heavy. Tell them that you need to step-aside and focus. NO ONE ON THE BODY can cause any severe backlash over this. If they do discuss it with your C.O. and stick to your story.

  3. Have you ever told your wife anything regarding judicial matters? If she is used to you doing this, ask her about one of the things in the elders book that doesn’t make sense. Such as if a person doesn’t do anything wrong for three years after committing a serious sin they are pretty much excused from real punishment, or any of the other things that are bat shit crazy. Ask her in a way to let her know that things like this are very troubling to you. Not in a dogmatic fashion, just in a very concerned way. Get her thinking…

  4. Alert her in advance to the fact that once you are no longer and elder that the love and concern and respect that the friends had for you and your family will dry up. It will manifest and she will see the hypocrisy.

  5. Lastly, I would suggest that you show as much and even much more concern and affection to her AFTER YOU STEP DOWN AND SLOWLY move into inactivity. Assure your wife that your love for her and your family is pure. Assure her that you leaving the org is just going to make your marriage and love for your family stronger, and demonstrate it to her. THIS seems to be a huge issue with so many people that try to leave. They become dogmatic and condemnatory of the org, spend all their time researching and barking out issues they have with the Watchtower Org and they grow distant and comparative with their mate. Show as much caring and affection as possible and reassure her of your love and devotion. She will notice you drawing closer to her and your kids and the congregation drawing away from you and her as your prominence (lol prominence in this org) diminishes.

  I am sure others can add a number of valuable points as well, but the things above are things that worked in my situation as well as a number of others who successful got their families out of their.
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  51

  Witness Royalty and the last day at the "Towers"

  by Lynnie in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  my uber elder cousin and his wife got the "privilege" of having one last "toast" of wine at the rooftop garden at the towers in nyc since the jw's are vacating to warwick.

  his oldest daughter and son in law are quite high up in the inner circle so they get invited to all the "inner circle" activities.

  even though they aren't supposed to toast to anything it was pretty darn close.

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  silentbuddha

  By the 90's there were parking spots in various locations near 90 Sands and Adams Street that could be applied for and a number of brothers had nice cars. Some from family and some from gifts. It wasn't all of them but some did. One individual that came in with me had a BMW 325i. The brother I rode to the meetings with had a nice Acura that our congregation bought him that was about 4 years old. The East New York congregation that was the sister Congregation for Thomas Jefferson.

  The Office complex were all the heavies were could call the front desk and request cars for pickups to the airport because they would not use the Bethel shuttle and they also had access to the myriad of Buicks that they kept on hand as well.
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  51

  Witness Royalty and the last day at the "Towers"

  by Lynnie in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  my uber elder cousin and his wife got the "privilege" of having one last "toast" of wine at the rooftop garden at the towers in nyc since the jw's are vacating to warwick.

  his oldest daughter and son in law are quite high up in the inner circle so they get invited to all the "inner circle" activities.

  even though they aren't supposed to toast to anything it was pretty darn close.

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  silentbuddha

  Pete Zahut, I worked in the 30 building complex of Bethel in the early-mid nineties in a variety of departments and I can confirm that the GB used luxury town cars FRIVOLOUSLY For instance, there is a day in which all the apostates of the time would come out to Columbia Heights and line the sidewalks and jeer at any bethelites that would pass by. I remember being at the front door about 30 minutes before lunch and Brother Swingell (the mentally deranged governing body member that use TO WEAR A KIMONO to breakfast on Saturdays and order an entire pan of Jello be at his table) said, "look at all those demon-possessed kooks! I'm not walking through that."
  He walks over to the desk and tells the brother working the desk to call a car for him. Not 15 minutes later a black lincoln towncar (which was fairly standard car services in NY) pulls up. He gets in and it drives him like 600 feet to towers where he was eating lunch... Whenever they went to airports they had the cars come as well.
  Anyone who worked in the Office Complex saw the excesses and I can relate plenty. More importantly are the schemes that take place in the congregations in the surronding areas. I could go on for hours.
  As a matter of fact, anyone who was apart of the 30 Cleaning crew that ever got assigned to work the Stanley Theater will confirm the lavish parties and weddings and private use by WORLDLY people as well as rich witnesses from the surrounding suburbs that used the precious Stanley theater as their playground until the caretaker got disfellowshipped.
  
  
  
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  51

  Witness Royalty and the last day at the "Towers"

  by Lynnie in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  my uber elder cousin and his wife got the "privilege" of having one last "toast" of wine at the rooftop garden at the towers in nyc since the jw's are vacating to warwick.

  his oldest daughter and son in law are quite high up in the inner circle so they get invited to all the "inner circle" activities.

  even though they aren't supposed to toast to anything it was pretty darn close.

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  silentbuddha

  FIsherman, are you denying that there are individuals and groups of individuals who are above the law and have things and do things others cannot get away with? If so, I can gladly provide you with examples of my own as well as those of other VERY prominent people...

  As a matter of fact, if you were at Bethel (as was I) and you are not aware that these things took place then you just were not actively aware of what was going on.
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  27

  Asking for help with wife

  by Are you serious in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  hello everyone, my wife wants nothing to do with my awakening.

  every time i try explaining something she tells me she doesn't want to hear it.

  i believe she's afraid of learning something she's not ready for.

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  silentbuddha

  I was in your shoes 4 years ago... today I am happy to say my wife and kids have all abandoned that dumpster fire of a religion. Each situation is different but like you I left abruptly and my wife was blazing angry and sad all at the same time. I tried to tell her all the things I knew and it only made matters worse.

  My best advice to you is just give it time. It is neither prudent nor fair to her to force her down the path. If she is of the type that can see through the bullshit, she will eventually make changes because she knows you will be there to support her.

  I would also suggest that you still demonstrate that you love her and want to be with her and that your decision does not mean you want to break up the family. Many people I know who were married and left all said that that was one of their spouses biggest fears.
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  72

  What was the biggest thing that convinced you that

  by Ponyo in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  .....the truth was not the truth... ?

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  silentbuddha

  Elders school.... finding out if a certain amount of time passes after a serious sin was committed and a person was still doing fine they received little to no discipline because there progress was a sign jahjoe was good with them
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  22

  Damon Wayans was apparently at 2017 Annual Meeting

  by Richard_I in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  from this post on reddit.com/r/exjw, damon wayans was at the 2017 annual meeting.

  the wayans were raised as jw's but i don't think any of them stated.. strange to see him here.

  this is the same man who defended bill cosby from all the sex abuse allegations..

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  silentbuddha

  I grew up in NJ and his family often visited our congregation in Irvington by. The father was pretty strict as a matter of fact and would pop and smack them.

  They were noticeable only because it was so many of them. When they became famous all the loser sisters woulmd lie that one of the brothers had a thing for them when in actuality it wasn't tru e.