I was never going to leave. I was going to stick it out no matter what, despite my doubts, cuz I never wanted to disappoint my parents. But finally I decided I had to get out and live according to my own beliefs, and let my kids follow their own paths instead of sticking around this cult until their lives were limited by it. It was time to finally grow up.
I'm SO glad I did it, even tho the process was hard. I never could have imagined myself here 10 years ago.