Caleb, that is an interesting perspective on belief in God (why the g_d?).
thank you for that long explanation! I think I am more interested though in your personal stance...you said it doesn't matter so much if you believe or not, as a Jew, but then you say you have a brother who is an atheist...I think I am getting that you do accept Jesus etc., and even the trinity based on what you said earlier about john 1:1 (thank you for that). I agree that the witness experience is very dry and unappealing. I can not think of any other religion so boring in its 'worship', but I have not been to an Adventist church or Christian scientist.
Your sexual orientation is an extremely important part of your story, and I can not imagine what it is like to grow up gay as a jw. I have a friend from my old hall who was disfellowshipped tho, after trying to contend with the idea of living alone forever and deciding he just couldn't do it. He's very happy now but none of his family talks to him anymore, and they were all VERY close, it's heartbreaking.