For a religion SO based on appearances and everyone constantly looking over their shoulder to watch their own back and to see who might be judging them at any moment....and being raised that way, yes, it's difficult to think about how old friends see us, and imagine they are probably shaking their heads. I know their perceptions are distorted but it does still bother me sometimes. I always tried to make everyone happy.
I wonder if they maybe remember the considerate things I did, or maybe they just remember the stupid things I occasionally said. I'm removed from them physically, which helps me forget about them and move on. My family tho, I don't see them much anymore and that hurts quite a lot. I know I'm the child that hurt her parents, my brother is the one they adore now, his kids get their grandparents attention.
But shoot of COURSE it was worth it.