Posts by RevMalk

40

What Would Make You Stop Posting Here?

by minimus in

jw
friends

is it just death or deletion?

RevMalk

I have stopped! About a dozen times or so!

70

Lust For Glory Alienating The Majority?

by Englishman in

if i had ever been a victim of abuse, and the offence had been perpetrated by a member of the jw religion, then silent lambs would be the best thing ever to appear, both on tv and in person.. if i had a close friend or relative who had gone through the same trauma, then i would feel almost the same emotion.. now i do not know, obviously, what percentage of persons on this site have been victims of abuse by jw's, but my guess is that this percentage is relatively small.

so whilst most of us feel very empathetic to abuse victims, not that great a proportion of us have experienced it personally.. however, i do know that many of us have suffered trauma because of other forms of abuse by this organisation, including disfellowshipping which has caused many to be rejected by their loved ones.

whilst it is not possible to measure this form of abuse against that of child abuse, it is nonetheless a type of abuse that most of us are familiar with on a personal level, it's also a type of abuse that is still going on for many who post here.

RevMalk

Not to keep this going, but here's a few, and yes, in my opinion calling anyone names is filthy. Not that I haven't been guilty myself. Here's a few I can point out easily enough:

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.aspx?id=40788&site=3&page=3

It's this stuff I find useless.....just my opinion.

Carry on.

edited - To remove Farkel's 'F' words by request. Sorry, I didn't realize I shoudn't be quoting bad words. Honest!

Edited by - RevMalk on 17 December 2002 14:18:41

32

Bill Bowen...Rev MaLk

by Brummie in

i find it incredibly difficult to read between the lines in current threads on bb closing the sl forums and deleting posts etc, it would be helpful to know what is really going on?

its important.

i havent been keeping up with the sl forum.

RevMalk

Brummie,
Thanks for the support and encouragement. I do want to set one thing straight though. What happened with my sister and I should have never been brought up in a public forum, and that's where I fell short. I suppose it's one of those being human things. I apologize to her, and to anyone/everyone who had to see it. The fact of the matter is, I was becoming disenchanted with what was going on at silentlambs, and her and I got into a brother/sister spat like when we were kids, and I was emotional, and it basically all got blamed on her (my leaving silentlambs). It was my escape hatch, and it was easier to do that (oddly enough) than to admit what was going on inside. She helped me to understand alot of what I was feeling over there in the first place, so in all actuality, I have to thank her, because without her I may have gone further down a road I would have regretted. edited - Spelling

Edited by - RevMalk on 17 December 2002 1:23:13

76

silentlambs board gets name change & new ...

by wednesday in

just got an info e-mail from bill, board is going down dunday mn.

due to too much ngeative talk.

possible he says the rev may open another formum not associated with sl.bill says the effort needs to be concentrated on the coming court cases.

RevMalk

Dazed?

It seems to me everyone here is (was?) getting along fine and we were doing well getting to the bottom of some issues and feelings and emotions. Seems to me you're the only one here freaking out. I think perhaps you have a hidden agenda here yourself, and I wouldn't suggest going too far with it. Just my 2 cents worth. As for others here, I haven't seen any rock throwing or anything of the sort. Perhaps you should read this over?

76

silentlambs board gets name change & new ...

by wednesday in

just got an info e-mail from bill, board is going down dunday mn.

due to too much ngeative talk.

possible he says the rev may open another formum not associated with sl.bill says the effort needs to be concentrated on the coming court cases.

RevMalk

Ok, no problem.

I think I've said enough here so far, probably too much. So, I'm going to drift away from this subject if I can. I have stated my feelings on the whole thing and that's what matters I guess. I am saddened by all this, and I do wish Bill would reconsider, but that's not going to happen. And again, I have no ill-will towards him, what's done is done, and he's doing what he thinks is right as far as I know. So I wish him and silentlambs good luck as well, and I will continue to support the cause.

~ RevMalk ~

32

Bill Bowen...Rev MaLk

by Brummie in

i find it incredibly difficult to read between the lines in current threads on bb closing the sl forums and deleting posts etc, it would be helpful to know what is really going on?

its important.

i havent been keeping up with the sl forum.

RevMalk

Rev:
I think it's crap that Bill decided to end the board. Yes, he has alot of irons in the fire but to discontinue it was really a kick in the teeth. It was one place I could go and feel comfortable, I mean this board is nice but a little extreme at times. (I don't mean to offend anyone) If I wanted to talk about alot of the issues that are brought up here I could go chat elsewhere. No, I wasn't sexually abused but I was emotionally abused and I can't seem to get over it. Having a safe haven and then having it yanked out from under you is not especially comforting. I haven't posted there since, I'm trying this one out to see how it goes, so far so good.
I do want to thank you for taking the board over and I do like the lambs roar idea, I am an artist and am working on a graphic for you to look at.

I pretty much share your feelings. I'm still confused.....maybe it'll go away, I don't know.....I just don't get it, and Bill has informed me the discussion is over....so that's that I guess. As for this forum being 'extreme' at times. Yes I see what you mean, and I don't think anyone will take offense. When you have a board like this, it's hard to please everyone. That's why it's good to have different resources available for specific needs, and I don't think anyone can be offended by that.

I'm still shocked by it all, and I think I've spoken too frankly on it. Emotions you know.....BUT, the fact still remains that he did something I, and apparently plenty of Abuse Survivors and Supporters disagree with. Does that in itself make him a bad person? Of course not....I just have a different opinion.....but then again I am not in charge of silentlambs, so my opinions mean nothing at the end of the day.

Thanks for the Logo thing! First one so far :)

76

silentlambs board gets name change & new ...

by wednesday in

just got an info e-mail from bill, board is going down dunday mn.

due to too much ngeative talk.

possible he says the rev may open another formum not associated with sl.bill says the effort needs to be concentrated on the coming court cases.

RevMalk

Wow, this is getting deep, and so much to comment on here. I'll try my best though :)

Thank you for your questions and trying to further understand what's happened.

Let me give you a run down of everything that has happened up to this minute.

Bill asked me to work on the site. I agreed. What was 'suppose' (or is it 'supposed'? please someone tell me, it drives me insane) to happen was I would build the shell, and oversee the entire site, and each section would have someone in charge of each section. This was so no-one was overwhelmed. I became overwhelmed when that didn't happen. We bought and installed a script for these people to login at, where they could manage their 'departments'. (you can see the link on the main SL page at silentlambs.org.....scroll to the bottom, and click the link on the right). To my knowledge, no-one has ever logged in there. Why? Because there was no-one to log in, or so I thought up until Trauma and Simon and others said that they volunteered to help out. Ok, so this put it all on me, and my daily lists of demands/duties from Bill. I did it. I put my business on the line (a very faint line nowadays), and my family life as well.Ok, so I was doing what I thought (and still do) was right, since no-one was volunteering, or so I thought. I myself put up a help wanted link on SLD, in which quite a few responded. None that had the needs for what I was doing, but many to help post in the news section, so I sent them to "SLC", which in all reality, she needed more help than anyone, that's a huge section. Now, with my stress level gaining and my mind becoming jumbled, and my family relations becoming threatened, I resigned, in public. At that pint Bill emailed me and said that wasn't fair without notice, and was I sure working on SL.org would continue to effect my family relationship, and so on. I replied and said I'd stick around for at least a while. After that it became obvious that there WAS in fact help out there! At this time, I retracted my resignation, and thought it was a new day where we could ALL help out. And then boom, a day or two later the forum thing comes up. The 'board of directors' had been discussing it for 2 or 3 days I think he said, without informing me, without saying "Hey look, we're talking about this, and this might happen, so don't put yourself out any further on building the forums, at least until we make a decision. No, quite the opposite. Bill KNEW I was working on the forums, he had several requests WHILE he was planning it's demise. That I'm not thrilled about either. Ok, so now we're down to his announcement, and you know the rest from there. I will re-post that thread on LambsRoar is anyone needs it for reference. I've moved it to a forum that is only visible to Administration only because it no longer applies, and will do the same for other threads that may be in the same category, as time allows of course. He is my retraction to my resignation:

I would LOVE to be able to work full time with silentlambs and not have to worry about time and lack of time to spend with my family/business/etc. I would love to wake up in the morning and have no other responsibilities other than helping the abuse survivors. But that simply isn't the case. SLC brought up a good idea (and TH for that matter), by delegating certain duties out. I've tried, and we got a bunch of volunteers for the news section, and much needed help for SLC, but we need more. I had no idea TH had volunteered to Bill. Bill has his hands full, so what I propose is a personnel manager. This idea actually came from SLC as well (she's so smart!). We need a new help wanted section up, which SLC has been after me for some time to get going on. Bill wore himself out and needed help. I have been helping with the site, and I'm finding that even that is too much for one person. At least one person who has to work to make money. Each area of the website needs a director. And then we need volunteers for those areas. Also, site promotion, silentlambs promotion, public awareness programs, grant researchers, and so on and so on......it really never ends. And trying to find volunteers that stick around for these things is nearly impossible. Which brings me to the next step. How do we get more money? Not to sound like this is a money making venture, because it is not, but how do we afford these things? People have to work, they have to feed their families. So what can we do to accomplish all this? Yes, we are in this for the abuse survivors, but again, no-one can do this full time, and the cause needs full and part time employees, that's all there is to it. But Bill surely can't afford a whole staff, even though it's needed.

I have a TON of ideas for all of this and they WILL work. XXXXXXX, you've known me for 30+ years

So, my point is, and XXXXXXX, I think this was originally your point, No matter what people 'want' to do to help, they still have their own lives, they still have to feed their families, so if we really want this to work, if we really want silentlambs to grow, and public knowledge to rise, then we MUST get to the point where we can compensate at least some positions within the organization. That's all there is to it. There's not a well known non-profit organization on this planet that hasn't had to do that. It's a fact of life.

So, to get to this point, it takes certain people that are willing to help out now. If we can finally do what TH is saying, delegating out responsibility, than we'll get there. If not, then we won't. SLC has been instrumental in this effort, and some people who are working with her (sorry, I'm not sure who everyone is over there, so I will leave that up to someone else). And if people are volunteering to Bill, and he hasn't/didn't respond, it's probably because he's not received the message, or he's just overwhelmed. He needs help, I need help, SLC needs help.......we all need to help, anyone that can do anything, whether it be for the site itself, the cause, simply receiving and redirecting non-private information, or what have you. I don't know how Bill has not lost it yet, it's all so overwhelming, and to throw in the emotions that most of us, if not all are feeling, is just a little bit too much. I am ALL for everyone doing a little bit to accomplish alot. I know we can do it together, but we need to find some organization here.

I hope all this makes sense, I just woke up.

So, I guess instead of this being a farewell thread, we can turn it into a "What can we all do together" thread.
_________________
"A knaves religion is always the rottenest thing about him." John Ruskin, 19th-century British critic and author

Again, I will move this thread back into the arena if requested....

Simon:

Well, I appreciate all that you've said there. I still can't help but to be torn over the silentlambs link, but like I said, it's your site. As for the LambsRoar link, that's very generous of you and the 'silentlambs' are very appreciative of it, I'm sure. Again, under the circumstances I can't help but to feel a bit guilty.

edited - Spelling of course!

edited - To Protect the innocent.

edited - Again To Protect the innocent

Edited by - RevMalk on 16 December 2002 15:49:5

Edited by - RevMalk on 16 December 2002 22:55:6

76

silentlambs board gets name change & new ...

by wednesday in

just got an info e-mail from bill, board is going down dunday mn.

due to too much ngeative talk.

possible he says the rev may open another formum not associated with sl.bill says the effort needs to be concentrated on the coming court cases.

RevMalk

ummm ..... Rev
I really don't know how to approach this subject with you .... I ahh.... just ... well ....
I now see that Bill has NOT hired anyone but may in the future. Okay. On a side bar ... well I would recommend to Bill that he do hire someone as it takes the pressure off any volunteer(s) and puts a "duty" on the person hired to properly maintain it - but that is just me though as I know volunters have lots on their plate at times.

From what Bill has told me, he HAS hired someone, but I don't care, I just made the statement that if he had all this money, he could have helped out the ones around him that were putting their own families and money aside. I had no idea that this of all things I've said would get so much attention. Note:

I am also going to spend some time with him next
week to learn to do more of this myself. Due to the lambsroar forum I
wish to move the website back to marketwizz in about a week that should
be on Monday the 23rd of this month.

I appreciate your assistance in setting up the new website and may still
need to ask you for some tweaks along the way, but I hope you are able
to move on with this in a positive way and keep your family as a first
priority. I certainly do not want to increase you stress level and cost
you anymore money.

Bold added by me. I'm not complaining, just pointing it out. And I don't wish to argue the point, I'm merely statuing a fact, that's all.

I also see Bill is NOT telling people to stay away from this db. Okay ..... well that helps seeing he hasn't told me to stay away from it.

Listen, I can only state what I see, I said I should have kept my mouth shut, but it's too late now. I can only go by what he tells me, and that's all. I can have my opinions of what other people tell me as well. He applies the pressure to stay away from here, point blank. He obviously can't demand it, or I should say, we don't have to listen, but that's what has happened in the past. If you don't believe me then you don't believe me. What can I do? I have private messages I'm reading right now: "You need to stay away from JWD, you're spending too much time there, they will only drag you down". Now I can quote from emails and private messages all day long, but it's not proof of anything. I can copy and paste to my heart's content. I could also edit to my heart's content, just like anyone else, and the bottom line is, there still is no solid proof of what I've said here. And again, I won't argue the point, because I know what the truth is, in my heart, soul and mind, so a debate will serve no purpose. If you think I'm lying or whatever you're getting at, that's fine. Keep in mind I am not trying to be argumentative (just my little disclaimer). You have a right to question what you wish, just as I have a right to post what I know as fact, and my opinions as well.

Question ..... Did you ever say recently that you were planning on quiting the SL web site due to time constraints/family matters etc?

Yes, this is public knowledge. It's also public knowledge that Bill asked me to stay, at least for a while, and that it wasn't fair to bail without notice. He was 100% correct, but also note when he fired me, I didn't get notice. I received notice of when he's moving the site, and that is all. I also received demands last night for work he wants done on the website. Not my place, I'm not the Webmaster anymore, and it's up to him to get that done. For legal reasons I will not enter his hosting account, and I just want that made clear. Also, until he signs off that the design of that site is owned by Meg@Sytes International, and that copyrights will stay, he does not have permission to use that design. I'm not trying to be petty, but LambsRoar uses the same design, and I need to cover myself legally. One day the LambsRoar design may change, but not right now, I don't want a big shock to anyone.....too much change all at once is no good. Also, I'd like to note that I still support the silentlambs cause, and Bill moving the site is his decision. I told him that silentlambs will always have a home at Meg@Sytes, and that still stands true. I never charged him a dime, and will not if he decided to let it remain where it is. Which of course we can bet won't happen, but that's where I stand on this.

Listen, I don't think Bill is evil, and I still try my best to look at the bright side of everything he does. I'm not against Bill, and I'm certainly not against silentlambs. I disagree with him here, and that's all there is to it. Why shouldn't I be able to voice my opinions and feelings? Is this the Kingdom Hall? NO, so a person who fights for this exact right should have no problem with a critic, especially when that 'critic' is only giving his opinion on one thing here. Bottom line, I think he's making a mistake, is that so wrong to say?

32

Bill Bowen...Rev MaLk

by Brummie in

i find it incredibly difficult to read between the lines in current threads on bb closing the sl forums and deleting posts etc, it would be helpful to know what is really going on?

its important.

i havent been keeping up with the sl forum.

RevMalk

Rev can you just speak your mind please. This is a pretty outspoken board and freedom of speach is allowed... why have reservations? We should never fear speaking truth.

Ok, I know what you mean, and I should practice what I preach right? Well, this is the thing. I've been doing some thinking, and no matter what I think of the way Bill handles things, he's all the cause has at this time. He's the only one who's getting anything done. So looking at the broader spectrum, I realized that perhaps I've said too much. I don't want to hurt the cause or what people think of it, or Bill, that's just not my place. No matter what drives Bill, he is being driven, and that's what seems to be the important thing. Brummie, if I spoke my full mind here, it wouldn't be good. Simon doesn't have enough space for all that's on my mind at this time, and I'm not sure it would serve anyone purpose.

My main concern at this time is the Abuse Survivors. When Bill told me he was taking the boards down, like I said I was blown away, and ran for everything I could get my hands on to button it down and keep it right where it is. There's obviously a reason why I put it on LambsRoar.com and not silentlambs.org, which I've stated in another thread. I heard all the things everyone says about Bill, and I wanted to make sure it was safe, just in case anything crazy happened. But never in a millions years did I think that was actually going to happen, especially in the first month. I'm not trying to bash the guy or his efforts in any of the statements I've made thus far. Partly for the reason that he's all we have, and partly because he hasn't done an 'evil' thing here, he just hasn't taken the Lambs into consideration with this decision, and I think he needs to start doing that. As people have been pointing out, he supposedly is working for them, so why don't they get a say in these matters? Alot of the things I say are coming from them, some are not posting because they fear what Bill and silentlambs will think, and some are not posting for other similar reasons, but rest assured, they are speaking their minds to me. So some of the things I say and have been saying are directly out of the mouths of the silentlambs supporters. Many are disenchanted over this and other things, some are shocked (all?) and others are through with silentlambs. I'm saddened to see all this happening. I just made a large post in the other thread regarding much of this, so you might want to check there for deeper answers: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.aspx?id=42365&page=3&site=3

I apologize for the lack of detail here, I really have to get going, I have a ton of work to do, but if you have any further questions, feel free to ask.

76

silentlambs board gets name change & new ...

by wednesday in

just got an info e-mail from bill, board is going down dunday mn.

due to too much ngeative talk.

possible he says the rev may open another formum not associated with sl.bill says the effort needs to be concentrated on the coming court cases.

RevMalk

Oh man......I assumed that this was public knowledge. I had no idea this was going to happen and now it's on my head for opening my mouth. I am very upset about the boards at silentlambs, this is true. Not because Bill doesn't feel the need to have them, but because he gave the Lambs what they wanted, then stripped it away without asking them, or even listening to their plea. His excuse being the 'negativity', and then suggested using the guestbook again. That guestbook was the source of more negativity than I've ever witnessed in my life, so that's why I am so upset. If anyone needs proof, go take a look at the guestbook archives on silentlambs.org (or silentlambs.com)

ok, as for the link. I can't tell you what to do, obviously. And you are your own man, obviously. And you own this site, obviously. I understand that every man has his breaking point, although I never imagined yours would come in the same thread I was ever near. I feel partly responsible for this, and I am shocked that this happened here and now, after all that has happened. Frankly, I supposed you'd never remove the link because of the same reason I'm afraid to speak my mind, because there is no-one else standing up to fight for the same cause as Mr. Bowen is now. On a side note, I wonder sometimes if someone should, but not one person, perhaps several if anything. This one person, one man rule is, in itself a downfall, yet on some level is serving a purpose, for some. Maybe the problem here is that there IS only one rule in this cause. Anyway, if you MUST remove the link to silentlambs, is there anyone willing to put the information that is not copyrighted up somewhere that you can link to? Or perhaps build a section of this website to do so? Or even if you needed space, I have one opening up in the next week with silentlambs moving off my server (joke:). No, really, I will be willing to host information, and it can contain basically everything silentlambs has, and more even. I don't think Bill would have a problem with that, it's information that he wants out there to the public, so I can't imagine under the circumstances he'd mind at all. I'm just thinking that if you MUST remove the links, this will at least keep the information alive for your visitors. That way you have no ties to Bill, and you'll be still serving the purpose, and promoting the ideas and information that you've always believed in. I think, however, you should think long and hard on whether or not you really want to do this. Or maybe you have, I don't know. Maybe you've hit bottom and can't take anymore, and I am no-one to judge you, but on the same token I can see the harmful effects that 'can' arise from this. I must admit, even though I know you've taken alot, I can't help but feel the guilt in my soul knowing it came directly after my 'ranting'. Not knowing the full story and history here, this is not going to be easy for me to live with. I fear I've said to much, and yet believe me, I've held back greatly, even though I just want to scream from the rooftops my feelings on all of this. There's another thread started recently which I'm also going replying to right now. This will explain alot of why I am going to clam up here. http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.aspx?id=42519&site=3

I fear that even though I fight for freedom of speach, I've crossed the line. I've tried my best to look at the grand scope of things throughout my involvement with silentlambs, and avoided really voicing my negative comments regarding the organization, for the good of the cause. I've allowed silentlambs to come between me and my own family members for this reason. I've argued with the lot of you defending Bill and the cause, sometimes even against my better judgement, because I truly felt in my heart that that was what I needed to do. Call it WTBS mentallity if you wish, but I felt it my duty to back up the only man who seems to be pushing forward and putting the pressure on the Governing Body. I came to realize recently that that is not helping. You can't fight them, you can only hurt them. How do you do that? By making sure everyone on this planet knows what they're made of. Suing them until they have not one dime will help, but it won't solve all (not that we shouldn't, mind you). Why? Because with 6 million members worldwide, they will ALWAYS stand up again. I'm not saying those within the organization are a lost cause, I am saying just the opposite. It's time to quit trying to chop down the tree from the top......it will get you nowhere. Our only hope is to hit that trunk, the 'pillar' that holds the Governing Body so high. The trunk may seem strong, but it's only made of weak R/F.....pick one piece off at a time, and eventually the tree will fall, and if it never does? Well, if we save one child along the way, whether they be JW/ex-JW, or 'worldly', it's all been worth it. We should be concentrating on the children, and I see no children at Brooklyn bethel. We should be informing every parent, aunt, uncle, gramma, and grampa on this planet that THEIR loved one(s) may be in danger, whether they be JWs or not. They see us on the news and they think nothing of it, and go on with their lives. How many people saw the Dateline episode? 11 mil was it? How many remember it today? The JWs maybe? The same JWs that are now shaking their heads yes, and Amen when their Elders spat out their silly excuses?

Ok, there I go again ranting, so I'll shut up lest I do more damage. Here is a 'portion' of the email I received from Bill regarding the 'paying' of a new Webmaster. Whether he's telling the truth or not I cannot be certain:

I have been out most of today and just got in. XXXXXX is not taking
over I may use him to assist with certain things such as the video
stuff. I am currently talking to a local webmaster to pay him a fee and
have him run the site. I believe this will be a simpler way to go and
take the stress off you.

There's much more, but apparently posting an email from someone on here doesn't win you any awards :)

As for the part about staying away from JWD. I have messages from Bill, and no, he didn't 'demand' that I stay away from here. He is on here every day, and anyone that's close to Bill knows they get an email that they've 'been spending alot of time on JWD, it's best to stay away, they'll only tear you down' (loosely quoted). It's like you can't go anywhere without being followed, it's very creepy. Also, I've received reports of downright 'demanding' to stay away, but again, that is 3rd party info. I only have what I've been told by Bill to go on, and that's all. I only have personal messages via email and the Private Message system at SLD (now LRD), and to post those may be violating trust, so I will refrain. I've learned my lesson in that regard.

I have to think about all this for a while, like I said Simon, this is your site and you need to do what you feel is right and just. I can't decide that for you, obviously, nor would I try. But I beg of you to think things through and make sure you feel in your heart and soul that this is what needs to be done.