Why don't you call the private industry counsel in your area. They help train people for different careers. Or, look in your paper and train to be a truck driver, in a few months you'll be making a grand or so a week. Alot of trucking companies train for free, or send you to school for free. Might be worth a try since you drive for a living anyway.
Then if you really must, you'll have access to all sorts of stuff to steal, hahaha
KIDDING (sorry)