so i was talking to my boyfriend about the whole jw scriptural divorce idea.
i made the point initally that i think when jesus was talking about reasons to get divorced, he was more or less just trying to discourage divorce for frivilous reasons.
you have to admit that there are a lot of people out there who just don't put much effort into it and just give up.
Simply stated, no. Only because you would need 2 other "witnesses" to the event and I doubt the "guilty" spouse would invite additional parties over to watch it with him/her. Unless, of course, that's how they get their kink on. LOL
But seriously, I'm pretty sure that watching porn would not stand up in a JC. That's just my honest opinion.
did you change the way you dress after leaving the wt?.
Absolutely NO pantyhose, no "slips" (my mother felt that a dress worn w/o a slip was just totally scandalous) and NO dresses unless it's an evening gown for New Year's or something like that.
I have a nose piercing and love it!
No tattoos, but I'm not opposed to them.
I don't wear t-shirts over my bathing suits anymore.
i was about 8-10 years old and twice i had people tell me that i should not pioneer but to go to bethel because i "was governing body material".. one was a co and another a do.. i didn't even believe in god, never have so that makes it weird!.
what wierd things were told?.
That I couldn't fall asleep with my radio on at night because demons might try to talk to me through 98.9 FM (easy-listening station in NE Ohio).
as a little child i used to have horrible, horrible nightmares do to all the satan/ demon and big a talk.
i was also horrified of the dark for the same reason.
I had an irrational fear of the dark as a child. I always slept with a nightlight on because I thought that even a hint of light would keep the Satan and the demons at bay. I also would fall asleep to the radio on an easy-listening station, however, my mother didn't want EVP coming through the radio, so she made sure it was set to turn off within an hour (it had a countdown timer for sleep).
At the KH, I used to envision what I would do when anti-religious "terrorists" would burst through the doors with their machine guns and machetes and start butchering us. I would think to myself, "I have no where to hide when they come to kill us."
I was afraid of everything... something that my MUCH older siblings teased me about. But they have no idea the kind of horrors that went through my mind all through childhood. I thought that I had to sleep on my right side because the left side was "evil." I still have no idea where I came up with that one.
But yes, my youth was very warped much like everyone else that has posted on here.
hi all: i really need your advise and imput.
i am a born in.
have been a fader for over 20 years.
Dear harleybear,
"I will not do this prior to my father death for various reasons but feel very strongly that I need to cut the tie when he is gone."
It seems like you've already made up your mind about not disassociating yourself until your father passes away. Please let me know if I am incorrect.
if i have never used the internet, i would probably return to the borg by now.
.
Had the internet been around in 1995/96 like it is now, it would have solidified my decision to STAY df'd and not return. However, I DID get reinstated in Dec. 2000 and I should have done some research prior to then. I was extremely brainwashed: my father, brother, uncle, brother-in-law are all elders. I finally walked away cold turkey in 2009. I didn't do any "research" until 2010 when I checked out COC from my library. It went from there. I JUST joined some ex-JW sites, such as this one and it's helpful to reach things that I didn't even know existed while I was growing up in the 80s and 90s. Since having left the WTS, I have changed so much (for the better). I am kinder, more patient, tolerant, loving, etc. I was a wicked bitch of a wife to my ex-husband that died almost 6 months ago because I was always trying to convert him... to save his life, of course!
I am with a wonderful person that loves me unconditionally ... something I had never experienced before. It is so amazing to be free!
so last friday we had our regular visitor over.
one of the single brothers from my former hall.
we were decent friends when i was still attending meetings, but since my departure we don't have a lot in common.
Flat_Accent,
I used to be a very "goody two shoes" JW growing up. I never questioned anything (out loud) even though I had many doubts growing up. However, those went unexpressed and eventually pushed into the back of my mind. I didn't want to be a "doubting Thomas" and end up being on the "outside looking in" as my older brother once said to me. It took me 31 years to wake up and here I am, at 34, still waking up. Thank goodness for these forums, sites, etc. I have known for about a solid year now that something was very, very wrong with the way I grew up. Within the past year, I've had many lightbulb moments, one of which was "Wow! I have never known unconditional love."
so last friday we had our regular visitor over.
one of the single brothers from my former hall.
we were decent friends when i was still attending meetings, but since my departure we don't have a lot in common.
I would have loved to have been sitting at that table with you... trying to hold back the smirks and fake "choking" on food while I listened to your buddy try and act like he knows all the answers of the universe. I guess I don't have it so bad. No one in my family speaks to me anymore and neither do any of my so-called friends that I grew up with in the WTS... and I'm not even DF'd or DA'd. Although, I've been considering DA'ing myself. Anyway, thanks for a good read. I like the way you narrate... quite comical! :-)
i mean, i had respect for the guy, and it's obviously right to be there for the family and show support.
however, i can imagine what it will be like going back.
i was friendly with a lot of the older, tougher sisters, so i'm sure they'll get on my case.
Are there going to be any calling hours at a funeral home? If this were me, and therefore I cannot speak for you or anyone else, I would steer clear of the KH at all costs. Like nugget says, it puts you back on the "radar." I am not DF'd or DA'd, but my family still treats me as such. I am 34 and my parents are both 75. I honestly don't know what I'll do when I am notified of their passing. I really don't think I would attend their services if they were held in a KH. I love them dearly, but I value my sanity even more so. It's totally up to you, but you most likely have an intuitive feeling as to what you feel is right. If you get a sick feeling right in the pit of your stomach when thinking about stepping into that KH, listen to it. If it doesn't bother you and you really want to pay your respects to the family, go ahead. However, think about a couple things. How often did this person have contact with you? When was the last time you had a caring conversation with this person? Would they have attended your services if you had passed away? Just some things to ponder, but I wouldn't dwell on it too much. :-) Keep us posted!
